Dear Kid,

I love the Huffington Post. They generally have all kinds of great stuff—interesting, well-written, factual, fun.

But the latest article about coffee (click here to read it) is just plain crazy talk.

Not all of the article is absurd. Some of it is spot on. For example, it says that a cup of coffee at Stbx (Starbucks for the uninitiated) is about double that of a cup of coffee from Dunkin’. I’ve said for years that Starbucks decaf has more caffeine than most regular cups of coffee, so I know they’re right.

The problem is that the article starts off by saying that one is not supposed to have coffee first thing in the morning. Says your aunt in Cleveland, “I started twitching when I read that…”

Well, yeah.

The article says you should wait until about 10am to have coffee because that’s when your cortisol levels start to dip.

Cortisol shmortizol. That only makes sense if you sleep until 10am or so.

I know there are people who don’t need coffee first thing in the morning (looking at you SLB).

I know I certainly don’t need coffee right away. (HA!) It’s a choice. A lifestyle choice. I could happily wait until at least 10 minutes after falling out of bed for my coffee.

Otherwise,

Don’t Mess With The Caffeine Addiction!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Well, the To Do is still staring me in the face and the elves haven’t shown up to help get any of the work done. One of these days I am going to find good, hardworking, loyal elves and I will have a clean house and finished tasks. Until then, I have a house and unfinished tasks.

Dad and I spent part of this morning cleaning in the kitchen. Yesterday, he and I went to a home remodeling show where we saw lots of things we like and pretty much nothing we can afford. Shocker, I know. We decided cleaning the kitchen would be an excellent place to start. We managed to get the center island clean and the dishes in the sink dealt with before we lost steam and interest.

The good news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is annoyed with the other about not cleaning any more.

The bad news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is still cleaning even though there is a great deal more to do.

Sigh.

I’m giving away a giant hug to anyone who can teach me how to make perfect medium boiled eggs—every time. I keep having the problem of the white sticking to the shell so that I end up with only half an egg. Life is tough.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You may not have heard, but January is National Oatmeal Month. Which means it is time for breakfast and to learn interesting facts about oatmeal. (Thanks to the Whole Grain Council’s website for some of these delicious facts. Did you know there was a Whole Grain Council? Now you do.)

Samuel Johnson’s 1755 dictionary defined oats as “A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people.” The Scotsman’s retort to this was, “That’s why England has such good horses, and Scotland has such fine men!”

Only 5% of oats grown in the world are eaten by humans. Which (according to oatmeal lovers) probably means that horses are being fed better than we are. And if you consider some of the stuff we humans eat (like fast food and kale) they are probably right.

From the Interesting Facts File: there is a city in Texas named Oatmeal. Nearby is a city called Bertram where they have an annual Oatmeal Festival. Really. A festival dedicated to oatmeal. (It started as a spoof of the zillions of chili cook-offs in Texas.)

An 18-ounce package of old fashioned oats contains about 26,000 rolled oats. No idea who did the counting.

Not only is oatmeal an excellent choice for breakfast, cookies, muffins, bread, and a host of other yummies we know about, oatmeal is often used in the food industry as a stabilizer in foods like ice cream. Which means you can now feel quite virtuous getting your ice cream fix.

Early introduction of oats in children’s diets may help reduce their risk of asthma.

If you’re not hungry, you can certainly choose to wear your oats. Oats have a natural anti-itching property and are used in many lotions to calm irritated skin. (Fun fact: the name “Aveeno” comes from the botanical name avena, for oats. Bet you didn’t know that.)

Or you can read by oatmeal. Not really, but a project at the University of Iowa (in conjunction with – wait for it – Quaker) is using oat hulls (the parts we don’t eat) to generate energy. Kinda neat, huh? You can read about the project here.

In Britain, a warming and nourishing oatmeal broth drink was traditionally made from oat husks soaked until they soured; it was called “sowans” in Scotland, and “brewis” in Wales.

There are a zillion (I counted) health benefits associated with eating oatmeal. According to My Friend the Internet, oatmeal can solve (or radically reduce the effects of) every major disease known to man including paper cuts (actually, I made that part up – but maybe it can…).

