Posts Tagged "puppy"

Puppy Conversations | Writing a Get Well Card

Dear Kid,

Puppy: What are you doing?
Me: Writing a “get well” card.
Puppy: Who’s building a well?
Me: In this case, it means I hope the person feels better.
Puppy: Does someone not feel well?
Me: Yes.
Puppy: So you’re telling him to get better?
Me: Sort of.
Puppy: Because you’re a Mommy and we have to do what Mommy says.
Me: Well, I’m not HIS mommy.
Puppy: Did you tell him to take naps and drink lots of water?
Me: No, I didn’t.
Puppy: Did you tell him to eat chicken soup?
Me: Um, no.
Puppy: Did you check to see if he has a wet nose?
Me: I definitely did not do that.
Puppy: Doesn’t sound like you’re doing a very good job of telling him to get better.
Me: Sometimes we just have to send love and hope that someone gets better.
Puppy: But that can’t be right. We have to do something!
Me: What would you suggest?
Puppy: He probably needs his tummy scratched.
Me: I think I’m going to stick with sending a card.
Puppy: You need to practice helping people feel better.
Me: Can you say, “We hope you feel better soon”?
Puppy: Woof!
Me: Now it’s “woof”? You are a very strange beast.
Puppy: “Woof” might make him feel better. Especially if you won’t scratch his tummy.

Love, Mom

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Puppy Invents New Game to Amuse Mom

Dear Kid,

I'll be right back...but there's important sniffing to do! DearKidLoveMom.comThe Puppy has created a new game called Get Mom to Get Up and Move.

That’s not what it’s called.

We were outside weeding. Well, I was weeding and he was sniffing weeds. Let’s call the spot where I was sitting Point A.

That’s a dumb name for a pile of mulch.

The Puppy started wandering East of Point A.

I was following my nose!

When he got to the edge of our property, I called for him to come back. He ignored me and kept slowly wandering toward the east.

I was following my nose, not my ears.

I got up, pushed my way through the bushes that he’s small enough to walk under, grabbed his leash, and led him back to Point A.

After a moment or two, he began to wander in southerly direction.

Important sniffing had to be done.

I kept an eye on him, but when he reached our property line, I told him to wait for me.

My tail tried to wait for you.

His tail may have wanted to wait, but clearly his nose was in control and he continued to meander while I got up and fetched him back.

We had an important talk about staying on our side of the invisible lines.

The squirrels don’t have to!

No sooner had we finished our talk than he began to wander West.

I wanted to see what was over there today.

Rinse and repeat. If he could have figured out how to wander up, I’m sure he’d have done that too.

All in all, it was hard to get much weeding done….

Eventually, the Puppy gave up, flopped in the sun, and contented himself with letting his thoughts wander.

Love, Mom

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Selective Hearing | Everything Old Is New Again

Dear Kid,

Having one of those “Well, duh” moments.

There’s a video making the rounds on the ‘net (you can watch it here if you really want to) that proves that dogs have selective hearing.

Well, duh.

We (and by “we” I mean all cat parents, most dog parents, and many children parents—possibly hippo parents and giraffe parents too but I can’t be sure) see this EVERY STINKIN’ DAY.

Human: Come here. Cat: As if. DearKidLoveMom.comParent: Come here
Cat blinks.

Parent: Come here
Dog continues sniffing.

Parent: Come here
Child continues building Leggos.

Parent (whispering): …treat…
Everyone races to be the first (or second) to get the treat. Except the cat who saunters nonchalantly over but has plans to kill anyone who takes the cat treat.

This is not new news.

Parent says: Clean up your room, wash your face, then we’ll go shopping for school supplies.
Child hears: Let me grab my purse, a snack for you, and the car keys and we’ll go buy Star Wars Leggos.

Again. Nothing new.

Sometimes we hear the greatest new things on the internet.

Sometimes everything old is new again (extra points if you get the reference).

Love, Mom

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The Puppy and The Pillow

Dear Kid,

About a zillion years ago, I found a big piece of fabric with a blue background and a football team logo all over it. I sewed up the sides, stuffed it, and turned it into an enormous pillow for your room.

Since it was not the logo of a team that offended your sensibilities, and since it was big, and most importantly it was football (although hockey would have been better, Mom), you were quite happy to have it.

It lived as part of the background of your room for a long time.

But while the logo didn’t offend your sensibilities (hockey really would have been better, Mom) neither were you at all interested in that particular football organization, and the pillow drifted. It drifted so far that eventually it fell off your bed and took up permanent residence on the floor.

There it lay for several years, until I finally decided that someone with four legs would probably enjoy it more than the floor.

