We seem to be having a small problem.
Someone (or something) seems to be causing a disturbance in the Force. Maybe a better way to say it is that a force is causing a disturbance.
The Puppy has been farting a little.
And since it is a very long way from his teeny, tiny brain (which is generally asleep) to his posterior (which is generally only pretending to sleep), he is quite affronted, startled, and offended every time his hindquarters sneak up and wake him.
To add insult to injury, once he jerks awake, he can never seem to find the culprit. The source of the noise vanishes quite as quickly as it, um, appeared.
A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot;
Said the two to the tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
Let me paint the picture. There he is, curled up asleep on his pillow. Sometimes even snoring gently. The whole world is calm and peaceful. Then
<toot>
Instantly awake, The Puppy leaps about 7 feet into the air, whirling around to see who snuck up behind him. Unable to identify the perpetrator, he trots over to where I’m sitting on the couch pretending that he’s been far away from his pillow the entire night.
Meanwhile, Pi is laughing so hard she can’t breathe which offends The Puppy even further so he decides to go sleep in the dining room where there might not be any felonious activity.
I’ve tried to explain normal bodily functions to him, but he doesn’t believe me.
Yesterday was the first annual Paws in the Park event.
You can tell it was the first annual because A) it’s never been done before and B) lots of people say it will be held again next year.
The particular park in question was Summit Park, the new park in Blue Ash where the airport used to be. Much of the park is still under construction (some of the plans are still under discussion as we found out when we asked about the expansion of the dog park part) but the entrance and the main lawn (where the event was) are beautiful.
Mid-afternoon, Pi, the Puppy, and I headed over.
Puppy: It was very nice of me to take you
Me: What?
Puppy: I’m the one with paws
Me: I’m the one with car keys and the other end of the leash
First we wandered around the booths (vendors of dog related things). Then we went to the area where dogs could compete in various activities. The Puppy and I competed in an event called “Round the Bases”. Inside the ring there were 4 big pieces of posterboard laid out like a baseball diamond. The dog’s job was to sit at the first one, wait until the person ran to the second one, run to the second and sit. Rinse and repeat all the way around.
Puppy: And I won
Me: We won
Puppy: I had the hard part
Pi: You were only competing against one other dog
Puppy: I paid attention
Pi: You do realize you cheated a little?
Me: The referee didn’t call it, so it counts as a win
Pi and I sat on the swings and the Puppy introduced himself to one of the firefighters. The swings at the park are brilliant. They are great big bench swings (think front porch swing not little kid swing) on both sides of the main lawn. In a nod to the park’s history, there are quotes from the Wright brothers about being free in the air.
Once the Puppy and the firefighter were done with their mutual admiration, we went over to watch the K9 demo. Rather intimidating in a good sort of way.
Then on to the dock jumping area. The organizers had set up a huge pool with a runway for dogs to compete in jumping contests. The Puppy was quite happy to continue meeting his adoring public and not bothering to be impressed with dogs crazy enough to want to jump into the water. The rest of us were quite impressed with canine athletes flying through the air for 20 to 30 feet before splash down.
In this particular competition they were measuring the landing spot based on where the dog’s tail connects to his or her body. Presumably this made for a level playing field pool for larger and smaller dogs.
The cutest dogs were the ones who weren’t at all sure about leaping off the end of the dock. One dog raced up to the edge, came to a screeching halt using his toenails to grab onto the astroturf with all his might, and proceeded to have an internal conversation (you could see it on his face) about whether he actually wanted to jump. He did. Distance of 2 feet 6 inches. Adorable.
The wonderful Girlfriendology took a break from painting her new home to join us for a while. Our Puppy decided to give her dog a hard time. Let me set the stage. The two of them go back several years, so this is not the first time they’ve met. Brando is a gorgeous retriever of large size and calm disposition. Puppy is a small dog of sweet but demanding attention disposition. The Puppy kept poking Brando with his nose. Brando kept looking at the Puppy like he was an annoying little pest (which he was). Poke, disdain, poke.
The funny part was that with all the zillion other dogs there, the Puppy only wanted a quick sniff and to move on to adoration from people. With Brando, he had an entirely different agenda. Silly baby.
We had a very tired Puppy by the end of the day.
Puppy: Mom
Me: Yes, sweetie
Puppy: Do you know what today is?
Me: Wednesday?
Puppy: No
Me: Yes, it is definitely Wednesday
Puppy: It’s National Dog Day
Me: It is?
Puppy: Most assuredly
Me: It’s also Wednesday
Puppy: Pay attention
Me: Of course. Should we talk about National Dog Day?
Puppy: Do you know what National Dog Day is about?
Me: The dog days of summer?
Puppy: No
Me: Doggie bags?
Puppy: No. Wait, dogs have bags? What are you talking about?
Me: National Dog Day is about working dogs and rescue dogs
Puppy: Yes. How did you know?
Me: I read the same posting you did
Puppy: But it’s still important
Me: Absolutely
Puppy: I am a working dog
Me: You are most assuredly NOT a working dog
Puppy: I’m not?
Me: No. Working dogs do things like guide blind people, and sniff for bombs, and rescue people. You sniff for fun and nap.
Puppy: I do important sniffing!
Me: But National Dog Day is about more than working dogs
Puppy: It’s about treats!
Me: It’s about rescue dogs
Puppy: And I rescued a dog?
Me: You are a rescue dog
Puppy: So National Dog Day is about me
Me: It’s about all dogs
Puppy: Which means I should get a treat
Me: You have very interesting logic
Puppy: Can I have a bag too?
Me: A bag?
Puppy: You said doggies get bags
Me: I love you, baby
Puppy: Love you too Mom
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Today is Work Like a Dog Day. Presumably this is to honor people who work super hard.
I think we’ve got the phrase all wrong.
So I consulted my local canine expert, the Puppy himself.
Puppy: Napping
Me: I have questions
Puppy: Napping
Me: But you’re an expert
Puppy: Napping
Me: What if I have treats?
Puppy: Awake. Do you have treats?
Me: No, you’ve had enough treats. Now can I ask my questions?
Puppy: Napping
Working dogs work very hard and are (generally) really good at their jobs. Have you seen the video of the KLM dog returning lost items to their owners? Prepare to be overwhelmed with cuteness.
I am crazy impressed and in love with working dogs. From bomb and drug sniffing dogs to guide dogs to rescue dogs to herding dogs to assistance dogs, I think they are fantastic and the people who train them are heroes.
Our dog just happens to not be a working dog except under the most extreme circumstances. And by extreme circumstances I mean if there is food or cuddling involved.
True working dogs work very hard. The rest of the canine population not so much.
So when you say “work like a dog” it’s a little unclear which kind of pooch you’re referring to.
Which means no matter what you do, you might be working like a dog.
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