Dear Kid,

Puppy: Why is Daddy yelling?
Me: He’s watching World Cup Soccer
Puppy: Why is he yelling?
Me: It’s an exciting game
Puppy: But, why is he yelling?
Me: Well…um…would you like me to rub your tummy?

Puppy: Mom, we have to talk
Me: OK, sugar. What would you like to talk about?
Puppy: My nails
Me: Do they need to be cut? Let me see
Puppy: Give me my paw back. They don’t need to be cut. Ever again.
Me: Nice theory. Don’t think it’s going to work out that way
Puppy: I don’t like having my nails cut
Me: Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like
Puppy: Not if we talk about it nicely
Me: Sometimes even if we talk about it nicely
Puppy: Emily Post is a fraud

Puppy: Where are you going?
Me: To the gym
Puppy: Can I go?
Me: Puppies aren’t allowed at the gym
Puppy: What do you do at the gym?
Me: I climb steps on the elliptical machine and I lift weights
Puppy: You’re weird

Puppy: Where are you going?
Me: To the gym
Puppy: Why?
Me: To exercise
Puppy: You should just chase a squirrel

Puppy: I think it’s dinner time
Me: You always think it’s dinner time
Puppy: Yeah, but now it is
Me: Nope, you have about another 45 minutes to go
Puppy: I think it could be dinner time if you wanted it to be
Me: I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait.
Puppy: OK…Is it time now?

Puppy: Dinner smells good
Me: Thank you
Puppy: Can I have some?
Me: You had your dinner
Puppy: You share with other people
Me: Sometimes
Puppy: You say I’m a People
Me: Always
Puppy: So shouldn’t you share with me?
Me: Nice try, but no
Puppy: I think some people shouldn’t be more equal than others…

Puppy: So why is Daddy yelling?
Me: More FIFA World Cup Soccer
Puppy: What’s a FIFA?
Me: They’re the people in charge of soccer
Puppy: They make a very noisy game

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations, see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby, It’s Cold Outside, More Puppy Conversations