Dear Kid,

Today is Absolutely Incredible Kids Day. Which makes no sense, because I think you’re absolutely incredible every day.

Absolutely Incredible Kids Day (or AIK, pronounced “ache” if your kids are not behaving) was created in 1997 by Camp Fire USA to (and I quote) “honor our nation’s youth by asking adults to write letters of encouragement and inspiration to the incredible kids in their lives.” Which makes absolutely no sense because I write to you every day (well, almost every day).

Although I don’t know how many of these letters are of encouragement and inspiration.

Having now found out about this thing called Absolutely Incredible Kids Day (#AIKD—yes, it has a hashtag so it must be important), I immediately leapt into investigative mode (by which I mean I read one page of a website and started making things up. And by “making things up” I mean decided to state my own opinions.).

Five Reasons to Write a Letter to Your Kid

1. No child is ever too young or too old to get a letter from someone else. Ever. #AIKD seems to be aimed at having parents write to younger children. I say everyone needs to take out a pen and jot down some love. Just because your children are no longer in single digits doesn’t mean they don’t need parental love.
2. Kids can’t interrupt a letter. I know. You’ve tried. You’ve rolled your eyes. You’ve written back. You’ve offered guidance and commentary. You may even—although I choose not to believe it—have stopped reading partway through one of my letters. But you’ve never managed to interrupt one.
3. Letters are longer than a text. Texts are a short-hand written conversation. Sort of. Letters take more thought, more…words. Letters can be saved and treasured. No one is ever going to take out a smudged and much read text.
4. Letters are more formal. Not necessarily tuxedo formal. (Have you read any of my letters? It’s pretty much a tuxedo-free zone, here. No one is ever going to confuse my writing with Shakespeare or Milton.) But they are more formal, more weighty, than your average teenager’s grunt.
5. Kids need to be reminded that they are loved and cared for. Often. Shouldn’t they already know? Probably. Possibly. But it’s important to remind them. Because it’s too easy to get caught up in the drama of the day and forget the important stuff.

We love you, kiddo. Now and always.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It is the time of lists.

The Best Gifts for Dad.

Forty Gifts Under $40.

Twenty Seven Ideas for Decorating for the Holidays.

And so on.

Most of the ideas and gifts involve lots of money, huge amounts of crafty talent, ridiculous tackiness, or all of the above.

Since not all college students are flush with money and/or crafty talent, here is the list of the Top 7 Ideas for Gifts College Kids to Give Their Families.

1. Do your own laundry. You’re welcome to bring it home. You’re welcome to use our machine. Just don’t expect anyone to wash and fold for you.
2. Tell us your schedule. We know you have plans that don’t always include us. Please let us know where you’re going, whether you’re joining us for dinner, and when to expect you home.
3. Recognize that other people watch television. There are Bowl Games. We get it. We even plan to watch some of them. But there are other things on TV and you do not always get to make the final decision.
4. There are times to turn off. I checked. There is no requirement to have the television running 20 hours a day. There is no requirement to check texts while having conversations with live people.
5. The house rules still apply. You’re old enough to make your own breakfast; you’re also old enough to clean up the aforementioned meal without being reminded multiple times. When we have a family meal everyone (by which I mean everyone) needs to help clean up.
6. Try to remember that we’re a family. There will be optional events and there will be required events. Try to participate cheerfully.
7. Volunteer to help. It would be great to volunteer outside the house, but I’ll settle for you volunteering inside. There are magic words (in addition to “please” and “thank you”). They sound something like, “Hey, Mom. Let me take care of that for you.”

And a hug with a sincere “Love you Mom.” That’s the best gift ever.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

In case you haven’t heard, there is an election coming up. Surprise!

For many college students, this is the first presidential election you’ve been able to vote in. And you need to vote. Seriously.

Hopefully, you’ve already sent in your absentee ballot, because (sad face) you won’t be home to vote in person.

Fact: Absentee votes count exactly the same way in-person votes count.

