Dear Kid,

Me: It’s freezing outside, put on your coat
Every Child That’s Every Lived In Our House: I’m fine.

 

Pi: What is the Puppy doing?
Me: I believe he is attempting open-heart surgery on his stuffed frog
Pi: Open-squeaker surgery?
Me: Right
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.
A tug of war ensues
Puppy: I did it! I did it! I did it! The frog is scarf-free! The froggie is free!
Pi: Look at your toy. What a beautiful toy. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Puppy: Yes it is.
Pi: Yes it is. Can I see it? Bring it here.
Puppy: You want to see my wonderful squeaky frog?
Pi: That’s right, yes it is. Can I see it?
Puppy: Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the frog Throw the WHAT? You put the scarf back on the frog.
Pi: Fetch!
Puppy: Froggie! Froggie! Froggie! Froggie!
Puppy: Must. Take. Scarf. Off. Frog.

 

Me: Let’s go for a walk
Puppy: Um, no
Me: Come on it’s walk time
Puppy: Um, no thank you
Me: What’s wrong?
Puppy: What’s wrong? Have you SEEN the weather report? It’s COLD
Me: Well, yes
Puppy: It’s colder than cold. It is beyond cold. That is no place for small dogs
Me: I understand it’s cold, but you need to go outside
Puppy: Nope. Waiting for spring

 

Puppy: Want to go home
Me: We just got outside
Puppy: I’m cold and I want to go home
Me: You have certain things to attend to first
Puppy: This is my miserable face
Me: This is my mom face
Puppy: I’m not happy about this
Me: I know

 

Puppy: S-s-s-s-so cold
Me: I know baby
Puppy: D-d-d-d-didn’t like the outside today
Me: I know, come here and let me help you warm up
Puppy: C-c-c-c-cold
Me: I know. Poor you
Puppy: P-p-p-poor me
Me: Yes baby
Puppy: Tomorrow will be better
Me: I’ve got bad news for you
Puppy: N-n-n-n-not happy
Me: I know

 

Stay warm, kiddo. And give the puppy extra snuggles today.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see