Dear Kid,

Me: Do you have any homework?
Pi: Mom, I’m a second semester senior.
Me: Don’t say that!
Pi: What? That I’m a second semester senior?
Me: Exactly. Don’t say that.
Pi: Why?
Me: Because it upsets me.
Pi: But it’s true.
Me: Yes, but nowhere is it written that I have to face reality.
Puppy: What’s a second semester senior?
Pi: It means I’m going to graduate soon.
Me: Stop saying that.
Puppy: I graduated.
Pi: You went to exactly 6 classes.
Puppy: And I graduated.
Me: That was a long time ago. Do you really remember that?
Puppy: Of course not.
Me: So do you have any homework?
Pi: Mom, I’m a second semester senior!
Me: I don’t really see how that has anything to do with homework.
Pi: It doesn’t, but it’s really fun to see you freak out.

Me: Do you have any homework this weekend?
Pi: Mom, I’m a second semester senior!
Me: Child!
Pi: Yes, a little.
Puppy: I want a little homework, too.
Me: You do?
Pi: You do?
Puppy: If she gets homework, I want homework.
Me: I think that’s a great idea.
Pi: You do?
Puppy: You do?
Me: Yep. Your homework will be getting your nails cut.
Puppy: That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.
Me: It sounds like an excellent idea.
Puppy: Will you get out the Really Good Treats?
Me: Yes, baby. I will.
Pi: What about treats for me?
Me: You’re a second semester senior. Make your own treats.

Love, Mom

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