Dear Kid,

In my search for Terribly Interesting Information, I have been researching pizza. Yep, I have found Bizarre Pizza facts.

Turns out Mrs. Joe Neanderthal invented pizza. She didn’t mean to. She meant to make a pie for dinner, but ran out of dough. So instead of covering it, she served it flat (she didn’t have a pie dish since they wouldn’t be invented for several thousand years) without a cover. The little Neanderthals immediately ate all of it, started watching too much TV, and began arguing about the proper way to eat a slice. Pizza was invented.

Pizza should be eaten hot and fresh. Only microwave in dire emergencies. The good news is you get to define "emergency."

Pizza is the math of food. There is a Pizza Principle stating (with ridiculous accuracy) that the cost of a pizza has matched the cost of a NYC subway ride for over 50 years. There is the Pizza Theorem which it’s too early in the morning for me to understand (much less explain) so if you want to know more about it go check it out on Wikipedia; I can tell you that it involves the symbol pi, which seems very fitting.

Mostly there is a lot of pizza (the best of which is in NYC just a subway ride away). On average, Americans eat 46 slices of pizza a year. Professional eater Joey Chestnut set a record when he ate 40½ slices of pizza in 10 minutes. I have no idea how he eats his pizza, but I can say with confidence that if you eat that much pizza in that short a time you’re doing it wrong.

In Scotland, they deep fry pizzas. I have no words. Seriously, no words. But I may need to plan a trip to Scotland to investigate further.

36% of people consider pizza the perfect breakfast. They are correct. (But for the record I should note that it is not the only perfect breakfast.)

The world’s fastest pizza maker can make 14 pizzas in 2 minutes and 35 seconds. This seems like an abundance of efficiency to me.

Pizza is so important that NASA is developing 3D printers that can print pizzas for astronauts. My opinion on that has yet to be determined. Pizza?, yes; in space?, certainly; 3D printed?, hmmm, not sure about that yet. But then again I’ve never eaten 3D printed food.

If you’re eating pizza today (and if you hadn’t planned to, this may have changed your mind), enjoy! If you’re not eating pizza today, enjoy whatever you are eating.

Love, Mom

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