Food

How to Tell You’ve Had Too Much Coffee

Dear Kid,

Yesterday I talked about how to know if you haven’t had enough coffee (11 Ways to Know You Haven’t Had Enough Coffee). Today, I thought I’d tell you about the flip side: How to Know When You’ve Had Too Much Coffee.

For example: When you’re shaky and jittery—and you can’t blame it on anticipation of the new Star Wars movie, you might have had too much coffee.

It's always coffee time. DearKidLoveMom.comOr when the nurse tries to draw blood and gets pure Arabica, you might have had too much coffee.

Stay warm with a cup of caffeine! DearKidLoveMom.comIf there’s no more coffee in the house. Or the coffee shop. Or the store. You might be drinking too much coffee.

Love me some coffee. DearKidLoveMom.comOh, who am I kidding. There is no such thing as too much coffee.

What a dumb idea.

Love, Mom

Share DearKidLoveMom.com with a friend. You can wait until you’ve had a little coffee; I’ll still be here.

More Mom Thoughts about coffee.

11 Ways to Tell You Haven’t Had Enough Coffee

What Time Is It? (Clocks and Other Coffee Considerations)

Spilled Coffee That’s Worth Crying Over

Study Shows Coffee Evaporates Faster Than Other Liquid

Blue Ref Jerseys, Know It Alls, and Coffee

There Is No Coffee in TEAm and Other Caffeinated News

National Coffee Day, Caffeinated Squirrel, and 7 Facts About Coffee

The Best Time for Donuts

Parsley, Sage, and Findlay Market

College Breakfast and Better Breakfast Month

The Universe Handed Me a Gift (Didn’t See This One Coming, Did You?)

Do You Have EE? How to Tell and 5 Ways to Treat It

Considering Housewarming Gifts

Seven Kinds of Cups (Bet You Don’t Know Them)

 

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11 Ways to Tell You Haven’t Had Enough Coffee

Dear Kid,

It is possible that some days you’ve had enough coffee. Today, I’m not there yet. I’ll get there, because I’m determined. I’m just that sort of mom.

In the meantime, here are 11 Ways to Tell You Haven’t Had Enough Coffee. (I’ve provided pictures in case you haven’t had enough coffee either.)

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can kill people just by looking at them.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can kill people just by looking at them. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when breathing requires all your concentration.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when breathing requires all your concentration. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when deciding which King to move in Solitaire is too daunting a decision.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when deciding which King to move in Solitaire is too daunting a decision. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when curling up with the puppy and going back to sleep is the only option.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when curling up with the puppy and going back to sleep is the only option. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when numbers look like little people dancing.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when numbers look like little people dancing. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when your eyelids weigh 50 lbs. Each.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when your eyelids weigh 50 lbs. Each. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when getting up seems so difficult you spend 5 minutes willing the coffee pot to deliver your next cup.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when getting up seems so difficult you spend 5 willing the coffee pot to deliver your next cup. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you ignore your cup and start drinking out of the pot.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you ignore your cup and start drinking out of the pot. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when someone says, “You look like you need a cup of coffee. Can I get one for you? My treat.”

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when someone says, “You look like you need a cup of coffee. Can I get one for you? My treat.” DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can convince people not to argue with you with one word: coffee.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you can convince people not to argue with you with one word: coffee. DearKidLoveMom.com

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you’re a college student and it’s finals week.

You know you haven’t had enough coffee when you’re a college student and it’s finals week. DearKidLoveMom.com

I’d write more, but my coffee is ready. Thank heavens.

Love, Mom

Share DearKidLoveMom.com with a friend. You can wait until you’ve had a little coffee; I’ll still be here.

More Mom Thoughts about coffee.

What Time Is It? (Clocks and Other Coffee Considerations)

Spilled Coffee That’s Worth Crying Over

Study Shows Coffee Evaporates Faster Than Other Liquid

Blue Ref Jerseys, Know It Alls, and Coffee

There Is No Coffee in TEAm and Other Caffeinated News

National Coffee Day, Caffeinated Squirrel, and 7 Facts About Coffee

The Best Time for Donuts

Parsley, Sage, and Findlay Market

College Breakfast and Better Breakfast Month

The Universe Handed Me a Gift (Didn’t See This One Coming, Did You?)

Do You Have EE? How to Tell and 5 Ways to Treat It

Considering Housewarming Gifts

Seven Kinds of Cups (Bet You Don’t Know Them)

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The Unknown Origin of the Game of Dreidel DearKidLoveMom Style

Dear Kid,

Many people (and by “many people” I mean absolutely no one) have been asking about the origins of the game of dreidel. DearKidLoveMom.comMany people (and by “many people” I mean absolutely no one) have been asking about the origins of the game of dreidel.

Interestingly, the explanations provided by My Friend the Internet are astoundingly boring.

Therefore, I have done my own unique and independent scientific research (by which I mean I made it up out of thin air and a desire to have something to publish) as to the origins of the game.

It turns out that dreidel was invented by a very nice lady by the name of Leah Zimmerman. (You thought I was going to say Mrs. Joe Neanderthal? Don’t be silly.)

Leah was a very nice lady who regularly cooked latkes for her family during Hanukkah. But Leah had a problem. Leah lived in Once Upon a Time time. And everyone knows that Way Back Then there weren’t freezers. Which meant that you couldn’t cook latkes ahead of time and freeze them. You had to cook them right before you wanted to eat them.

The thing about cooking latkes is that they take A Long Time To Cook. No matter how you fry them, it takes a while to convince potatoes not to be raw. Potatoes are stubborn; that’s just the way it is.

