Dear Kid,

And how things can change in a day.

Turns out that the east coast of These Here United States is going to get about a Vortex-full of snow and my trip to New Jersey has been rescheduled. To April. When presumably it will not be polar bear season in Newark.

The airline is rejoicing. Oh, no problem! We’ll happily exchange your $357 ticket for a $250 ticket (do not pass go, do not collect a refund). And thank you so much for staying out of our hair during what we are sure will be a rather nasty few days.

Dear Burglars,

I told you not to get your hopes up.

In other news, today is National Cereal Day. (Yesterday was National Oreo Day—how did I miss celebrating that one?!)

Factoid: CheeriOats was the original name for Cheerios

National Cereal Day is ridiculously easy to celebrate. Just pour a bowl of cereal and enjoy.

Factoid: The cereal industry uses over 800 million pounds of sugar a year (so it is closer to National Oreo Day than I thought…)

It’s not clear if National Cereal Day refers only to cold cereal. But since we’re about to be gripped in Vortex of Polar Proportions, I say go for it and eat oatmeal if you want.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you been paying attention to Chinese astrology? If not, no worries; I’m here to help.

2018 is the Year of the Dog.

Puppy: Which is really seven years, so it’s pretty much always the dog’s year.

The Dog is the 11^th sign in the Chinese zodiac.

Puppy: Nonsense. Dogs are #1.

Lucky numbers for Dogs are 3, 4, and 9.

Puppy: What’s our lucky food?

Lucky colors are red, green, and purple.

Puppy: We’re color blind!!

Lucky flowers are rose and cymbidium orchids.

Puppy: You forgot grass.

There are several on-line calculators to help you figure out if you’re a Dog.

Puppy: Seriously? You need help with this? Do you “woof”?

Dogs are loyal, honest, kind, cautious, and prudent.

Puppy: You left out good looking and furry.

Dogs are not good at communication.

Puppy: You jest!

Overall, Dogs enjoy good health for they tend to be happy all the time. Dogs are active at sports so they are resilient to illnesses, such as colds, coughs, and fever.

Puppy: Of course we’re happy all the time! Naps, treats, a good scratch. What’s not to be happy about?

Dogs do not tend to be criminals or seek dishonest gains…

Puppy: We don’t have thumbs! But some of us are not above sneaking an extra bit of food.

…they just need a quiet life and a good family. Dogs are always ready to help others and do not care about their own interests, but if they find themselves betrayed by cunning people they will feel shocked and hurt.

Puppy: What do you mean “betrayed by cunning people”??

They are easygoing and kind, and are always ready to alleviate the workload of others, which makes them very popular in their work group.

Puppy: Let’s go back. What do you mean by “betrayed by cunning people”!?!

Good careers for Dogs are police officer, interior designer, professor, politician, nurse, or judge.

Puppy: I would be a great politician!

Happy Year of the Dog!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is Old Rock Day.

I don’t know why, but it is.

I’m fascinated by the idea that there might be rocks that aren’t old. Who’s ever heard of a new rock?

For that matter, who determines what “old” is when it comes to rocks?

Q: What happens when you look up geology jokes? A: You know you’ve hit rock bottom! (I didn’t make that up.)

The oldest rock on earth is 4.4 billion years old. They know this because of birth certificate records. Can you imagine the bonfire when that rock has birthday cake?

According to My Friend the Internet, the youngest rocks are on earth are whatever is being spewed out of an active volcano.

The biggest rock on the planet is the one that was in my shoe last night. It’s amazing how our perception of size correlates directly to the length of time a pebble stone boulder is in one’s shoe.

There are probably other interesting facts about rocks, but I couldn’t dig my way through the various sites to find any that I found entertaining. You can consider this a do-it-yourself letter if you’re interested in learning more about rocks.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is Groundhog Day! You’d think I’d be talking about that furry little rodent (or more likely, threatening him). Been there, done that, so I’m moving on.

(Mr. Groundhog, please, please don’t see your shadow!)

Tomorrow is International Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.

How cool (or frozen) is that?

So instead of stressing about whether Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, I’m thinking about breakfast ice cream.

Coffee ice cream? Absolutely.

Chai tea ice cream? Sounds fabulous.

Peanut butter? A bit of protein is a great idea.

Scrambled egg ice cream? No, and no.

Left over Chinese food ice cream? Er, not really getting Mu Shoo ice cream.

Vanilla? Chocolate? Strawberry? Yes, yes, yes. Pistachio? Sure. Rocky Road? Why not. Moose tracks? Go for it.

In fact, I’m having a hard time coming up with ice cream flavors that would be good at some time but not good at breakfast.

Do you think Phil can be bribed with ice cream?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s January. You probably knew that. You probably also know that January is named after Janus, the Roman god with two heads (one looking forward and one looking back). But I’m betting there is a lot you don’t know about the first month of the year.

Like it wasn’t always the first month. If you go back far enough in history, it wasn’t a month at all since months hadn’t been invented. (Fast forward a little, please.) Then January became the 11^th month which confused everyone in Times Square.

The Anglo-Saxons called January “Wulfmonath” because hungry wolves came scavenging during the winter. Anyone who has ever fed a teenager will understand this perfectly.

Speaking of food, January is National Soup Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Slow Cooking Month, and National Baking Month. In other words, it’s COLD!

According to My Friend the Internet, more couples separate or get divorced in January than in any other month. This makes no sense, because it’s COLD and snuggling is warm.

There are two zodiac signs in January, Capricorn and Aquarius. This is important to know if you want to check your horoscope. The birthstone for January is garnet. I don’t know why, but it’s a pretty stone, so why not. January’s flower is carnation (meh) which is also the state flower of Ohio.  Tulips are better but none of the months have claimed tulips, which is their mistake.

This year, there are two full moons in January. The first was the Full Wolf Moon (which you saw on January 1^st if you were paying attention). The second will be the Full Old Moon (also a Blue Moon) which will rise on January 31^st (whether or not you are paying attention). Both of them are supermoons which means they are gorgeous and worth sticking your nose out into the cold to see.

Happy January!

Enjoy the rest of the month, kiddo.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

As much as it’s warmer than it’s been for a while, it is still dang cold. Which makes it easy to see why it’s Hot Tea Month.

Tea is warming from the inside (when you drink it) and from the outside (when you hold your mug in both hands and inhale the wonderful aromas).

It’s not the same as sitting in a sauna, but it’s a lot more portable.

Today is also Bittersweet Chocolate Day.

I’ll raise a cup of tea to that.

Love, Mom