Dear Kid,

Mom is cooking. And she’s not sharing.

Even though I’ve asked very nicely.

I think her exact words were, “Puppy, go write to the Kid about it because you are not getting any of this chicken.”

Or something like that.

So just to show that I’m a good boy, I decided to write to you.

Today was a very exciting day. It started when Mom woke me up (she wasn’t cooking then) and we snuggled before I took her for a morning walk. She likes to think she wakes me up, but really I’m wide awake the minute she gets out of bed. I just like to lie quietly in my blankets and let her think she’s waking me up because she needs jobs like that.

After our walk, I had breakfast. Do you know what breakfast is? It’s FOOD! Which is de-li-shus.

Then I chewed on my chipmunk toy while mom went upstairs. It was Very Important Chewing, but I kept an ear open in case there were Intruders. Or someone dropping food. (There weren’t any Intruders today, but don’t worry—I’m guarding the house.)

Then I took a nap, because breakfast and chewing are very tiring.

When I finished that nap, I turned around and took another one. Naps are something I practice every day, and I am very good at them. I would be happy to teach you how to nap if you’d like. You let all of you go to sleep EXCEPT for one ear, because you never know what might happen. Be sure to turn around every now and then so your other ear can listen and your first ear can sleep.

After my naps, I did a bit of this and a bit of that (although not really very much of that), and then everyone came home and now there is COOKING and My Nose Is Going to Explode and No One Cares!!!

I think you should come home from college and feed me.

Love, Puppy

And that’s exactly what I found on my computer.

Love, Mom

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