Dear Kid,

Puppy: What are you doing?
Me: I was looking at things on my computer.
Puppy: Was?
Me: Now you’re in my way.
Puppy: We can watch together.
Me: That would be easier if you weren’t in my way.
Puppy: Not for me.

Puppy: So what are you looking at?
Me: Corgis.
Puppy: Am I a Corgi?
Me: You are not.
Puppy: How can you tell?
Me: Corgis have stumpy little legs.
Pi: He has stumpy little legs.
Puppy: I love my legs! They reach all the way to the ground!
Me: Corgis have ears that stick up.
Pi: Yep. Your ears definitely do not stick up, buster. You have very floppy ears.
Me: Corgi butts are called momos.
Puppy: What?
Pi: What? They have a special butt name? That’s ridiculous!
Puppy: I want a special butt name.
Kid: Your special butt name is butt-head.
Pi: Why do they have a special butt name?
Me: Momo means “peach” in Japanese. Apparently, Corgi butts look like peaches.

Everyone falls on the floor laughing at the idea of peach butts and furry Corgi peach butts.

Me: Corgis are herding dogs.
Puppy: What?
Pi: I heard you.
Puppy: I herd you.
Me: Because they are so low to the ground, Corgis would herd cattle by nipping at their ankles.
Puppy: It’s herdly surprising.
Everyone falls back to the floor making herd puns.

Me: When a Corgi flops on the floor, it’s not called flopping, it’s called “splooting.”

Everyone is laughing too hard to breathe.

Pi: I thought I herd you say splooting?!
Me: You did indeed.
Pi: I never knew Corgis were this funny.
Puppy: Sploot! Sploot!

Puppy: I think I look like the puppy in the picture. Maybe I really am a Corgi.
Pi: Your coloring is similar, but really you’re much more handsome.
Puppy: Oh. Well, that’s ok then.

Love, Mom

 
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