Puppy

July 22, 2016

Puppy Invents New Game to Amuse Mom

Dear Kid,

I'll be right back...but there's important sniffing to do! DearKidLoveMom.comThe Puppy has created a new game called Get Mom to Get Up and Move.

That’s not what it’s called.

We were outside weeding. Well, I was weeding and he was sniffing weeds. Let’s call the spot where I was sitting Point A.

That’s a dumb name for a pile of mulch.

The Puppy started wandering East of Point A.

I was following my nose!

When he got to the edge of our property, I called for him to come back. He ignored me and kept slowly wandering toward the east.

I was following my nose, not my ears.

I got up, pushed my way through the bushes that he’s small enough to walk under, grabbed his leash, and led him back to Point A.

After a moment or two, he began to wander in southerly direction.

Important sniffing had to be done.

I kept an eye on him, but when he reached our property line, I told him to wait for me.

My tail tried to wait for you.

His tail may have wanted to wait, but clearly his nose was in control and he continued to meander while I got up and fetched him back.

We had an important talk about staying on our side of the invisible lines.

The squirrels don’t have to!

No sooner had we finished our talk than he began to wander West.

I wanted to see what was over there today.

Rinse and repeat. If he could have figured out how to wander up, I’m sure he’d have done that too.

All in all, it was hard to get much weeding done….

Eventually, the Puppy gave up, flopped in the sun, and contented himself with letting his thoughts wander.

Love, Mom

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July 18, 2016

Selective Hearing | Everything Old Is New Again

Dear Kid,

Having one of those “Well, duh” moments.

There’s a video making the rounds on the ‘net (you can watch it here if you really want to) that proves that dogs have selective hearing.

Well, duh.

We (and by “we” I mean all cat parents, most dog parents, and many children parents—possibly hippo parents and giraffe parents too but I can’t be sure) see this EVERY STINKIN’ DAY.

Human: Come here. Cat: As if. DearKidLoveMom.comParent: Come here
Cat blinks.

Parent: Come here
Dog continues sniffing.

Parent: Come here
Child continues building Leggos.

Parent (whispering): …treat…
Everyone races to be the first (or second) to get the treat. Except the cat who saunters nonchalantly over but has plans to kill anyone who takes the cat treat.

This is not new news.

Parent says: Clean up your room, wash your face, then we’ll go shopping for school supplies.
Child hears: Let me grab my purse, a snack for you, and the car keys and we’ll go buy Star Wars Leggos.

Again. Nothing new.

Sometimes we hear the greatest new things on the internet.

Sometimes everything old is new again (extra points if you get the reference).

Love, Mom

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July 10, 2016

Nighttime Gardening, Fighting the Weeds, and Agreeing on Who Makes the Rules

Dear Kid,

What a lovely weekend we’ve had so far.

First we visited you, YAY!

Yesterday, we did a lot of gardening. The never-ending weed pit we call our entire property gives us plenty of time to spend together.

Last night we were going to go to an event at the Observatory but Dad decided the cloud cover would make it difficult to see things which would annoy me and frustrate him. Unless it would frustrate me and annoy him. Anyway we didn’t go.

Instead we decided to do some nighttime gardening. Weeding by firefly light. Someone (me) thought it would be a good idea. Someone (Dad) thought we should wear long sleeves and long pants. Someone (me) agreed to wear jeans but absolutely refused to wear a long-sleeve shirt in 90 degree heat with 90% humidity.

Someone (Dad) suggested he married someone who was silly and stubborn. Someone (me) didn’t disagree and compromised by putting on bug repellent. Out we went.

Someone (the Puppy) patrolled the area, decided it was safe, and assumed guard position by curling up in the mulch and going to sleep. Never seen him sleep in mulch before. He actually slept for a bit, got up, turned around, rearranged the mulch to his satisfaction, and went back to sleep. Dad tried to take a picture but the pre-flash kept waking the Puppy up. Imagine him with his head tucked under his wing and little baby snores floating around his head.

Eventually it got too dark to see what we were doing so we went in. Someone (me) of course had been thoroughly munched. Someone (Dad) suggested long-sleeves might be in order in the future. Someone (me) pointed out that it wouldn’t have prevented the bite I got on my face and if he didn’t stop talking and start helping with the hydrocortisone there would be bigger problems than bug bites. Someone (Dad) compromised by lecturing while he helped with the hydrocortisone. Someone (me) very maturely thanked him while ignoring the lecture.

Someone (Dad) asked if I planned to wear long-sleeves in the future. Someone (me) suggested he was out of his mind for even thinking such a thing.

Someone (Dad) has perfected his long-suffering sigh. He’s currently online, buying stock in whatever pharmaceutical company manufactures hydrocortisone.

Love, Mom

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July 5, 2016

The Puppy and The Pillow

Dear Kid,

About a zillion years ago, I found a big piece of fabric with a blue background and a football team logo all over it. I sewed up the sides, stuffed it, and turned it into an enormous pillow for your room.

Since it was not the logo of a team that offended your sensibilities, and since it was big, and most importantly it was football (although hockey would have been better, Mom), you were quite happy to have it.

It lived as part of the background of your room for a long time.

But while the logo didn’t offend your sensibilities (hockey really would have been better, Mom) neither were you at all interested in that particular football organization, and the pillow drifted. It drifted so far that eventually it fell off your bed and took up permanent residence on the floor.

There it lay for several years, until I finally decided that someone with four legs would probably enjoy it more than the floor.

So I brought it downstairs, covered it with towels (just in case the team offended the Puppy’s sensibilities), and presented his Furriness with an alternative napping spot.

