Dear Kid,

Me: Come here, baby.
Puppy: Nope. I’m not here.
Me: Where are you, sweetie?
Puppy: Forget it. I saw the towels and shampoo. Don’t like towels and shampoo.
Me: I have a special treat.
Puppy: No. No. No. N….wow, that smells good. Bad nose!
Me: Would you like a little taste?
Puppy: Well, of course I would. But I don’t want towels and shampooooooo that smells sooo good.
Me: Tastes good too.
Puppy: Betrayed by my nose.

 

Me: Okay, sweetness, up you go.
Puppy: I knew you were going to pick me up.
Me: And into the sink.
Puppy: Let’s skip this part.
Telephone: Brrrrrrrrringgg!
Me: Down you go.
Puppy: Saved by the bell!

Puppy: I’m wet. Me: And clean. Puppy: I’m really, really wet. Me: And really, really clean. Puppy: I smell like flowers. Me: Lovely. Puppy: Ridiculous. Me: OK. All done. Puppy: Now I have to go lick all my fur. Puppy Conversations. DearKidLoveMom.comMe: Let’s try this again. Into the sink with you.
Puppy: Where’s the phone? Make it ring again!
Me: I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Puppy: Who’s going to rescue me?
Me: Pretty sure you’ve used up your rescues. Into the bath with you.
Puppy: No rubber duckie?

 

Puppy: I’m wet.
Me: And clean.
Puppy: I’m really, really wet.
Me: And really, really clean. Turns out that fur is supposed to be white.
Puppy: I smell like flowers.
Me: Lovely.
Puppy: Ridiculous.
Me: OK. All done.
Puppy: Now I have to go lick all my fur.

 

Love, Mom

 

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