And the thing about the people waiting to eat the latkes is that they are hungry. Not just your average, ordinary hungry, but starving-to-death-and-I-can-smell-latkes-cooking hungry. Which of course means hungry and whiny.

You think “Are we there yet?” can get annoying? It’s nothing compared to “Are they ready yet? How about now? Now? Ok, How about now?”

Leah Zimmerman was a very good cook, and she was a woman who knew perfectly well that latkes simply can’t be rushed. They will be ready when they are ready and not a moment sooner.

She was also a smart lady who prepared for the long wait by have a list of Things for her children To Do while they waited for dinner.

But Leah Zimmerman made a mistake.

She did not account for her children becoming more efficient at task completion as they got older. And unfortunately, while they got faster at completing chores, they did not become correspondingly more patient about waiting to be fed.

So Leah’s children ran out of Things To Do While Waiting. They decided to bother their mother. She decided she had no interest in being bothered. “Go play,” said Leah to her children.

For a brief moment there was silence as the children considered and then rejected this invitation. “What are we supposed to play?” they asked.

For a brief moment there was silence as Leah considered this question and her children stared expectantly at her. “Go play Dreidel,” said Leah.

“What is Dreidel?” the children asked since dreidel hadn’t been invented yet.

“Come, I will show you,” said Leah, giving the latkes a meaningful look (the meaning was “you’d best keep cooking nicely without burning while I attend to these children”).

The first game of dreidel involved lots of complicated rules that Leah made up as she went along. But a tradition was born.

And the latkes were smart enough not to burn.

Now you know.

Love, Mom

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Thanksgiving Weekend Is Ending

Dear Kid,

Hope you had a good Thanksgiving! Happy Turkey! DearKidLoveMom.comThe Thanksgiving weekend is officially ending today. Which is good, because even while we enjoyed every minute of visiting and eating (and eating and eating) we (the collective we) need time to slim back down before the next holiday feast arrives. Which it will. Sooner than my waist will be ready.

Unofficially of course the weekend continues. The shopping, the football, the leftovers (well, not so much in the way of leftovers), the shopping, the traveling, and did I mention the shopping?

Tomorrow is Cyber Monday, but many retailers are offering online deals starting tonight. You should ignore all of them because you are a college student and therefore you should be A) studying and B) hoarding your pennies to pay for things like food.

Some of us have eaten enough wonderful food in the last several days to last us a while. You, however, are a metabolic machine and need to be fed on a regular basis. By not shopping online you can stretch your budget further (more about that tomorrow from our special guest blogger) and avoid all the malware that is expected to hit the web tomorrow.

It’s been wonderful having a few days to spend with you. You are a Most Wonderful Child Adult Child and it is always good to have time to visit.

Love, Mom

 

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How to Carve a Turkey | Eat It Any Way You Want

Dear Kid,

Continuing our theme of Thanksgiving food (hadn’t noticed the theme? We talked about Weird Thanksgiving foods and apple pie so far this week), it seems time to talk turkey about turkeys.

Assuming you’re having turkey and not pizza, that is.

Since it’s Thanksgiving, it’s a good bet there is a bird in your near future. It’s also a good bet that many people will hack their bird to unattractive pieces.

Speaking as a hacker, I can attest to the truism that bird tastes just as good no matter how pretty the slices are.

But as many people are quick to point out, we also eat with our eyes, and there are extra points for pretty.

So, being the kind of mom I am, I found a great video of How to Carve a Turkey just for you.

Now you know. So next year, you can plan to carve the bird.

Love, Mom

More about Turkeys from DearKidLoveMom.com

Weird Thanksgiving Food, Pizza, and Talking Turkeys

Puppy Conversations | Puppy Talks Turkey

Happy Almost Turkey Day | How DKLM Helps in Office Trivia

Turkey Tryouts | How to Pick the Best Bird

Happy Thanksgiving | 12 Things You Always Wanted to Know About Turkeys

Turkey and Technology

Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down

Puppy Conversations | Puppy Discusses Thanksgiving Leftovers

The Discovery of Tryptophan, Leftovers, and a Good Nap

Eating Through Canada | Wonder of Wonder, Meal of Meals

Weird Thanksgiving Facts

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Apple Pie and Coffee. And Yum.

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as apple pie. That was because no one had ever eaten an apple. Then Eve took a bite and said, “Well, now I know what to do with all that pastry.” See? It really was the tree of knowledge.

Ever since then, people have been baking apple pies of various and sundry varieties.

Mrs. Joe Neanderthal was not a huge fan of pies. When one of her children started whining for an apple pie, she put an apple on his head, smashed it down, and said, “Pie-shmy.” Incidentally, that was how apple sauce was invented.

Other people love apple pie, no matter what shape it’s in. Round pie, square pie, McDonald’s (a pie shape unto itself), apple pie is as American as, well, apple pie.

In a highly scientific survey, I have determined that the most popular apple pie (according to Most Americans) is the one in front of them. Followed closely by the one behind them.

The only thing the different kinds of apple pie have in common is “apples.” Other than that, they are as different as can be.

Some apple pies have two crusts. Some have one. Some have one and a half (a lattice). Some don’t really have a crust at all, more of a crumble top (I like those best). Some have cinnamon (we don’t speak of the ones that don’t). Some have raisins (YUM!). Some are fried. Some are made right in the apple (which seems like cheating to me).

Some have bourbon (Yum!), some have caramel (Yum!). Some are deep dish, some are more tart-like, some are in a traditional pie plate.

Some are served with whipped cream, some are served with ice cream, some are served with cheddar cheese, some are served with coffee (yay!).

According to my research, there are only two possible problems with apple pie. 1. It almost never has chocolate in it. 2. It might not be served.

All in all, apple pie is a pretty good way to eat your fruit.

Love, Mom

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