Dear Kid,

Puppy: THERE ARE PEOPLE AT THE DOOR!!
Me: I know
Puppy: THERE ARE PEOPLE AT THE DOOR!!!!!
Me: I know. We need to let them in
Puppy: STRANGERS! STRANGER DANGER!!
Me: They aren’t strangers. It’s Nancy and Tim
Puppy: THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE!!! ALERT! ALERT! THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE!!!
Me: Yes, and you know these people
Puppy: I don’t know these people
Me: It’s been a while but you do know these people
Puppy: THERE ARE SUITCASES IN THE HOUSE!!! CALL THE BOMB SQUAD! WAIT! I AM THE BOMB SQUAD!
Me: Say hello nicely
Puppy: I’m sniffing for bombs
Me: You are not sniffing for bombs
Puppy: I’m sniffing
Me: You don’t know what a bomb smells like
Puppy: IT’S AN INVASION!!! ALERT THE NEIGHBORS! MAN THE LIFEBOATS!!
Me: Behave yourself
Puppy: THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE!!!!
Me: They are nice people. They are our friends
Puppy: Really?
Me: Really
Puppy: Want to scratch my tummy?

Puppy: Hello
Tim: Hello
Puppy: Would you like to feed me?
Me: You’re being watched
Tim: I can tell
Me: He’s hoping you don’t know the rules
Puppy: Stop talking!
Me: Or that you’re a messy eater
Tim: He’s very hopeful
Puppy: I would like some dinner
Me: You had dinner
Puppy: I would like some of THIS dinner
Tim: Should I tell him I know not to feed him from the table?
Puppy: WHAT???? Who are these people you invited and why do they know the rules??

Puppy: Mom
Me: At the dinner table
Puppy: Mom
Me: Go play
Puppy: M.o.m.
Me: What?
Puppy: Scratch me
Me: We’re at the dinner table
Puppy: OK. Feed me.

Nancy: He really is a cute little thing isn’t he?
Puppy: Yes, I am
Nancy: He’s very hopeful about food isn’t he?
Puppy: Yes, I am
Nancy: But he’s a very good dog
Puppy: I’ll eat some of your dinner very nicely if you share
Me: Don’t encourage him
Nancy: Not me
Puppy: What’s going on? Do you hand out rules before people come to visit??

Having a great visit with Nancy and Tim. Hope your weekend is great too.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast
• Puppy Conversations | Mom Has a Headache and Puppy Tries to Help
• Puppy Conversations | Discussing Halloween

Dear Kid,

It’s almost Halloween. Actually, I’m pretty sure you’ve already had one Halloween weekend but maybe not. Or maybe you get a second one.

I decided I’d better have a conversation with the Puppy about the approaching festivities.

Me: Friday is Halloween
Puppy: And I will howl
Me: You will not howl
Puppy: You said it was Howloween! And I’m very good at howling
Me: No howling
Puppy: This is going to be confusing, isn’t it?
Me: Lots of children will knock on our door
Puppy: And I will bark
Me: That’s what I wanted to talk to you about
Puppy: You finally want to learn how to bark?
Me: Not exactly. I don’t want you to bark
Puppy: Do you see anyone else around here who is going to do the barking? I will bark
Me: I don’t think barking is necessary
Puppy: Barking is ALWAYS necessary!!!
Me: But these are friendly children
Puppy: They will come inside and play?
Me: No. They will say Trick or Treat
Puppy: That doesn’t sound friendly. I will bark
Me: No barking. When they say Trick or Treat we will give them candy
Puppy: And then they will come in and play?
Me: No, then they will leave
Puppy: Let me get this straight. No howling, no barking, no playing, but they get treats?
Me: Right
Puppy: And then they just leave?
Me: Right
Puppy: That is ridiculous
Me: That is Halloween
Puppy: Mom?
Me: Yes, pumpkin?
Puppy: Trick or treat
Me: You need a treat?
Puppy: I think I do
Me: Come on, good boy, let’s get you a treat
Puppy: A Treat!! A Treat!!! I love Treats!!!
Me: Here you go, sweetie
Puppy: Mom?
Me: Yes, baby?
Puppy: I’m still going to bark
Me: I was pretty sure you would
Puppy: And you love me anyway
Me: I absolutely love you anyway
Puppy: Enough for another treat?
Me: No more treats
Puppy: Sigh

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast
• Puppy Conversations | Mom Has a Headache and Puppy Tries to Help

