Dear Kid,

Spring has arrived in Cincinnati. I know this because

1. It’s warm enough outside to go for a walk without a jacket
2. Stores are showing Spring clothes
3. The crocuses are out!

I love crocuses. Partly because I really like those little guys, but mostly because they chirp “Spring is here!”

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”  ~Robin Williams

Can flowers chirp? I don’t know why not. Writers talking about flowers screaming in bright summer colors, or whispering their final secrets in the fall. I’m good with chirping crocuses.

Earth laughs in flowers. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pretty soon, not only will we have warm sun and happy crocuses, we’ll have buds on trees, and dinner on the porch, and our lawn will turn from the dead-brown of winter into something lush and green.

And by “something” I mean “weed-filled.”

I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers. ~Claude Monet

I know that spring also means allergies and rain and mud and eventually August heat, but right now it’s easy to forget about all that.

And to just smile back at the crocuses.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I’m done with winter.

I know it’s still February. I know winter goes through March (no matter what Phil predicts).

But regardless of what the calendar or the prognosticating Groundhog say, I’m ready to put my winter coat away. Far, far away.

Yes, yes, I know that by August I will be screaming for cool-itude, but right now my bones are cold. And I don’t have solar heated socks.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time there was the Kalahari desert. This is important because without the Kalahari they couldn’t have made the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy. And that would be sad.

About 5,000 years ago there was nothing in the Kalahari except sand and one coke bottle (see The Gods Must Be Crazy). Then there was a watermelon. And the people liked the watermelon so much that many, many more watermelon followed.

The Egyptians thought watermelon were so dandy-wonderful that they drew pictures of them on walls (the term hieroglyphics is from the root “hi” as in near the top of the wall, “rog” as in rogue graffiti artists, and “lyphs” as in I hope I don’t get caught drawing on the walls). The Egyptians didn’t have good graffiti removal techniques which is why hieroglyphics still exist.

The Egyptians also put watermelons in the tombs with dead kings because one never knows when royalty will get a hankering for watermelon.

Fast forward to the 10^th century when watermelon (and possibly watermelon shooters) had made their way to China. It took that long because travel was slow in those days and watermelon are not known for having large stockpiles of cash with which to travel. China is currently the number one producer of watermelons on the planet.

Dad’s garden is currently last on the list of watermelon producers having yielded (so far this year) exactly one (slightly under-ripe) fruit.

The US is fifth in watermelon production but according to Guinness (the records people not the beer people) the world’s heaviest watermelon was grown in Arkansas in 2005. It weighed 268.8 pounds (most of which was water weight).

Early explorers used watermelons as canteens. This is the first recorded instance of yuppy flavored water and the forerunner of Mio!.

There are over 200 kinds of watermelon grown in the US and Mexico. The most popular are the ones somebody else carries.

There are many recipes for Interesting Things to Do With Watermelon. I am not reproducing any of them here, since (a) my favorite is watermelon, cut with knife, served with a napkin and (b) My Friend the Internet has already documented every possible watermelon recipe imaginable.

Watermelon makes me think of summer and grilling out and summer and seed fights and summer and early fall.

What’s your favorite way to eat watermelon?

Love, Mom

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Dear Kid,

Welcome to the Ides of July and the middle of the summer.

To celebrate, the mosquitoes have declared the entire outdoors is their buffet. And by “entire outdoors” I mean “me.”

To celebrate, the deer have declared the entire garden is their buffet. And by “entire garden” I mean “the beet tops.”

To celebrate, the moles have declared the entire backyard is their buffet. And by “entire backyard” I mean “entire backyard.”

To celebrate, the dust dragons have gone on a procreative rampage. And by “procreative rampage” I mean there are a lot of them.

To celebrate, Booker is shedding. And by “shedding” I mean “losing enough fur to make a whole extra beast.”

To celebrate, the air conditioner is working overtime. As is the icemaker.

To celebrate, American Ninja Warrior is in the city finals. And by “in the city finals” I mean you can pretty much guess what I’m doing on Monday evenings. And Kacy Catenzaro #MightyKacy is the first woman not only to make it to the top of the warped wall but through the entire finals course. In case you have no idea how impressive that is, only 6 men made it the whole way (out of a field of 30) and Kacy is only 5 feet tall. She is about 6 kinds of amazing.

(If you’re looking for me on Tuesday evenings, I’m probably making sure that the judges on America’s Got Talent don’t make any mistakes.)

To celebrate, grills all over the country are cooking delicious meals. And by “all over the country” I mean not in our backyard, because our grill master isn’t home at the moment.

How are you celebrating the middle of the summer?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

There are lots of great things about the summer. Fresh fruit, long days at the pool, summer concerts, the opportunity to launch a full-blown attack on moles—the list goes on. Here are five of my favorite things about summer.

Flip flops

There is something about flip flops that just screams “summer happy!” Maybe it’s the bright colorfulness or maybe it’s the onomonopia-ness of the walking in them or maybe it’s just that my toes get to wiggle when I wear flip flops. The reason doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they say “summer” and make my feet happy.

No sleet

There are good things about winter, but sleet isn’t one of them. There is no such thing a gentle sleet, either. Sleet somehow is ragingly, unhappily aggressive, determined to get under your collar, into your eyes, and to turn the roads into skating rinks. It’s also ridiculously hard to scrape off the car. Next time the thermometer hits 97 degrees and the humidity is somewhere north of comfortable, remind yourself: no sleet today!

Hammocks

I don’t take advantage of the hammock in our backyard enough. I love relaxing in it, letting the trees shade me from the sun, hoping the mosquitos are still napping. Somehow, even looking at the hammock makes me relax a little and take on a little of that summer spirit.

Grilling

There are people who grill all year long, but none of them are in our family. During the winter, our grill is decommissioned and hidden away, not to reappear until mid-spring. While I am not the grill master, I love eating food cooked on the grill. Maybe because I’m not the grill master.

Long days

I love the long days of summer. I love waking up to sunshine (or almost sunshine) and ending my day with a little bit of light left. Somehow there seem to be more hours in a the day during the summer, and I manage to fill up each and every one of them.

What do you love about summer?

Love, Mom