Dear Kid,

Puppy: Mom. We need to talk.
Me: Please. Go right ahead.
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You what?
Puppy: I need a pet.
Me: You are a pet.
Puppy: Don’t be silly. I are a people.
Me: So explain this pet thing to me.
Puppy: Did you see the video of all the animals snuggling?
Me: Yes.
Puppy: I think we should get some.
Me: Some?!
Puppy: Well, you have to have two to snuggle. You and me. They and them.
Me: What kind of pet were you thinking about?
Puppy: There are different kinds?
Me: Lots of different kinds.
Puppy: We should get a good kind.
Me: You know pets are a lot of work, don’t you?
Puppy: What do you mean “work”?
Me: You have to take care of a pet. You have to walk them and feed them and brush them and all sorts of things.
Puppy: No problem. You’re very good at those things.
Me: Thank you, but you may have missed the point.
Puppy: So when are we getting me a pet?

Love, Mom

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