Dear Kid,
When I got home last night, I said hi to Dad, and hi to the Puppy, and “What did This Dog roll in?”
Dad: He’s stinky?
Me: No…
Dad: How do you know he rolled in something?
Me: He’s. Filthy.
Dad: Really? I didn’t notice
Me: Our dog is tan and white. This animal, who has the general shape and attitude of our Puppy, is black and grey. How did you not notice?
Dad: I just didn’t. I wiped his paws when we came in from outside
Puppy: Outside? I like outside
Me: You wiped his paws. You missed his entire body but got his paws. How?? I have no words…You, little boy. Let’s get you cleaned up.
Puppy: I thought we were going outside
Me: Not at the moment. You are filthy. Come here
Puppy: What does “filthy” mean?
Me: It means you need to get cleaned up
Puppy: What is That Thing? I don’t think I like it
Me: It’s a wash cloth. It won’t hurt
Puppy: It doesn’t look like a treat
Me: Come here, baby, it’s just a washcloth
Puppy: It doesn’t smell like a treat either
Me: We need to get you cleaned up
Puppy: I think I will just sit here and stare at you
Me: I have treats
Puppy: You what?
Me: Atta boy
Puppy: I am a good boy
Me: Yes, you—holy moly, what on earth did you roll in?
The minute I touched the black on his fur, the air became perfumed. And by “perfumed” I mean stank to high heaven. Clearly, the boy had rolled in something dead. Very dead. Dead and rotting. Which had then dried on him. As I rehydrated the very dead and rotting whateveritwas, the aroma returned.
It was not (to my nose) enjoyable and it did not improve as I cleaned him.
Puppy: I am a very good sharer
Me: Mmmm
Puppy: If you want to smell this good I can show you where to roll
Me: Mmmm
Puppy: But it would be better if you left the good smell on me
Me: Um, no
Puppy: Because you’re just moving the yummy smell to the washcloth
Me: I know. I may need to burn the washcloth
Puppy: Which means I won’t smell good anymore
Me: Wow this is potent. Into the sink with you. Bathtime.
Puppy: What? How did that happen? I was being so good
Me: Laws of nature
Puppy: Laws are better when they don’t involve baths
Update: The Puppy is clean (for the moment), the washcloth is clean (for the moment), and the dead whateveritwas is still out there. Hoping Dad keeps a better eye on the baby today.
Love, Mom
Who do you know who would enjoy Puppy Conversations? Share the DearKidLoveMom.com love
See more puppy conversations
- Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
- Spring Puppy Conversations
- New Puppy Conversations
- Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
- Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
- Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
- Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
- Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
- Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
- Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
- Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
- Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
- National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
- Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
- The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
- October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
- Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
- Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast
- Puppy Conversations | Mom Has a Headache and Puppy Tries to Help
- Puppy Conversations | Discussing Halloween
- Puppy Conversations | There Are Strangers in the House
- Puppy Conversations | Ricky The Yorkie Comes to Visit
- Puppy Conversations | Puppy Talks Turkey
- Puppy Conversations | Puppy Discovers Leftovers
- Puppy Conversations (Sort of) | The Sleep Challenge (Mine)
- Puppy Conversations | DeScarfing the Frog and Freezing Weather
- Puppy Conversations | Take Your Puppy to Work Day (Not)
- Puppy Conversations | Split Attention: Cat vs Food
- Puppy Conversations | The Adoption Event
- Puppy Conversations | Going to School and Going to Work
- Puppy Conversations | Puppy’s Innards Do the Talking
- Early Morning Puppy Conversations
- Puppy Conversations | April 15 and Puppy Takes Over the Blog
- Puppy Conversations | Walking in the Rain with My Puppy
- Puppy Conversations | It’s All About the Food
- Puppy Conversations | Puppy Logic Doesn’t Get Him Out of a Bath
- Crutches, Be a Millionaire Day, and Puppy Commentary
- Puppy Conversations | How to Get Rid of a Stink Bug and Pi Saves the Day
- Puppy Conversations | Walking in Sharon Woods Park
- Puppy Conversations | Morning Walk and Considering Breakfast
0 Comments
Trackbacks/Pingbacks