The Puppy LOVES his big pillow. It may be his favorite place to nap. If not his fave, then certainly in the top three. Apparently, he just doesn’t care all that much about football logos (I’m sure he agrees that hockey really, really would have been better).

Somewhere along the way, one of the seams gave out. The Puppy (of course) saw this as an excellent opportunity to liberate some of the stuffing. I shoved the stuffing back in the pillow, turned the pillow so that the hole was against the wall (harder to remember to pull the stuffing out when you can’t see it), and promised myself that – at my earliest opportunity – I would repair the rip.

Fast forward approximately 17 months. Yesterday was “my earliest opportunity.” I know, because I actually fixed the pillow yesterday.

Not only was the seam ripped, but part of the fabric was ripped too. There was no way to perform elegant plastic surgery. This was meatball surgery (extra points if you get the reference) at best.

So I sat on the floor with the big blue pillow and began to pin and stitch. The Puppy was not amused at having his Favorite Place taken away and stalked off, making it a point to ignore me. I made it a point not to notice him ignoring me.

About halfway through the repair job, I went to the kitchen to refill my BOC (beverage of choice—Diet Coke). When I came back, who do you think had figured out how to climb onto the pillow, curl up, and pretend to be asleep?

Dad wanted to “cause an earthquake” and dislodge the baby from the pillow. I vetoed the idea.

Instead, I lovingly scooped him off the pillow and into my lap, thoroughly expecting to be given the evil eye and abandoned.

Just when you think you know how they’re going to behave…

The baby blinked up at me sleepily, snuggled down, and remained on my lap. I thought maybe he wanted to be near his pillow while it was in “the hospital.”

Have you ever tried to thread a needle when a 20 pound dog is sleeping with his oversized head in the crook of your arm? Not easy, my friend, not easy.

I pulled the pillow over, somehow threaded the needle, and resumed working. Get the visual: Puppy in my lap, mostly curled up with his head in the crook of my left arm; pillow that is 5 times bigger than he is pulled up so that it is almost covering him like a blanket; me trying to sew.

And then – just as I was considering asking him to nap elsewhere – he began to snore. Tiny, baby, I’m-so-happy-with-the-world snores.

By the time I finished the pillow, my arm was beginning to cramp from holding his head and my right leg had fallen asleep.

It’s been a long time since I was that happy to be that uncomfortable.

Love, Mom

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July 2, 2016

Can I Get an Awwwww…

Dear Kid,

TwoLittleBoys have moved in across the street. Their parents have moved in with them, but they are peripheral to the story. It’s the TwoLittleBoys who are important (as little boys often are).

The Puppy is delighted and half in love with the TwoLittleBoys. I think it has something to do with them being about his size. And that they think he is marvelous since they don’t have a dog of their own. (Can I get an Awwwww.)

This morning, Dad and the Puppy went across the street where the whole family was busy working on landscaping. The landscaping drew Dad; the leash and the TwoLittleBoys drew the Puppy.

By the time I fell out of bed and thudded downstairs for coffee, Dad was preaching about bushes and the TwoLittleBoys were treating the Puppy like the royalty he is.

I took my coffee outside and sat on the front porch. Dad was the first to notice me, and he came home to sit with me and say good morning. (There are a lot of opportunities for you to say “Awwww” in this story). The boys went into their house to fetch the Puppy a dish of water. Without his adoring audience to distract him, the Puppy began to sniff around.

He (the Puppy) realized I was outside and began to trot home. The DadAcrossTheStreet realized what was going on and lunged for the leash as a car came roaring around the curve. Collision avoided. Car went on its way (with more than one dirty look floating along after it), Puppy pulled on the leash and came barreling over to say good morning and tell me about TwoLittleBoys.

Meanwhile, the TwoLittleBoys had fetched their bowl of water and carefully carried it outside. Dad let the Puppy say good morning to me and then took our baby back to the TwoLittleBoys so he could partake of their offering.

Everyone was ecstatic. Squealing and petting ensued.

Later, after the Puppy came home to take his rightful place napping in the sun and Dad and I were weeding (Part 9,873), I caught Dad staring across the street.

The DadAcrossTheStreet was sitting with one of the TwoLittleBoys and they were weeding. Or co-weeding. It was adorable. Dad was obviously remembering you at that age.

Can I get an Awwww…

Love, Mom

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June 30, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Baby Shower

Dear Kid,

Puppy: Where are you going?
Me: To a party.
Puppy: I want to go to a party.
Me: You weren’t invited.
Puppy: That can’t be right.
Me: Odd, isn’t it?
Puppy: What kind of a party?
Me: A baby shower.
Puppy: I’m a baby.
Me: And still, not invited.
Puppy: Do babies take showers?
Me: We’re going to shower the Mommy with presents and love.
Puppy: I like presents and love.
Me: And still, not invited.
Puppy: So you’re getting presents and love?
Me: No, Laura is getting presents and love.
Puppy: But you’re a Mommy.
Me: Yes, but now it’s her turn to be a Mommy.
Puppy: You take turns being my Mommy?!
Me: She’ll be somebody else’s Mommy.
Puppy: Does she like Puppies?
Me: She loves puppies.
Puppy: So I should go.
Me: And still, not invited.
Puppy: I’m going to sulk while I take a nap.
Me: See you later, sweetie.

Puppy: You’re home! You’re home!
Me: Hello, sweetie. Were you a good boy while I was gone?
Puppy: You were gone?
Me: Yes, I just got home.
Puppy: When was that?
Me: Just a minute ago.
Puppy: But you’re here now.
Me: Right.
Puppy: And that is so exciting!
Me: I’m glad to see you too.
Puppy: I think we should snuggle.
Me: I was hoping you’d think that.

Love, Mom

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