Dear Kid,

Sometimes one wonders. Sometimes one knows for sure. I know that Dad and I are Sweeties. But sometimes it’s not easy to remember.

Then he goes and pulls a Grand Gesture and reminds me all over again why he’s such a great hubby.

Just for the record, trying to pilot a tandem kayak when it is clearly my job to pilot the craft is not what I’m talking about.

Having our cabin on the cruise decorated for our anniversary and a cake waiting when we boarded is.

So is sneaking up to the art auction to buy a Romero Britto. (I felt quite comfortable investing in three Britto magnets for about $6 each when we were in Miami. He surprised me with a limited edition piece of art for me. Grand Gesture!)

Here’s the fun part. He didn’t tell me he’d purchased it. During dinner (Valentine’s Day, no less) he told me about the auction, described some of the pieces for sale, told me about some of the sky-high and waist-high prices, and talked about some of the auctioneer’s antics. After dinner, he wanted to show me some of the pieces he described, so we went by the art gallery. He pointed to a Britto that I’d previously admired and said, “Oh look. It sold.” (There was a sold sign on the frame.)

I looked at the Britto. I looked at him.

The penny dropped. I whispered, “You didn’t.” He nodded. I squealed.

Then I squealed a couple more times for good measure.

(I’m still squealing. But on the inside. Where it counts.)

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

We take a break from Cruise reporting (there’s more to come – I know you were worried), to talk more about air travel.

Specially, air travel to Las Vegas.

Even more specifically, cheap air travel to Las Vegas.

And by cheap I mean $59 one way.

Which is cheap.

And I do mean “cheap”. Not “a great value”. Not “a low price”. Cheap.

On the flight, the crew came by for drink service. I asked for a cup of coffee. Nope, they don’t have hot coffee, just iced coffee. O-key. But I’d have to pay for a can of iced cappuccino. Um, no.

I’ll just take a cup of water.

They explained that I was welcome to pay for water. I thanked them kindly and mentally patted myself on the back for bringing a bottle of water with me.

Did I mention the cost for checking a suitcase? $50. Yep. Almost as much as the ticket.

On the other hand, I got to Vegas on a direct flight. So did my suitcase. And my water bottle (even though it was empty by the time we landed).

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You know how sometimes life can be confusing? You don’t know whether you’re coming or going or which way is up. While I can’t solve all the problems in The Universe, I can help with one of the biggest challenges: figuring out whether you’re on a cruise.

1. The comedians all get way too much mileage out of the phrase “drink package.”
2. There are signs reminding you that the fish woven into the carpeting are swimming to the front of the boat.
3. The room is swaying and you haven’t yet begun taking advantage of the “drink package.”
4. No one ever says, “Why isn’t there any food available?”
5. The towels take it upon themselves to show up in animal form. (Just wait–there’s more coming about towel animals.)
6. Booze (in all forms) is far more plentiful than water (see “drink package”).
7. You can (and do) eat six desserts (at breakfast) and no one blinks.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I have now kayaked in the ocean.

One of the excursions we took was an adventure in a tandem clear-bottom kayak which – as the name implies – involved kayaking in a vessel with a clear bottom.

We made three stops along the reef in Costa Maya, Mexico. It was amazing how much we could see through the bottom of the boat.

Unfortunately, early, early, early in the morning as we approached Costa Maya, there was Weather. I slept through it, but it must have been pretty significant because the ship actually missed the dock and had to go out and try again. (Three points for exhaustion!) The Weather bothered me not at all since I was fast asleep. But it washed a ton of sea grass up onto the shore (which according to our excursion operator is usually pristine).

Up and down the coast, people were raking up the sea grass and hauling it away by the wheelbarrow-full. Up and down the excursion, guides were apologizing for Mother Nature. It was gorgeous (even with the sea grass) and it was adorable that the locals felt so badly that Mama N had misbehaved for our visit.

Personally, I felt that if she had to throw a fit it was very kind of her to get it done with before we went ashore.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Part of being on the cruise (as an anniversary present to ourselves) involved pampering ourselves.

Not only did we eat and drink to our happy hearts content, we indulged in pampering activities.

We had a couple’s massage which basically meant we got a massage at the same time and they had us hold hands at the very end. It was Dad’s first massage ever. He seems unscathed. Maybe even content.

I went to the Fish Spa in Costa Maya. Do you remember the episode from Victorious where they all go to the place where you put your feet in water and tiny little fish nibble away all your calluses? This was like that except not.

First they scrubbed my feet and shins (clearly this was all about taking off enough skin ahead of time so that the fish would be safe and healthy). Once they’d scrubbed down to sinew, I got to put my feet into the fish-quarium. It felt like tiny vibrations. (I was assured that they fish were not piranhas and wouldn’t bite, just kiss.) It tickled.

The fishies did not get rid of all my callouses. (But it’s not clear that a buzz saw could get rid of my calluses, so I consider it a win.)

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

We went to our first cruise champagne art auction. They had some really great art on board (Agam, Britto, Maxx).

These were not the pieces they were giving away cheap.

These were pieces that were price to take up our entire food budget for the next 18 years. Since I feel strongly about being fed, we did not invest.

But I drooled.

Extensively. (And expensively.)

And we won a bottle of champagne in the raffle. So there were plenty of bubbles to smile about.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s hard not to love breakfast buffets on a cruise. Unless you’re looking for leftover Chinese takeout.

The variety and abundance are wonderfully astounding. Unless you’re looking for cold pizza.

Of course it’s not always easy to know what things are. Dad sat down with something he told me was a scuffle. It was an egg-spinach-potato concoction. I later realized the “c” was actually an “o” on the sign and Dad’s breakfast became a soufflé.

There were a number of vegetarian (perhaps Indian?) dishes that I’d never heard of as well as the more traditional eggs (available 4,000 ways), oatmeal and grits (hot), muesli (cold), French toast, pancakes, waffles (pancakes with abs), pitzellas (really), muffins, fruit, yogurt, breakfast meats (available 40,000 ways), etc. You name it, they had it.

Except for figs.

And restraint. There wasn’t a bit of restraint in evidence.

But there was lots of Yum.

Love, Mom