Dear Kid,

A few days ago…

Puppy: Mommy?
Me: shhh
Puppy: pssst. Mom?
Me: I have a headache, honey
Puppy: You’re lying on the floor
Me: My head hurts, sweetie. I just need some quiet right now.
Puppy: I can take care of you
Me: That’s very sweet
Puppy: Would you like to snuggle?
Me: That would be nice.
Puppy: OK…(sigh)
Puppy: Mom, I hear something
Me: shhh
Puppy: Really, I hear something
Me: Honey, hush
Puppy: I’ll check it out
Me: Please do it quietly
Puppy: It’s Tal! It’s Tal!
Tal: Hi, Booker
Puppy: Tal! TAL! TAL! I’ll get my new toy! (Squeak)
Me: arrrrrggggh
Puppy: EVERYONE BE QUIET!!! MOMMY HAS A HEADACHE!!!! QUIET! QUIET! QUIET!!
Me: errrrr…
Puppy: Wait!!! I hear something!!! Pi is home!!!
Pi: Hellloooooo
Puppy: SOMEONE IS HERE SOMEONE IS HERE SOMEONE IS HERE
Pi: Stop barking, it’s just me
Puppy: YOU’RE HOME YOU’RE HOME!!
Tal: Silly Booker
Me: mmmffff
Pi: Why are you barking?
Puppy: MOM HAS A HEADACHE!!! EVERYONE BE QUIET!!!
Pi: Then why is Dad crashing dishes in the kitchen
Dad: I’m not crashing dishes. I’m cleaning up
Puppy: And I’m helping Mommy
Me: I could use less help
Puppy: I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU
Me: Come over here and snuggle me. Quietly.
Puppy: I love you
Me: I know
Puppy: Do you feel better?
Me: I will. In just a little while
Puppy: I can take care of you
Me: Just do it quietly, ok?
Puppy: What do you mean? I’m Always quiet. Silly mommy.

Feeling much better today.

Love, Mom

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath
• Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan) for Breakfast

Dear tall Kid,

Mom’s computer connection isn’t working quite right today, so I sat very nicely for a picture.

Love, Mom Booker

Dear Kid,

I had fudge for breakfast. This may not seem very important, I know. And it really isn’t. But here’s what happened.

The other night after dinner, Pi said, “I think we should make something yummy.”

Me: Don’t you have homework?
Puppy: I like yummy things
Pi: Just a little
Puppy: I can help! I can help!
Me: You’d best do your homework
Pi: Then can we make something yummy?
Puppy: I really, really love yummy things!
Me: Why don’t you finish your homework and then see what you think you’d like to make and come show me.
Pi: OK
Puppy: Ok! I will think of lots of yummy things. They all sound delicious! I think my head will explode.

About half an hour later, I was presented with a multi-post-it-noted cookbook. Pi took me through the options, with the Puppy explaining why each one was the Best Possible One.

Finally, we decided to make her #1 pick: Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan variety).

Here is how you make Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge (vegan variety):

Puppy: I love peanut butter
Me: I know you do
Puppy: Can I have some?
Me: We’ll see
Pi: But no chocolate for you
Puppy: Of course not. Puppies can’t have chocolate. I’ll just have two peanut butters please
Me: We’ll see

First you read the ingredients. When you realize you don’t have all the ingredients you turn your puppy eyes (“My puppy eyes?” “No, Pi’s puppy eyes” “Oh. I thought I was in the story” “You are in the story. Just not this part of the story.” “But later?” “Absolutely.”) you turn your puppy eyes on your daddy and implore him to make a trip to the super market.

Once you have Ingredients, measure 1 ¾ Cups of dairy-free chocolate chips into a cup. You will only need 1 ½ cup, but this way there are plenty for snacking on until you get to that part. Note: You can find dairy-free chocolate chips. It’s just not easy.

Have the child measure 1 cup of vegan margarine and 1 cup of creamy peanut butter into a saucepan. (“And I watch.” “Yes, you watch very carefully.”) Whisk the margarine and the peanut butter over low heat until smooth. (“Still watching!!”)

Meanwhile, line an 8” pan with foil. Amaze child with the trick of molding it over the bottom so it fits on the inside.

Meanwhile, have the child get out the mixer. In retrospect, I don’t think a mixer is necessary at all, but we were (more or less) following the recipe since it was the first time we’d made it.

Measure 3 Cups of powdered sugar into the mixer bowl.

When the peanut butter and margarine are smooth (it doesn’t take very long), whisk in 1 teaspoon of vanilla. Make a note to add vanilla to the shopping list.

