Holidays

Twenty-Two Facts About the Number 22

Dear Kid,

Surprises are nice, but sometimes it’s good to know what’s coming.

22 and Happy Birthday! DearKidLoveMom.comSo in the spirit of sneak previews, here are 22 Interesting Facts about the Number 22.

  1. 22 is a palindromic number, meaning it’s the same coming and going.
  2. 22 divided by 7 is Pi, which makes you related to your sister seven times over. There are of course other things that make you related, but I’m not talking about that today.
  3. 22 is (and I quote) “an even composite number composed of two prime numbers multiplied together.” Uh-huh. Twenty-two is a bunch of other arithmetic things I don’t understand and will therefore not subject you to (or twenty-to).
  4. The number 22 is double 11 (which symbolizes disorder and chaos) and is therefore representative of double disorganization and quantum chaos. This explains the big number 22 someone put over my desk at work.
  5. The length of a cricket pitch is 22 yards. No one cares.
  6. The Titanic was traveling at a speed of 22 knots before it crashed into the iceberg. The iceberg was not knotting at all and still won.
  7. There are 22 yards in a chain. No one knows what that kind of chain is, so the phrase is never used. Except by cricket players.
  8. The atomic number of titanium is 22.
  9. There are 22 letters in the Hebrew aleph-bet (alphabet). You know all of them.
  10. The Paramount Pictures logo has 22 stars. This has led to lots of idle speculation and faux facts over the years.
  11. When you see squwanky letters and symbols in a URL, look for %22 (which represents quote markets). Then you can nod knowingly and say, “Ah…%22. A Quotation Mark.”
  12. In American football, there are 22 players on the field at any one time. At least there should be.
  13. Ditto the other kind of futbol.
  14. In the Kabbalah, there are 22 paths between the Sephirot. I don’t know what that means. But there are definitely 22 of them.
  15. In Bingo, 22 is referred to as “two little ducks.” Quacking optional.
  16. Twenty-two is considered a significant “master builder” number in numerology. Remind me to find out what a “minor builder” number is.
  17. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller’s 1961 novel) gave rise to the expression “catch-22” which means a dilemma or quandary. Like whether to look up “minor builder” numbers or live in ignorance.
  18. In Jay-Z’s song “22 Twos”, he rhymes the words “too”, “to”, and “two” 22 times in the first verse. The rhyming is not so impressive. The 22 times is kind of cool.
  19. The USAF stealth fighter is the F-22 Raptor. (Its friends just call it 22 Rap).
  20. F/22 is the largest f-stop (therefore smallest aperture) on most single lens reflex cameras. This will not be on the test.
  21. A traditional Tarot deck has 22 cards. I’m sure people who Know These Things understand the significance. I am not one of those people.
  22. In French jargon, “22” is a warning that the police are on the way (translation: Yark! The po-po!).

There are more facts about the number 22, but why mess with a good thing?

Happy Birthday, baby,

Love, Mom

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It’s Love Your Pet Day!

Dear Kid,

Once again, it’s Monday. It happens every 7 days, so I’m sure you’re not surprised.

But this is no ordinary Monday, my friend. No, no.

This is a Monday to put a smile on your face.

Happy Love Your Pet Day! DearKidLoveMom.comBecause today is—wait for it—Love Your Pet Day.

The need for such a day is, well, imo, silly. It’s like saying we should have a day called Breathe Oxygen Day. Duh.

But apparently someone (I’m guessing the card companies) decided it was a good idea (completely overlooking the fact that Pets Can’t Read).

For the record, the Best of All Possible Pets is currently celebrating by napping. When I asked earlier, he said he plans to celebrate by eating, sleeping, and trying to convince everyone he comes in contact with to adore him. And he wouldn’t object to some jerky or pumpkin. In other words, business as usual.

If we had a hedgehog, I’d have to go buy mealworms for a treat, which is kind of ick. Did you know that hedgehogs are considered exotic pets in Ohio? I have no idea what that means either, except that you can’t just go get a hedgehog whenever you want.

I’m pretty sure you can’t just go adopt a river otter either…

It’s a good thing we already have The Puppy. Who is only exotic in that he’s ours.

I think I’ll celebrate Love Your Pet Day by snuggling with him.

Love, Mom

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The 9 Most Important Valentine’s Trends of 2017

Dear Kid,

You may have heard the rumor. It’s not exactly a secret.

It’s Valentine’s Day!

The 9 Most Important Valentine's Trends of 2017 DearKidLoveMom.com

The VDay trends for 2017 are wide ranging and interesting, except really they aren’t. I checked. And most of the sites talking about 2017 Valentine’s Trends are either talking about the obvious (candy, flowers, cards) or trying to create a trend by getting people to buy what they say the trend is. (Good luck unraveling that.)

So instead of relying on tried and boring or new and questionable, I decided that the best way to identify useful trends was to make them up completely and hope they become trendworthy.

