Dear Kid,
Puppy: ?
Puppy: ???
Pi: G’morning. Yawn.
Puppy: ?!!!
Pi: What’s wrong?
Puppy: Where’s my grass?
Pi: Your grass?
Puppy: I need my grass.
Pi: Tell me what happened.
Puppy: Mom and I went outside.
Pi: Uh-huh…
Puppy: And Mom started weeding and I started napping.
Pi: Which must have been very cute.
Puppy: I’m always cute
Pi: True. And I looked out the window and saw you napping near the blueberry bushes using the driveway as a pillow. That was especially cute.
Puppy: I am always especially cute.
Pi: Continue with the story.
Puppy: When I woke up, there was no grass!
Pi: There is still lots of grass.
Puppy: Not where Mom was weeding. It was like she peeled a banana!
Pi: A banana?
Puppy: Only just dirt. No banana.
Pi: We don’t grow many bananas around here.
Puppy: We don’t grow much grass around here anymore either.
Pi: What did Dad say?
Puppy: Something about if it makes her happy it makes him happy.
Pi: Wise man.
Puppy: And then he said, “But no flame throwers.” And Mom said she already thought of that but she didn’t want toasted blueberries.
Pi: You can toast blueberries?
Puppy: The way Mom was going, nothing was safe. Not even me!
Pi: What do you mean, not even you?
Puppy: What if Mom decides to weed me?
Pi: She might brush you, but she’s not going to weed you.
Puppy: Are you sure?
Pi: Quite.
Puppy: So what about my grass?
Pi: I think you’re going to have to make due with what’s left.
Puppy: Don’t you think she’ll rip out more?
Pi: Quite probably. But since she’s doing it by hand, it will be slow going.
Puppy: What does that mean?
Pi: It means the weeds will probably grow back in the first area before she finishes weeding the next area.
Puppy: Does “weeds” mean “grass”?
Pi: In this case, yes.
Puppy: Silly Mommy.
Pi: True. Would you like a snuggle?
Puppy: Does Mom weed?
Pi: Not very effectively. Come here you.
Love, Mom
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