A Perfect Sunday

Dear Kid,

A Perfect Sunday (obviously) starts with the night before. Last night Dad took me to see the North College Hill Community Theater production of The Real Inspector Hound. The accents came and went a bit, but it was delightful (I LOVE Tom Stoppard [the author]) and a nice little space. The only thing that could have improved it would have been to tie it with another of Stoppard’s one act plays. On the flip side, with only one act we got home before bedtime.

Also last night the Puppy slept through the night. Which was a Big Freakin’ Deal. We are quite hopeful that this is a sign that the 4am barking phase is over and done with.

Today, I hope to get to the gym early and be home in time for the most important event of the year. You got it: the Puppy Bowl.

This year they’ve included several “disabled” dogs. Um, “differently-abled” please. The really wonderful news is that all these pups are from shelters and have now been adopted. Big cheer from the endzone if you ask me.

Also, flippin’ cute.

As a conversation stopper, "I don't drink caffeine" was right up there with “Let’s talk politics and religion.” DearKidLoveMom.comThen there’s football.

I really hope it’s a good game. It’s the last one of the season and I hope, hope, hope it provides 100% in the way of entertainment and sport and 0% in the way of scandal. We, the People, need that.

Meanwhile, the sun is shining, the streets are clear, and the coffee is hot.

This is shaping up to be a perfect Sunday.

Love, Mom

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Your parents are tired and grumpy. You’ve been warned. | Winter is Coming and Puppy is Barking

Dear Kid,

So it happened.

As we knew (or at least feared) it would.

Your parents are tired and grumpy. You've been warned. DearKidLoveMom.comThe groundhog, Mr. Punxsutawney Phil himself, saw his shadow, screeched in alarm, and darted back down underneath his covers, there to stay until 2021.

Perhaps it wasn’t his shadow that so freaked him out. I’m not a groundhog handler, so I can’t be sure.

Regardless, we are likely to have more winter before we have spring. This surprises exactly no one except those of me who were slightly hopeful.

We are continuing to have issues with the Puppy barking at all sorts of unapproved hours. He’s being very closed-snouted about the why of the whole thing.

At first I thought he just decided that he’s too grown up and doesn’t need a crate anymore, but I don’t think that’s it.

‘Tis a puzzlement.

Not an amusing one since it is diametrically opposite sleep. Which we like. A lot.

Between the additional winter and the less than standard amount of sleep, you have fairly cranky parents.

You’ve been warned.

Love, Mom

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They’re Doing What at the WKC Dog Show?

Dear Kid,

Have. You. Heard. The. News.

Big news.

Colossal news.

News to make the fur stand up on the back of your neck. At the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.

Westminster? The show is in New York. Westminster is not. Actually, it turns out that the WKC is not named after the Westminster in England. It was named after a hotel in Manhattan where (and I quote) “sporting gentlemen used to meet in the bar to drink and lie about their shooting accomplishments. Eventually they formed a club and bought a training area and kennel. They kept their dogs there and hired a trainer.”

The WKC Dog Show has been around for a long time (and by “long time” I mean has been in all four Madison Square Gardens. Madisons Square Garden? Madison Squared Garden?).

Where cats can be cats. And be admired. And obeyed. As it should be. DearKidLoveMom.comThere are always new things in shows like this. New sponsors, new rules, new hosts, new judges. This year, “new” is going a step further. Not only are there new breed being shown (including Ewok), but for the first time the show includes cats.

As in Meow.

As in the big Dog Show (the one with “Dog Show” in its name) is including cats.

Don’t get me wrong—I like cats. I love that they know they’re smarter than everyone around them. And I am not a member of the WKC, so I have no emotional attachment to their traditions.

But I’m having a little trouble reconciling cats at a dog show. I always thought cats were more evolved than that, more into ruling by power than by beauty pageant pomp and ceremony.

Maybe I just need to get with the times. To recognize that how an animal self-identifies is more important than the species he or she was born with.

To be fair, the cats are not going compete or parade around the ring. They are going to be on display in their booths. Where they can be cats.