Mom’s 9 Most Important 2017 Valentine’s Trends

  1. Hugs. Hugs are the number one best sort of gift you can give anyone. They are the perfect gift for friend, significant other, and Moms. They are always the right size. And they’re priced right.
  2. Smiles. Not everyone enjoys Valentine’s Day. There are a lot of hopes and expectations (most of which don’t really work out). Everyone appreciates a smile. And you don’t have to shop in advance.
  3. Courtesy. Never out of fashion. Always appreciated. Hold a door. Carry someone’s books. Say please and thank you.
  4. Hand written notes. You don’t have to spend a fortune at the card store (and you haven’t purchased a card yet, it may be too late). Write (it’s like texting except on paper) something yourself. Draw a picture. (Take a photo and send it electronically if you have to.)
  5. Call. Seriously. Talk out loud. Your phone knows how to make that happen.
  6. Take care of yourself. Work out. Go for a run. Meditate.
  7. Spoil yourself. Buy yourself a piece of really good chocolate. Or two pieces of so-so chocolate. Treat yourself to a specialty coffee.
  8. Get together with friends. Valentine’s Day is about happy and healthy hearts. Celebrate (or uncelebrate) with friends.
  9. Know you are loved. Take a look in the mirror. That’s a pretty amazing person. A pretty amazing person who is loved by many people.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2017 <3

Love, Mom

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National Pizza Day! How Are You Going to Celebrate?

Dear Kid,

Did you know that Super Bowl Sunday is the top pizza day in the country? Of course you did. More people eat pizza on Super Bowl Sunday than on any other day of the year. Which is (confusingly) why National Pizza Day is February 9th.

The most popular pizza size in the U.S. is 14 inches in diameter.

The rest of the top 5 pizza days are: New Year’s Eve, Halloween, the night before Thanksgiving, and New Year’s Day. I find New Year’s Eve as the second most popular time for pizza to odd. And somewhat sad. And delicious.

National Pizza Day! How Are You Going to Celebrate? DearKidLoveMom.comBecause in ‘Murica, we love pizza. We, the People, eat about 100 acres of pizza a day. Each and every day. Most of them have pepperoni on them. And we wonder why we’re not a svelte People.

Pizza comes from the Latin picea meaning “blackening of crust by fire” or “mama doesn’t feel like cooking tonight.”

Women are twice as likely as men to order vegetables on their pizza.

Pizza is a Most Excellent Food at any time of day. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, coffee break, middle of the afternoon, pre-dawn, post-late-night. Any time. Hot. Cold. Warm. But not frozen. Frozen pizza would be bad.

Have a wonderful (and not frozen) National Pizza Day!

Love, Mom

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No Waterfowl Were Harmed in the Writing of this Letter | National Lame Duck Day

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time (by which I mean in England in the 1700s which is before even your grandfather was born) the term “lame duck” referred to stock brokers who couldn’t pay their debts. I don’t know why. Those British, you know.

Then the term carried over to people (in those days, men) who were completely bankrupt but would continue to do business.

You want me to fly with crutches? I think not. Lame duck, my ass. Happy National Lame Duck Day. DearKidLoveMom.comBack in the Old Days (and by “old days” I mean before hashtags were invented) of the United States, there were 13 months (count ‘em—over a year) from the time a congressperson (man, in those days) was elected until the time he took office. Which meant a long time during which he was neither campaigning nor particularly beholden to his constituency. This time was called a lame duck session of congress.

On the plus side, this meant that congressmen could get on with the business of governing. On the downside, it meant that many people (men, mostly) considered that these folks didn’t have any real power since they’d been booted out of their jobs.

An awful lot of people are confused as to just what is meant by a lame duck Congress. It’s like where some fellows worked for you and their work wasn’t satisfactory and you let ’em out, but after you fired ’em, you let ’em stay long enough so they could burn your house down.  – Will Rogers

So back in the 1930s (also a long time ago), people decided that 13 months was just waaaay too long. And they decided to pass the 20th Amendment to the Constitution to shorten the “lame duck” period from 13 months to 2 months. Which meant the waterfowl didn’t need crutches for nearly as long.

The Amendment was passed by Congress (not during a lame duck session) on March 2, 1932 and ratified on January 23, 1933. So why am I talking about it today? Because it was Proclaimed by the United States Secretary of State on February 6, 1933 and February 6th was therefore chose as National Lame Duck Day.

Which is pretty lame if you ask me.

Love, Mom

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Your parents are tired and grumpy. You’ve been warned. | Winter is Coming and Puppy is Barking

Dear Kid,

So it happened.

As we knew (or at least feared) it would.

Your parents are tired and grumpy. You've been warned. DearKidLoveMom.comThe groundhog, Mr. Punxsutawney Phil himself, saw his shadow, screeched in alarm, and darted back down underneath his covers, there to stay until 2021.

Perhaps it wasn’t his shadow that so freaked him out. I’m not a groundhog handler, so I can’t be sure.

Regardless, we are likely to have more winter before we have spring. This surprises exactly no one except those of me who were slightly hopeful.

We are continuing to have issues with the Puppy barking at all sorts of unapproved hours. He’s being very closed-snouted about the why of the whole thing.

At first I thought he just decided that he’s too grown up and doesn’t need a crate anymore, but I don’t think that’s it.

‘Tis a puzzlement.

Not an amusing one since it is diametrically opposite sleep. Which we like. A lot.

Between the additional winter and the less than standard amount of sleep, you have fairly cranky parents.

You’ve been warned.

Love, Mom

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