Puppy

October 4, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Puppy Visits Grandma and Grandpa

Dear Kid,

Puppy Conversations. DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsPuppy: Grandpa! It was horrible!
Grandpa: Oh, dear. Would you like to tell me about it?
Puppy: Of course. That’s why I’m sitting in your lap.
Grandpa: What happened?
Puppy: First there was a bath.
Grandpa: And you don’t like baths.
Puppy: I was very, very wet.
Grandpa: Would you like to know a secret?
Puppy: What?
Grandpa: I took a shower today too.
Puppy: Mommy put you in the sink?!
Grandpa: Not exactly.

 

Puppy: Grandma! I came to visit you!
Grandma: I’m so glad you’re here.
Puppy: Where are the treats?
Grandma: Treats?
Puppy: Grandmas are supposed to have treats.
Grandma: You’ll have to talk to your Mommy about that.
Puppy: What?! This is very disappointing.
Grandma: Sorry to disappoint you.
Puppy: It would be less disappointing if you scratch. Right. There.

 

Puppy: There was peanut butter this morning.
Grandpa: I thought you like peanut butter.
Puppy: I LOVE peanut butter.
Grandpa: I think I’m missing something.
Puppy: There was medicine in the peanut butter.
Grandpa: Did you take your medicine?
Puppy: Well, it was peanut butter.
Grandpa: You’re a good boy.

 

Puppy: Then we went for a ride in the car.
Grandpa: You like the car.
Puppy: And it was a really, really long drive.
Grandpa: But you like to be in the car.
Puppy: At first there wasn’t any sleep in the car.
Grandpa: Did you want to sleep?
Puppy: I had a very important job looking out the window.
Grandpa: And then what happened?
Puppy: I slept.
Grandpa: Is that bad?
Puppy: I don’t know. I was asleep.
Grandpa: And now you’re here.
Puppy: I like that part.
Grandpa: And we like having you here.
Puppy: Will you scratch my tummy?
Grandpa: I think we can arrange that.
Puppy: Happy me.

Me: Come on, Puppy, time to go home.
Puppy: What? This is terrible.
Grandpa: But you like home.
Puppy: But now I like here.
Grandma: Maybe you’ll come to visit again sometime.
Puppy: But I don’t want to leave you. I just got used to being here.
Grandpa: What if you tell us all about the trip when you get home.
Puppy: I can do that?
Grandma: Certainly. We love to hear about your adventures.
Puppy: That might be OK.
Me: Into the car, please.
Puppy: I have a job.
Me: You do?
Puppy: To tell Grandma and Grandpa all about our trip.
Me: That sounds very important.
Dad: What if you fall asleep?
Puppy: I didn’t think of that! Whaaat am I going to dooooooo?
Me (to Dad): You have a big mouth.
Grandpa: Have a good trip!
Grandma: Thank you for visiting. Travel safe.
Puppy: Have to stay awake. Have to stay awake. Have to zzzz….

Love, Mom

 

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September 7, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Bath versus Phone (Saved by the Bell)

Dear Kid,

Me: Come here, baby.
Puppy: Nope. I’m not here.
Me: Where are you, sweetie?
Puppy: Forget it. I saw the towels and shampoo. Don’t like towels and shampoo.
Me: I have a special treat.
Puppy: No. No. No. N….wow, that smells good. Bad nose!
Me: Would you like a little taste?
Puppy: Well, of course I would. But I don’t want towels and shampooooooo that smells sooo good.
Me: Tastes good too.
Puppy: Betrayed by my nose.

 

Me: Okay, sweetness, up you go.
Puppy: I knew you were going to pick me up.
Me: And into the sink.
Puppy: Let’s skip this part.
Telephone: Brrrrrrrrringgg!
Me: Down you go.
Puppy: Saved by the bell!

Puppy: I’m wet. Me: And clean. Puppy: I’m really, really wet. Me: And really, really clean. Puppy: I smell like flowers. Me: Lovely. Puppy: Ridiculous. Me: OK. All done. Puppy: Now I have to go lick all my fur. Puppy Conversations. DearKidLoveMom.comMe: Let’s try this again. Into the sink with you.
Puppy: Where’s the phone? Make it ring again!
Me: I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Puppy: Who’s going to rescue me?
Me: Pretty sure you’ve used up your rescues. Into the bath with you.
Puppy: No rubber duckie?

 

Puppy: I’m wet.
Me: And clean.
Puppy: I’m really, really wet.
Me: And really, really clean. Turns out that fur is supposed to be white.
Puppy: I smell like flowers.
Me: Lovely.
Puppy: Ridiculous.
Me: OK. All done.
Puppy: Now I have to go lick all my fur.