So I brought it downstairs, covered it with towels (just in case the team offended the Puppy’s sensibilities), and presented his Furriness with an alternative napping spot.

The Puppy LOVES his big pillow. It may be his favorite place to nap. If not his fave, then certainly in the top three. Apparently, he just doesn’t care all that much about football logos (I’m sure he agrees that hockey really, really would have been better).

Somewhere along the way, one of the seams gave out. The Puppy (of course) saw this as an excellent opportunity to liberate some of the stuffing. I shoved the stuffing back in the pillow, turned the pillow so that the hole was against the wall (harder to remember to pull the stuffing out when you can’t see it), and promised myself that – at my earliest opportunity – I would repair the rip.

Fast forward approximately 17 months. Yesterday was “my earliest opportunity.” I know, because I actually fixed the pillow yesterday.

Not only was the seam ripped, but part of the fabric was ripped too. There was no way to perform elegant plastic surgery. This was meatball surgery (extra points if you get the reference) at best.

So I sat on the floor with the big blue pillow and began to pin and stitch. The Puppy was not amused at having his Favorite Place taken away and stalked off, making it a point to ignore me. I made it a point not to notice him ignoring me.

About halfway through the repair job, I went to the kitchen to refill my BOC (beverage of choice—Diet Coke). When I came back, who do you think had figured out how to climb onto the pillow, curl up, and pretend to be asleep?

Dad wanted to “cause an earthquake” and dislodge the baby from the pillow. I vetoed the idea.

Instead, I lovingly scooped him off the pillow and into my lap, thoroughly expecting to be given the evil eye and abandoned.

Just when you think you know how they’re going to behave…

The baby blinked up at me sleepily, snuggled down, and remained on my lap. I thought maybe he wanted to be near his pillow while it was in “the hospital.”

Have you ever tried to thread a needle when a 20 pound dog is sleeping with his oversized head in the crook of your arm? Not easy, my friend, not easy.

I pulled the pillow over, somehow threaded the needle, and resumed working. Get the visual: Puppy in my lap, mostly curled up with his head in the crook of my left arm; pillow that is 5 times bigger than he is pulled up so that it is almost covering him like a blanket; me trying to sew.

And then – just as I was considering asking him to nap elsewhere – he began to snore. Tiny, baby, I’m-so-happy-with-the-world snores.

By the time I finished the pillow, my arm was beginning to cramp from holding his head and my right leg had fallen asleep.

It’s been a long time since I was that happy to be that uncomfortable.

Love, Mom

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News from the Neighborhood 7:03am

Dear Kid,

While most of the neighborhood was still sleeping, the Puppy and I went for a walk this morning.

You may ask, “What the heck were you doing up at an hour when everyone was sleeping?” Good question since I’d told Dad he couldn’t wake me until 9am (which I thought was a Very Generous Compromise).

The answer is I have no freakin’ idea.

My eyelids sprang open of their own accord this morning. I tried to close them; they refused. I tried to go back to sleep with my eyes open; it didn’t really work.

So I got up.

This pleased the Puppy greatly and we agreed that—after a cuddle—we should go for our morning meander.

The big white dog who rules his side of the fence with an iron bark was still inside (and presumably asleep because we didn’t hear him).

Cobra’s family was up (we could tell because the garage door was open) but even after several minutes of puppy whining Cobra himself was nowhere to be seen.

Roxie’s family was getting ready for another garage sale. They’ve been helping a woman they know clean out her house after her husband died. Roxie’s dad says he feels like he’s in a TV commercial. Every time he thinks he’s done, the woman calls and says, “But wait, there’s more!” and gives him enough stuff for 7 more garage sales. I think he’s truly happy to help but truly done with garage-sale-ness. Roxie was inside, so the Puppy settled for sniffing everything within leash range and graciously allowing (and by “allowing” I mean insisting) that people scratch him.

The big activity this morning is that we are going to have a Vexit. That is, the vine (I'm guessing poison oak) that has now caused poison-ivy-like welts on my face for two summers in a row is being evicted. Well, murdered is more like it. We plan to spray it so it dies down to its roots. DearKidLoveMom.comThe big activity this morning is that we are going to have a Vexit. That is, the vine (I’m guessing poison oak) that has now caused poison-ivy-like welts on my face for two summers in a row is being evicted. Well, murdered is more like it. We plan to spray it so it dies down to its roots. (And as I say “we” and not “me” you are correct to infer that your father is actually helping to spray something dead. Shocking but true. I think it has something to do with the threats I made and the constant whining about the itch. And perhaps looking at a wife with face-bumps.)

Hope you have a great day today!

Love, Mom

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