This was supposed to publish on 10/31 but apparently didn’t. So pretend it’s a day or two ago….

Dear Kid,

It’s Halloween!

I was going to write a blog about the best Halloween costumes for college age kids, but A) I’ve done that and B) once you are college age and decide to dress up, you’re awesome, so who cares who’s best?

Then I thought I’d write a blog about the best Halloween candy. But A) I ate it all and B) there are lots of good kinds of Halloween candy (chocolate) and lots of meh Halloween candy (lollipops and Good and Plenty) but there generally isn’t GREAT Halloween candy (the really, really good chocolate). Also, if you’re in college and you’re dressing up, it’s a fair bet that your Halloween candy comes in a pint glass with a foamy top.

Then I thought I’d write a blog about the best Halloween pumpkins. But nothing can top helping you cut up a jack-o-lantern when you were little (wearing an apron and standing on a chair so you could reach inside to scoop it out), so been-there-done-that.

Besides, I broke a nail today, so I’m on the injured reserved list (see how I made a sports reference? Extra points for me!).

Have a wonderful, boo-filled, ghost-inhabited, candy-complete, costumed-out, batty Halloween!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

The tally:

14 ghosts

3 pirates

1 melted ice cream cone

2 roller skaters

A gaggle of witches

4 pumpkins

A graveyard of mummies, zombies, and vampires

5 super heroes

Too many princesses to count

1 dinosaur

A puppy

28 costumes I couldn’t identify

Barking every time someone came to the door

Cooing over the Puppy every time someone came to the door

483 pounds of chocolate

Happy Halloween!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you looked at a calendar? Of course you have, so you’re aware that next week is Halloween.

Also, you a student at Ohio University (motto: We’re here to celebrate Halloween!!!).

You’ve probably noticed that the grocery stores have replaced all the food with candy and all the home décor with pumpkins.

Small children are dreaming of ghosts. Large children are dreaming of zombies. Adults are dreaming of snagging the good candy out of the loot the children bring home. Puppies are dreaming of … I don’t know what, but they’re dreaming.

But do you know who’s most excited? The weight loss industry.

I think they have been (secretly) behind the fall feeding frenzy (tailgates-Halloween-T’giving-Xmas). They spend the fall months chubby-ing people up and the reset of the year helping us pretend we can get svelte again.

If only.

There are a lot of different kinds of Halloween candy. Some are great; some are only good.

What’s your favorite Halloween candy?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s Friday the 13^th!!

If you need me, my black cat and I will be under a ladder checking our makeup in a broken mirror, after which we’ll go inside and open an umbrella. Or two. Or three.

I will not, however, be watching scary movies. Not now, not ever.

I think there should be rules about what movies can be advertised when I’m watching TV. There are zillions of channels I don’t watch and hundreds of hours each month when I’m nowhere near television—they can advertise all the scary movies they want when I’m not around. When they show clips, I have stop watching and cover my eyes.

October brings out pink ribbons (good), pumpkin-spice (good in moderation), and a zillion and three scary movies (which as far as I’m concerned is a zillion and three too many).

The Puppy doesn’t like scary movies either.

He’s too busy trying to convince the black cat to be friends.

Love, Mom

P. S. For the record, the only black cat we have lives in my imagination.

Dear Kid,

It’s World Smile Day!

World Smile Day is about the yellow smiley face (which has spawned a thousand emojis). But I think it should be about…wait for it…smiling.

There is a lot of bad in the world right now. Some of it caused by Mother Nature, some of it cause by human inhabitants.

Meanwhile, the Happiness Fairy has taken to bed with a massive migraine and an Attitude that should really cause her Happy Certification to be revoked.

Since we don’t have a fairy raining down sparkles and glitter, we have to find our own. For some of us, that’s easy. Others of us struggle to find the tiniest thing to grin about.

One option is to imitate the Happiness Fairy and dive under the covers until she decides to return to work. Perhaps a better option is to pick up the wand she threw on the floor of the closet and spread a little happy around our own corner of the planet.

Smile at someone today. Smile at several someones! Grab some dragon sparkles and unicorn shine and …oh, just smile. Share your happy with someone who may be running short.

Celebrate the day with the traditional baring of the teeth. Grin. Smile. Smirk. Bring the LOL to life.

Have a great day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Happy October! And what a wonderful month October is.

October is (often) a month of perfect weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Chilly without being frozen—just right to warm up with a cup of coffee.

October is the month of little ghosties, and pink ribbons.

It’s Adopt a Shelter Dog Month and National Diabetes Month (perfect for the month with Halloween).

It’s Cookie Month (sugar free for the diabetics?), National Pizza Month, American Cheese Month (but not necessarily on the pizza), and National Vegetarian Month (skip the pepperoni).

It’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month, American Pharmacist Month, and Clergy Appreciation Month (thank you, clergy people).

It’s Sarcastic Month (but please don’t be sarcastic about domestic violence, pharmacists, or clergy).

It’s Bat Appreciation Month, and Caffeine Addiction Recovery (HA!) Month.

October is Spinach Lovers Month, Squirrel Awareness Month (we need a month to be aware of squirrels? What?), Raptor Month (can we combine them to be aware of Raptors eating squirrels? Because for sure the raptors aren’t eating spinach or vegetarian pizza).

It’s Toilet Tank Repair Month (I wish I were joking) and National Liver Awareness Month (are you ever really aware of your internal organs?), and National Dental Hygiene Month.

Whichever holidays you choose to celebrate (or be sarcastic about), have a wonderful October.

Love, Mom