Dear Kid,

What a wonderful 4th of July weekend.

There was so much going on this weekend—celebrations in different cities with different families of different times in our lives.

Shout out to those at #Kutz50 this weekend–Love you guys! Sorry we couldn’t be with you.

One of these days I will figure out how to clone myself and be all places simultaneously. In the meantime, I’m grateful for Facebook and people who share photos.

Shout out to those at Red, White, and Blue Ash–Thank you for enjoying the evening for us!

Shout out to family gathered in Cleveland–Oh wait. I’m here. No shouting necessary. Yay!

We watched fireworks from the rooftop in Cleveland last night. It was absolutely amazing to see all the fireworks from countless localities all at once. It was a panorama of pretty. A kaleidoscope of kaboom (without most of the noise). Very, very cool.

And just when we thought the show was nearing its end, the City of Cleveland started its fireworks show. Spectacular.

If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a small moment for a Public Service Announcement.

Dear ‘Murica,

No, it’s not better when you take a photo of fireworks using your iphone with the flash on.

No, it’s not better when you hand your nephew a burning sparkler and tell him to stick the end through the chain link fence so he doesn’t get burned.

No, a few more beers does not improve your ability to set off fireworks. Let the professionals do it. You should stick with saying “ooh” and “ahh.”

No, it is not funny to try to convince your dog that fireworks are fun. Let him go inside and cower in the privacy of his own home.

Sorry. Some things just have to be said.

Hope you enjoyed your fireworks show last night and you have a great day today.

Get some sleep, kiddo. Pretty sure you need it.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

There are a lot of things ‘Murica shouldn’t be proud of. Like the term “’Murica”.

We don’t need to be proud of being the leader in obesity and diabetes and back pain and rudeness.

We don’t need to be proud of being right up in the top of the world’s polluters or contributors to global warming.

We should be downright ashamed at the behavior of some of our citizens. Violence and intolerance (even if we’re not world leaders in either) are not things to be proud of.

And there are a number of reality TV shows that we contributed to the world that we should definitely not be proud of.

On the other hand, we have a lot we can be proud of as a country.

We believe in democracy. We believe in freedom. We (generally) believe we have the right to disagree with each other without consequences for our ideology (Note: Except when it comes to cleaning your room in which instance there will be consequences—not for disagreeing, but for not going along with the program.)

We believe in the goodness of moving forward with the times, both in terms of technology and in terms of treating each other well.

We believe in the healing the sick and feeding the hungry (that we don’t agree on the “how” is a different issue).

We believe that everyone has a right to vote for our leaders and that no one voice is better or more important than another (except on America’s Got Talent).

We believe in a meritocracy (most of the time).

We believe in hard work and just rewards.

Basically, we believe in being American. And that is something to be very proud of.

Happy Birthday, ‘Murica.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is Father’s Day.

I’ve thought about Father’s Day a lot over the years. I’ve considered whether it is a “Hallmark Holiday”—one of those faux holidays created primarily to sell cards and beer.

I’ve related the history of Father’s Day (not Hallmark).

I’ve wondered whether Father’s Day is redundant because we should Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother every day not just on a Sunday in June.

This year, I’ve decided that Father’s Day is Important. Yes, we should honor and respect and even occasionally talk to our parents all year. But sometimes we take Dads for granted. Sometimes we forget to tell them how important they are to us. Sometimes we assume that when we say “Hi Dad” they magically know that means “You are the best dad ever and I love you.”

We know how important it is to us that they were at the game we lost, but we don’t always remember to tell Dad how much it meant.

We know how important it is to us that they listened to a rambling story and tried to keep up with all the participants, but we generally get frustrated that they confuse the two Bens in the story and forget to tell them we appreciate their interest.

We know how important it is to us that they sat through hours of band concerts when they could have been doing something (anything!) else. But we never remember to say Thanks for Coming to My Concert.

We know how proud they are of us, no matter what we do. But we forget to tell them how proud we are of all they have done, for us and for others.

So I’ve decided this year that Father’s Day is important. It’s a reminder to tell Dad how much he means, how wonderful he is, and how much we love him.

(I love you, Daddy!)