At the Dog Show.

2017 is shaping up to be a weird year.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Alarm in the Middle of the Night

Dear Kid,

Right now, he looks like an angel. He’s fast asleep and little baby snores are wafting slowly around him. Really, I can see them. Like little cartoon Zs with wings and agitrons (they’re related to grawlixes).

Grawlixes. The characters cartoonists use instead of swear words. DearKidLoveMom.com

Grawlixes. The characters cartoonists use instead of swear words.

Agitrons: wiggly lines around a shaking object or character.

Grawlixes: typographical symbols standing for profanities, appearing in dialogue balloons in place of actual dialogue.

His little nose is tucked under and he’s just a ball of adorable love.

Not so a few hours ago.

4:47am to be precise.

That’s when he began to bark.

First a warning bark or two. Then a cascade of Get Away From My House arpeggios. Followed by a full-on The Huns Are Invading alert. After 6 or 7 weeks of this, I hauled myself out of bed to investigate. 

I took the baby for a walk (which he enjoyed very much) and gave him breakfast (which he also enjoyed very much) and then he settled himself on his pillow for the aforementioned snooze. I still have no idea what caused the middle of the night call to arms feet paws. And surprisingly, he’s not talking.

(Note: Dad just came downstairs. “You,” he said looking at me and ignoring the Puppy’s flopping tail, “took the bait.”

I thought grawlixes.

“I don’t know why you didn’t just go out into the hall. That quiets him down and you could have gone right back to bed.”

Note on the Note: Doesn’t matter how hard you look, you will not be able to find Dad’s body.)

In all likelihood I will be napping this afternoon.

Love, Mom

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New Year, New Yoga (Seriously)

Dear Kid,

You’re not going to believe this. We’re doing yoga. Not just me. Your father is joining me. And enjoying it.

So far we’ve just done a 20 minute intro to yoga which consists mostly of breathing while sitting and then breathing while standing with one downward dog and one warrior pose. But we’ve now done it three days in a row, which I consider to be a Trend if not an actual Achievement.

Yoga. We haven't quite mastered this one...or anything even close. Breathing. We can breathe. DearKidLoveMom.comDad is quick to point out that it is not just yoga, it is Yoga with Adrienne. Adrienne has videos on YouTube which we are playing on the big TV (so it’s techy). If you want to see what we’re doing you too can follow along.

The funniest part of yoga is how the Puppy feels about it. He sees yoga as an invitation to play. We’re breathing calming. The Puppy is bouncing around. We bring our awareness to our center. He brings awareness to his toys. We go into downward dog. He head-butts me. It’s an interesting dynamic.

Not only are we doing yoga at home, Dad has been going to the gym with me. He’ll walk with me a little and then ride the bike a little. He’s even jogged a bit with me, but he insists on trying to correct my running form so I don’t encourage the jogging as I am not there for criticism or instruction.

New year, new us.

Love, Mom

Making 2017 Better One Day at a Time

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Empty Nests, River Otters, and Confusion

Dear Kid Child,

Your mother is losing her marbles (and let’s face it—she didn’t exactly have a full set to begin with). So I’ve sent her to bed (with the fond hope that she’ll have moved on to some new nonsense by tomorrow) and promised her I would write to you.

She wants to adopt river otters.


Your mother wants to adopt river otters. She needs something to cuddle. DearKidLoveMom.comYou heard me. River otters.

I blame her friend the internet.

And Empty Nest Syndrome.

Puppy: What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Dad: It means Mom doesn’t have anyone to take care of.
Puppy (confused): You’re here to take care of.
Dad: Yep.
Puppy (affronted): And I’M here to take care of!
Dad: Yep.
Puppy (genuinely perplexed): And the Dust Dragons are here to take care of.
Dad: Yep.
Puppy: And she still wants river otters?
Dad: No. She just wants to snuggle something baby-like.
Puppy: I’m the baby!
Dad: Confusing, isn’t it?
Puppy: My thinker hurts. I’m going to take a nap.

I understand how he feels. But I also know we are not getting otters.

Love, Mom Dad

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