Dear Kid,

It’s Star Wars Day.

We’ve talked about Star Wars Day (which is to say I’ve talked and you’ve read). And after careful research (and by “research” I mean I had a cup of coffee), I can confidently say there are no more interesting yet sufficiently non-obscure facts about SW for me to talk about (if you want insanely obscure, you’ll have to do your own research).

Having nothing Star Wars related to write about, I turned on the TV and found the Big Bang Theory episode with James Earl Jones talking about Star Wars. (I kid you not. It was on. And it was an episode I’d not seen before. Win-win.) I didn’t learn anything particularly new about Star Wars, but I did enjoy myself.

Then my brain took a left turn (and I went along for the ride). I started thinking ‘May The Fifth Be With You.’ I thought ‘I wonder what they were drinking in the bar in Star Wars.’ And then I thought ‘But if we’re going to be drinking a fifth of something on May the fifth it should probably be tequila. Which makes me a day early for Cinco de Mayo.’ Then I thought ‘I probably shouldn’t have had that last cup of coffee.’

Have you ever read a really good book and raced through it because you couldn’t put it down only to be disappointed at the end because you finished it? And then you find out there’s a sequel and you’re so happy you jump around in little circles? And fly out the door to purchase the sequel which you then read all in one sitting because it’s so good but then you’re finished and you’re just so sad it’s over? Star Wars will never be over. They are going to keep making Star Wars movies until the technology is so advanced that we will all have movie chips implanted in our brains.

Let’s just cross our fingers and hope the story telling remains exceptional.

I’ve got a good feeling about this. (See what I did there? Extra points if you get it.)

May the Fourth Be With You.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

So this is cool.

My calendar popped up a reminder: The Kid comes home no later than today.

And by today, I mean TODAY!

That is pretty wonderful.

Of course, by the time you actually get her, it will be practically tomorrow, but that’s OK. You’ll still be here.

For a while at least.

OhMyGoodness! I need to figure out menus! Because I’m pretty sure you’re going to want something more than bananas and yogurt while you’re here.

Yark!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I had a birthday. (You knew that.)

It wasn’t really my choice, but apparently I didn’t get a vote.

Most of my birthday was fabulous (and by “most” I mean 99.76%). Lots of people sent birthday wishes, Grandma found the World’s Best Birthday Card, and there were a couple of fabulous surprises during the day.

The teeny little problem is that I got older. When you’re your age, getting older isn’t a bad thing. It can even be a good thing. When you’re my age, getting older means wrinkles. And the older you get, the more “presents” the Wrinkle Fairy drops off.

Dang Wrinkle Fairy. And her cousin Gray Hair.

Most of my friends sent lovely wishes. Especially the ones confirming that I was only 29 (and therefore only entitled to a small drop off from the Wrinkle Fairy). A few people sent weirder messages reminding me that I am an Aging Human. One sent a message saying “Only 50 more birthdays until you can retire”. I kid you not. I still haven’t figured out what to think about that one.

Did I tell you that even Google knew it was my birthday? Is that cool or creepy? I’m just not sure.

On the whole, I think I’ll have another birthday next year.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Hee-Hee-Hee.

Giggle.

It’s International Moment of Laughter Day.

Snicker.

Which means you should take a moment to laugh, smile, and perhaps even chortle out loud.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Listen to jokes, tell jokes, just don’t be the subject of jokes.

Snigger.

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!

Guffaw.

I didn’t say they had to be good jokes.

OK, fine. Don’t like the joke idea? Watch a puppy chase his tail. Don’t have a puppy? Why do you think YouTube was invented?

Find something to laugh about today. It’s a holiday. Celebrate.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is National Sibling Day.

We don’t get to choose our siblings. We just “get” them. Or they get us, depending on how the timing works.

Whether we “get” (as in understand) them or not, depends on the siblings in question. And the questions the siblings ask.

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garretty

Many of us feel very protective of our sibs. We pick on our sibling, pushing every button possible (and a few we’re not entirely sure even exist), but if someone else even looks at our sibling cross-eyed, we slam into protective mode. As in, That’s MY sister—back off or DIE. Painfully. If there is any murdering to be done, I will be the one to do it, thank you very much.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. ~Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes brothers and sisters are best friends. Sometimes they’re best strangers. Most of the time they’re somewhere in between.

But the wonderful thing is that brothers and sisters are family. They’re part of the fabric of your life.

Call Text your sister.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I love Spring. There are pastel dresses, jelly beans, and Rogue 1 is out on DVD. What’s not to love?

But now Spring has taken things a Step Too Far.

Specifically, Peeps, the perennial Easter treat of sweetness and colors not found in nature, has gone Far Too Far.

Not only are there Oreo Peeps (please, Oreo—enough with the brand extensions already!) which someone was kind enough to share with me (and by “kind” I’m not entirely sure what I mean. It was really nice to offer, and I was intrigued. But then I ate one. I didn’t die, but a small part of my soul keeled over.).

Now there is also a Peeps beverage.

I use the word “beverage” carefully, hoping that I can fly under the beverage industry’s radar.

Peeps Orange Crème Flavored Milk is bad enough (at least they didn’t call it a Milk Beverage), but Peeps Egg Nog? Seriously? Isn’t that a case of holiday confusion? Isn’t that just one of those things we do not need in the Universe? And what’s with all the faux ingredients? (Although I must admit, I expected far more faux and far less milk on the ingredient list.)

The worst part is that is sounds delicious.

Love, Mom