1. The next president of the United States will have a big impact on your life—you should help choose that person.
2. There are other important elections taking place—you should have a say in who holds those positions too.
3. You are (more or less) an adult. Adults have responsibilities and privileges. Voting is one.
4. Every vote counts. Each and every one.
5. If you don’t accept the responsibility of helping decide who’s in charge, you don’t earn the right to comment on the decisions those people make.
6. Voting doesn’t hurt. And it shouldn’t take long (especially if you use your absentee ballot).
7. You don’t have to skip class to vote. Or you can (well, you can’t, but some other kid could).
8. After next Tuesday, the voting commercials will end. Which is a good reason to celebrate by voting.
9. If you vote in person, you might get a really cool (not) sticker.
10. You get to feel silently superior to people who didn’t take advantage of their democratic right to vote.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

IF you happened to be hanging around New York City in 1904, and IF you happened to wish to go from Here to There, and IF “here” was City Hall and “there” was 145^th Street, and IF you had an extra nickel (which was real money at the time), and IF you happened to be insistent enough to push your way to the front of the line, you might have been on the first ride of the New York City subway.

Actually, probably not. The then Mayor (George McClellan) was the “engineer” of the first run at 2:35pm (no idea how they chose that time), and one can only imagine that the first ride was full of dignitaries, wannabees, journalists, other hangers-on, and 70% of The City’s homeless.

The general public (that’s who you would have been) had to wait until 7pm to turn their nickel into underground transportation. That same ride costs $2.75 today.

A slice of New York City pizza (yum) tends to cost about as much as a ride on the subway. Seriously.

FACT: The world’s oldest underground train network was opened in London in 1863.

ANOTHER FACT: The first subway in the US was built in Boston.

YET ANOTHER FACT: NYC’s subway is bigger than either London’s or Boston’s because New York.

Until 1948, subway cost a nickel. That year the fare was raised to a dime (not two nickels because those wouldn’t fit in the new turnstiles).

Five years later, the fare was raised to 15 cents. But engineers couldn’t figure out how to create a turnstile that could accept two different coins. Enter the subway token.

For 50 years, tokens were the only way to pay to ride the subway and as fares rose, tokens changed—albeit less frequently than I would have expected. There were only 5 tokens over the years (not including the commemorative ones because I don’t want to include them).

ONE MORE FACT: Rather than pay for a token, thieves would sometimes jam the turnstiles and suck the tokens out of the slots. Kind of like slurping soup, but much more disgusting. To combat this, the MTA often sprayed the slots with chili powder.

These days, one uses a MetroCard to ride the subway. Which is much more efficient and much less fun.

AND STILL ONE MORE FACT: In 2008, 44 old NYC subway cars were dumped into the ocean off of the coast Maryland to serve as an artificial reef. To date, there have been no reports of fishy graffiti.

Happy New York City subway birthday day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Don’t read this letter to the Puppy!

At the Paws in the Park event this past weekend, there were—spoiler alert—a lot of dogs. There were dogs of pretty much every variety, every color (except purple), and many temperaments.

In terms of size, they ranged from “horse” to “does anyone have a magnifying glass?” There were two of the tiniest Chihuahuas I’ve ever seen, and they were spot-on adorable.

When I got home, I told Dad I thought I wanted to adopt a Chihuahua. Dad thought that was an excellent idea as long as I didn’t want to be married anymore.

So it looks like I’m not going get to a teacup-sized puppy.

But here are 5 Reasons to Love a Small Dog.

1. They eat less. The smaller the dog, the smaller the food bill. Economical!
2. They poop less. Less in, less out. We call this digestive mathematics.
3. They have no idea they’re small. Little dudes tend to have big-big-big personalities and little to no fear.
4. They can’t reach the counter. No need to worry about what’s sitting out on the kitchen island because teeny legs can’t get them up that high.
5. You can carry them around easily. No matter how strong you are, it’s not easy to carry a Newfoundland around all day.

So basically, little dogs are kind of like smaller than average people. Bright, entertaining, and in need of step stools.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Ten reasons to be glad it’s today:

1. It’s a great day to learn something new (every day is a great day to learn something new).
2. If yesterday was a not-so-good day, it’s today!
3. If yesterday was a great day, today is an opportunity to be even better.
4. You’re on the right side of the dirt. And the rest of your life ahead of you.
5. You still have time to apologize for something you want to apologize for or forgive someone you want to forgive.
6. It’s National Kale Day and no one is going to force you to eat kale. As it says in our constitution, we are entitled to the life, liberty, and the pursuit of a kale-free existence.
7. You have fresh water and enough to eat (even without the kale).
8. You have a roof over your head and a safe place to sleep.
9. You have wonderful friends and a family who loves you.
10. Happiness is a choice. Why not choose to be happy?

Have a wonderful, kale-free day.

Love, Mom