Many people consider oatmeal brulée the ultimate porridge: picture a thick bowl of oatmeal topped with a thin layer of caramelized sugar and some fresh berries.

Of course, the big question about oatmeal is: How do you eat yours? Plain? Instant? Topped with berries, brown sugar, raisins, maple syrup? Rolled or steel cut? There are a lot of options in Oatmeal Eating World.

But I don’t have time to discuss them because I’m off to make – you guessed it – oatmeal for breakfast.

Love, Mom

Share DearKidLoveMom.com — everyone can use a little Mom love and humor!

Dear Kid,

The world has now officially come to the end of its technological rationality.

Many people think that happened a long time ago, but I can now officially (and by “officially” I mean I’m saying it) report that the technology world has gone on-beyond, way beyond, beyond beyond rationality.

It seems not everyone is a certified mixologist and – wait for it – there’s an app for that. At least there will be in June.

Not an app where you can look up whatever drink you want and get the recipe; no, that might make sense. And probably already exists.

Created by a new company called Bernooli (here’s the article), this new app talks to your liquor bottles. Think more silent R2D2 rather than C3PO, but there is communication.

The idea is that you get the free app and then buy the kits. You need smart spouts which live on your bottles and communicate with the app.

Want to make a drink? Tell the app, and the bottles will light up, in the correct order, and measure the amount you’re supposed to use as you pour.

Before you race out and spend your hard earned pennies, be aware that the smart spouts aren’t going to be available until December, that they aren’t cheap, and that they don’t come with a bartender to talk to.

L’Chaim.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s NATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY!!!!

And yes, National Chocolate Day is worth caps and all those exclamation points.

As we have previously discussed, chocolate is (without a doubt) one of the most important major food groups. Especially if it is dark chocolate. And in front of me. And I don’t have to arm wrestle anyone for it.

Chocolate (as I might have mentioned once or twice) is good for you. Pure cocoa actually helps prevent tooth decay. Turns out that some of the chemicals in cocoa fight mouth bacteria—sort of an oral light saber battle. One wonders why there isn’t chocolate toothpaste… (Looking at you, Colgate and Crest.)

There’s been a lot of research on chocolate (I conduct research every day, testing to see if it will eliminate the need to color my hair). While research has not (yet) proven that chocolate can compete with Clairol, researchers (not me) have shown that chocolate helps skin! German scientists have shown that flavonoids in chocolate “absorb UV light, which helps protect and increase blood flow to the skin, ultimately improving its appearance.” Hershey’s can add a whole new product line of acne-fighting candy.

One chocolate chip can give a person enough energy to walk 150 feet.

According to some Eeyore-ish scientists who probably haven’t had their daily chocolate fix, it is possible to die if you eat too much chocolate. Well duh. Turns out that if you power snarf 22 pounds of chocolate, you’ll ingest enough theobromine to end up on a slab. Stick with a daily ration of 21 pounds and you won’t die. But by the time you do kick off they’ll need an extra-reinforced table. Maybe a little less is sufficient.

Dark chocolate is especially beneficial. Dark chocolate boosts memory, attention span, ability to tolerate boring meetings, reaction time, problem-solving skills, vision, blood pressure, shopping endurance, mood, platelet function, and ability to write blogs.

I’d tell you more, but I need to go stock up on my daily allotment.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

There is no letter today (except the letter “Q” brought to you by Sesame Street).

Last night was taken up with

1. Making dinner
2. Helping Pi study for her accounting exam
3. Snuggling the Puppy

And dessert. There was excellent dessert.

And a soccer game. With a surprising upset. (Sorry. I won’t talk about that.)

And a little bit of late night TV. With a commercial (for cars, but don’t ask which one because I don’t remember) that used “winter” as a verb. As in, “Get ready to winter.”

Doesn’t that sound like something out of a romance novel? “Lord and Lady Beauford felt it was their duty to winter at their country estate, near the river where Beaufords had held property for 17 generations.”

Who knew you could use “to winter” in a modern car commercial? Clearly not someone who has eaten too much dessert and helped a child construct a fictional balance sheet and income statement. (Don’t even pretend that “U. O. Mee Industries” is a real company. And yes, we put that entry under accounts payable.)

Have a great day, sweetie.

Love, Mom