 

Love, Mom

 

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August 29, 2016

Puppy Conversations | The Rain in Spain (and Thunder)

Dear Kid,

Puppy: MOM!
Me: What honey?
Puppy: The World is Ending!
Me: What?
Puppy: This "thunder" thing is very scary! DearKidLoveMom.comPuppy: The World is Ending! It’s terrifying! Don’t you hear it?
Me: The thunder?
Puppy: If “thunder” means the world is ending! Danger! Catastrophe!
Me: Come here sweetie
Puppy: This is very scary!!!
Me: Maybe it would be better if you stop running around?
Puppy: My tummy is shaking! This is very bad! The World is Ending!
Me: Stop trying to dig under the carpet, please.
Puppy: We have to save the World!
Me: The thunder will be over very soon.
Puppy: I don’t like this thunder thing.

Love, Mom

 

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August 14, 2016

And Reality Begins to Set In

Dear Kid,

countdown to college move in 3“Who wants to help me make cookies and then go for a long walk?” your sister asked.

Not a completely unreasonable suggestion (for it was more suggestion than question). Except that it was already 9:15pm when she asked.

In between watching the Olympic races (mostly swimming at that hour), Dad and Pi baked 4,892 chocolate chip cookies. Dad announced every few seconds that this was the first time he’d ever made cookies from scratch. It was kind of a sport in and of itself: mix cookie dough, race back into the family room to catch up on the Olympics, race back to the kitchen before the dough is overmixed, yell to find out who the announcers are talking about, scoot the cookies in the oven, pray that the next race will end prior to the timer going off. You get the picture.

By the time Pi and I set off for a walk it was next Tuesday. Who goes for a walk at 11pm? Your sister that’s who. Who thinks it’s a good idea to go for a walk at 11pm when it’s raining and the humidity is about a zillion percent? Your sister that’s who. And who accompanies her? You got it on the first guess.

We had took the Puppy with us on the first lap, but then he was smart enough to want to go inside where it was dry, there was a comfy pillow to sleep on, and someone might be talked into giving him a treat.

Pi and I and our umbrellas continued to walk. Our Fitbits appreciated it. We also got a bit of time to catch up which is always nice and frequently entertaining.

Today’s plan (if she ever decides to wake up) is a mad dash to get her ready for college.

Yikes! My baby goes to college this week.

I’d best go lie down for a bit.

Love, Mom

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August 12, 2016

Puppy Conversations | The Toys Get Washed

Dear Kid,

Puppy: Mom! Mom! We have a thief in the house! Alert the constabulary!
Me: What are you talking about?
Puppy: My toys have been stolen!
Me: Don’t be silly. I took them.
Puppy: My toy bin has been stolen!
Me: I took that too.
Puppy: You’re a thief?
Me: No, I took them to wash them.
Puppy: To what?
Me: They needed to be cleaned.
Puppy: It’s even worse than I thought….you washed them?
Me: Yep.
Puppy: Give them back!
Me: They aren’t dry yet.
Puppy: The world is ending.

 

Puppy: I’m not playing with it. You can’t kill a purse. DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsPuppy: What. Is. This?
Me: It’s a new toy.
Puppy: I don’t want a new toy. I want my toys.
Me: Your toys are being washed. This is new.
Puppy: No.

 

Puppy: What is this supposed to be?
Me: It’s a toy.
Puppy: Of course it’s a toy. What kind of toy?
Me: It’s a purse.
Pi: Well, it’s more of a murse because he’s a boy.
Me: Would that make it a burse?
Puppy: I’m a puppy!
Pi: Purse it is.
Puppy: I’m not playing with it. You can’t kill a purse.

 

Puppy: Of course not. Now leave me alone. I have to rip out the squeaker and kill it. DearKidLoveMom.com/PuppyConversationsMe: Well, look at that, you’re playing with your new toy!
Puppy: I’ve decided to forgive you.
Me: That’s very gracious of you.
Pi: This wouldn’t have anything to do with finding a squeaker in there, would it?
Puppy: Of course not. Now leave me alone. I have to rip out the squeaker and kill it.

 

Love, Mom

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July 29, 2016

Puppy Conversations | Writing a Get Well Card

Dear Kid,

Puppy: What are you doing?
Me: Writing a “get well” card.
Puppy: Who’s building a well?
Me: In this case, it means I hope the person feels better.
Puppy: Does someone not feel well?
Me: Yes.
Puppy: So you’re telling him to get better?
Me: Sort of.
Puppy: Because you’re a Mommy and we have to do what Mommy says.
Me: Well, I’m not HIS mommy.
Puppy: Did you tell him to take naps and drink lots of water?
Me: No, I didn’t.
Puppy: Did you tell him to eat chicken soup?
Me: Um, no.
Puppy: Did you check to see if he has a wet nose?
Me: I definitely did not do that.
Puppy: Doesn’t sound like you’re doing a very good job of telling him to get better.
Me: Sometimes we just have to send love and hope that someone gets better.
Puppy: But that can’t be right. We have to do something!
Me: What would you suggest?
Puppy: He probably needs his tummy scratched.
Me: I think I’m going to stick with sending a card.
Puppy: You need to practice helping people feel better.
Me: Can you say, “We hope you feel better soon”?
Puppy: Woof!
Me: Now it’s “woof”? You are a very strange beast.
Puppy: “Woof” might make him feel better. Especially if you won’t scratch his tummy.

Love, Mom

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