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Happy International Picnic Day. Think hot dogs, pasta salad, and watermelon. (And cookies—it’s also National Splurge Day so have a couple.)

The first picnic (I wasn’t there, but I have it on good authority) consisted of an apple—which wasn’t all that filling but had far reaching consequences.

Other sources (like The Wiki) indicate that picnics date back to medieval times (they haven’t really done enough research).

In fact, the modern day picnic was invented by Sir Francis de Pick Nick. Sir Francis’ family unwisely over-invested in red and white checkered fabric. S.F. wasn’t keen on being outfitted in big checks (remember the outfits made from drapes in the Sound of Music?) so he created a marketing campaign starring picnics and checkered tablecloths. (And yes, Jenny, I spelled it right this time!)

Ready for a picnic? (Around here, most picnics will be indoor events since significant precipitation is predicted.)

Don’t forget the ants. Or the pick-a-nic basket (extra points if you get the reference).

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Huzzah!

Much good has been going on in the world.

American Pharoah did the near-impossible and won the Triple Crown in glorious style and will presumably pass on the trip to Disney (isn’t that where all major sporting event winners go?), hang up his racing shoes, and go on to become a gigolo stud. Because like all major sports, horse racing is about money, and one doesn’t want one’s star stud getting hurt or – God forbid – losing (which would drop his stud fees like the New Year’s Eve ball in Times Square).

Canada celebrated Sepp Blatter’s resignation and the start of the women’s soccer world cup by beating China in the first game. Talk to Dad about the officiating. He has Opinions. Other Countries play today and the US enters the fray tomorrow. Dad will doubtless (without a doubt) provide me with more details than necessary which I will probably not pass along to you.

Yesterday was National Yo-Yo Day which had its ups and downs (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

Today is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day which seems a bit redundant (isn’t every day chocolate ice cream day? Who needs a declaration?).

And tomorrow is Best Friend Day. For the record, you can have more than one best friend at a time. I know this flies in the face of “best”-ness, but for once I believe we should use a looser interpretation of the word. (Yes, it’s still me writing.)

Have a great day sweetie.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Already it’s been quite a busy morning.

Because of she’s on crutches, I drove Pi to school this morning. And because I’m That Kind Of Mom, the puppy came with us. And whined the entire trip.

Puppy: Did not
Me: Excuse me?
Puppy: I was offering a commentary on the things I sniffed
Me: In English we call that whining
Puppy: You do not understand sniffing

Do you know how hard it is to compose a blog in your head when the Puppy is whining? And I’m not talking about a soft, subtle whine, I’m talking about loud, in-your-face, non-stop, “I’m being abused” whining.

Puppy: If I whisper, you can’t hear the commentary
Me: I’d be willing to take my chances

In other news, DearKidLoveMom is making a technology change. Theoretically speaking, this shouldn’t impact you at all. It should be a smooth transition from one hosting service to another.

I did say “theoretically speaking”, right?

The challenge is that technology projects and “theoretically speaking” only have a passing acquaintance—at least in my experience.

Puppy: It’s because you don’t sniff them

I’m hoping you don’t even notice that the site has moved. But in case the world ends (and by “the world ends” I mean the site is down for some amount of time”) I want you to know that I had nothing to do with it and I’m not a bit surprised.

Puppy: If you’d give the technology a treat it would behave much better. Speaking of which…
Me: Puppies who whine in the car do not get treats. Especially not before I’ve finished my first cup of coffee.
Puppy: Drink up, woman!

And in still other news, it’s Be a Millionaire Day. It’s not clear to me if this is a directive or an honorific, but it’s not a bad thing. Especially since a million dollars isn’t really a million dollars any more. Well, it is but it only buys you an ice cream cone and a cup of tea in retirement.

How does one celebrate Be a Millionaire Day? I’m not sure. (Puppy: You sniff it.) Maybe you buy a winning lottery ticket (don’t waste your money buying losing tickets). Maybe you play a round of Monopoly. Or maybe you just go to work or school as usual and plan for the future.

Not sounding like a great day to celebrate? Probably because you’re not an expert sniffer.

Love, Mom

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