Pour the vanilla-peanut butter-margarine mixture over the powdered sugar. Hand mix until there is little risk of a powdered sugar cloud engulfing the entire kitchen. Then turn on the mixer to finish mixing. If you’re using the mixer. Otherwise, just stir. Press the yumminess into the pan.

Pi: This is really good
Puppy: Do I get to taste? Do I get to taste? What about me?
Me: Maybe later
Puppy: I like now better
Pi: Oops. Dropped a little piece
Puppy: I GOT IT! I GOT IT! YUM!!!

Melt 1 ½ Cups of dairy-free chocolate chips (see how nicely that worked out?) and ½ Cup of almond milk (or soy or rice) and whisk over low heat until it’s all melty and smooth. (“And I watch.”)

Remove from heat and mix into 1 ½ Cups of powdered sugar and 2 Tablespoons of cocoa powder. The original recipe says to use the mixer to do it. We decided a whisk would work just fine. (“And I watch.”) Decide the mixture needs to be whisked a bit more and hand the job over to the child. While she whisks, offer the measuring cup that had the peanut butter to the puppy. (“I knew it! I knew it! I love this!!!!! I am a good boy!!!”)

Pour the chocolate mixture on top of the peanut butter stuff. If you’re following the recipe, top with ½ Cup of chopped roasted peanuts. If you’re us, don’t.

Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

Wonder how you ever lived without this fudge.

Then wonder why on earth you just ate fudge for breakfast.

Decide to ponder once the sugar shock wears off.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see

• Puppy Conversations and Food Observations
• Spring Puppy Conversations
• New Puppy Conversations
• Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside
• Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid
• Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer
• Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness
• Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning
• Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?
• Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party
• Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of
• Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope
• National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say
• Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal
• The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House
• October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement
• Puppy Tries to Talk His Way Out of a Bath

Dear Kid,

Puppy: Mommy. We need to talk.
Me: We do?
Puppy: I heard you talking to Pi
Me: Yes?
Puppy: And you said that it was better to explain why she didn’t want to do something rather than just saying she didn’t want to
Me: Very true
Puppy: And to explain the good parts and the icky parts
Me: Still true
Puppy: So I made a list
Me: You what?
Puppy: Made a list
Me: Of?
Puppy: Why I don’t like baths
Me: I can hardly wait. Do tell.
Puppy: I like the cheese afterward. But I’m a big boy and I think I should get two pieces of cheese.
Me: One piece it is
Puppy: And I like when you tell me I’m a good doggy.
Me: You are a Most Excellent Beast
Puppy: I like snuggling. And I like when I get you wet and you squeak.
Me: I’m sure other people share your joy
Puppy: But I don’t like the water
Me: Hard to see how we’ll manage a bath without water
Puppy: I don’t like the shampoo. It’s cold.
Me: I am not going to microwave the shampoo
Puppy: And the linens. I don’t like having you wash my blankets
Me: Why not?
Puppy: Because then they smell CLEAN! And I don’t like it when you wash my tail.
Me: It’s a part that has to get washed
Puppy: No, I don’t think there are any parts that HAVE to get washed
Me: Don’t think we’re going to agree on that one
Puppy: I like it when you dry me, but you should do it faster. Much faster.
Me: So you can get to the cheese more quickly?
Puppy: The two pieces of cheese
Me: One
Puppy: So I think it would be better if we just snuggle and have cheese and skip the water and shampoo part
Me: You do
Puppy: Yes. I think that is an excellent idea
Me: It certainly is interesting
Puppy: Oh, good
Pi: Be carefully, fuzzy boy. In Mom World “interesting” doesn’t mean she agrees
Puppy: WHAT? That doesn’t seem right
Pi: Trust me
Me: Have you finished telling me the list?
Puppy: Why?
Me: It’s bath time
Puppy: I’m pretty sure I have to take a nap. I have to chew a toy. I have somewhere to be
Me: That “somewhere” is your bath
Puppy: Maybe we should review the list again
Me: Sure. We can discuss it while you’re in the bath
Puppy: But no water and no shampoo, right?
Me: No water and no shampoo until it’s time for water and shampoo
Puppy: I don’t like baths. I am not a water dog
Me: But very soon you will be a clean dog
Puppy: This conversation worked out much better in my head
Me: I love you too, sweetie. You are a Most Excellent Beast
Puppy: I am a good boy
Me: You are. Please lift your paw so I can wash it

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside, Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid, Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer, Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness, Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning, Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?, Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party, Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of, Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope, National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say, Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal, The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House, and October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month |Puppy Has an Announcement