Dear Kid,
You’re about to graduate (yeah, still struggling with that).
And you’re about to be home for a while (not a struggle at all).
So it seems prudent to review the Rules of the House (these should not be a surprise).
- If you use it up, tell someone. Preferably someone with a piece of paper and a writing implement. Better yet, write it on the shopping list yourself.
- Don’t use up the last of the Diet Coke.
- Don’t use up the last of the coffee (with our stock that’s pretty much impossible).
- Try not to be too cheerful before I’ve had coffee.
- If you have the talent (and you do), you should play guitar and sing for your mother a few times before you disappear.
- The Puppy is the King of the House.
- As it turns out, Royalty doesn’t go on the furniture, is not allowed upstairs, and doesn’t get fed from the table just for looking pathetic.
- There is a whole list of foods His Furness can no longer have. This is not a suggestion.
- Being a member of the family means sometimes walking the Puppy. Which will make him very happy. Without fussing. Which will make everyone else very happy.
- If you’re the last one in at night, close the garage door. I’ve already had the great pleasure of being called at 2am by the police (who told me very kindly that the garage door was open and they would wait patiently at the foot of the driveway until I closed it). I prefer to meet the police during daylight hours.
- If you’re going to be late, let us know. We worry.
- You are perfectly capable of making your own breakfast, lunch, and snacks (in fact you’re a very good cook). You are also very good at cleaning up after you cook. Practice these skills in a reasonable ratio (and by “reasonable” I mean 1:1)
- Dishes go in the dishwasher. You know this. Act upon that knowledge.
- Clean dishwashers get emptied. Act upon this knowledge too.
- Clothing (both clean and dirty) should be stored somewhere other than the floor.
- Helping around the house is a right, a privilege, and a responsibility.
- You have the right to choose what is on the TV. Sometimes. Other people have this right too.
- Yes, we are happy to help you. That does not mean we are always available to help the very second you think about whatever-it-is.
- You have just finished exams, and graduation, and moving out, and you are doubtless exhausted. This entitles you to sleep and be slightly grumpy for a bit. That bit doesn’t last more than a couple of days.
- We love you. That’s the most important part.
It was a bit on the crazy side.
Me: Come on Sweetie, it’s time to go home.
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