Summer TV season is here in full swing. Not only did American Ninja Warrior kick off this week, but America’s Got Talent launched Season 9 last night. New this season, there will be no Vegas week—instead contestants will go to NYC for Bootcamp. And each judge has a golden buzzer which can be used to save an act. I’m betting Howard will be the last to use his golden buzzer. Also betting Heidi is first. You read it here first.
First performer: Adorable little kid 9 years old (way to old here for his years) explained that we don’t need another machine, we need more emotion. He is in 8th grade (having skipped five grades). Heidi: You’re that smart? Kid: According to reality, yes.
He’s skipping 10th grade next year. A-dor-a-ble. And crazy good on piano. Crazy good. End the season right now.
Tap dancing siblings: Pretty darn good. Going through.
Circus artists: Going through.
Acrobatic break dance comedy show: Wowed the judges. Wowed me too.
And we’re only 15 minutes in.
Comedian 2: Buzz.
Comedian 3: Buzz.
Howie: all you need is punch lines and then you’ll have an act. Yowch.
Comedian 4: Funny. Four “yes”es. Dan will be back.
Commercial came at just the right time for me to get my power cord. Thank you NBC.
Handbalancing: He balanced. High up. The judges were more impressed than I was.
Commercial: Too soon.
Singer: Felt the need to share his gift. The gift should be returned.
Muscle Woman: Gets buzzed.
Group of three bald guys getting head slapped by fourth dude: Sort of sounded like a train. Bzzzzz.
Hoola hooper: Correction. Bad hoola hooper. Nick was better.
Commercial: not soon enough.
(Sneak preview: A woman makes it through on ANW next Monday. I am seriously excited.)
Montage of stuff they mostly aren’t showing us. I want the 9 year old back.
93 year old man pulling vehicles with his teeth: Points for strength. Points for doing it at his age. But (in all honesty) how many times can we watch a car being pulled? We’re going to find out, because only Howard said no.
Two singers: Unexpectedly fabulously operatic singing the Flower Duet. I think it’s the Flower Duet. Where is Uncle David when you need him? Yummy. 4 stunned judges say yes.
More commercials. Because they can.
Several acts of whom we saw three seconds each: Not sure who went through and who didn’t. If it’s important we’ll find out later in the season.
Dojo weirdo comedy act: The Howards like him. The girls not so much. Me too. To my absolute amazement, Howard hits the Golden Buzzer. Boy, I read that one wrong. In many, many ways.
Commercial so we can all recover. It may take longer than even a long commercial break.
Several acts of whom we saw three seconds each: Not sure who went through and who didn’t. This feels familiar.
Dance duet: Well, quartet. Or more, because they dance with their shadows and projection and it is awesome. I want to watch it again. So do the judges. And everyone else in America. And what’s amazing is they only met four days ago.
Mime: Spectacularly bad. Four buzzes. Only good part is when stagehand gives him a mike and he shrugs. Everyone laughs. Mime doesn’t leave the stage and starts backtalking the judges. Angry mime says “you know how hard it is to not talk?” Well, um, yes, but I’m not a mime. Then he gets mean and kind of attacks the judges. Howie yells for security. But wait, it’s NICK!! Everyone cracks up. Me too.
Commercial so everyone at home can talk about it.
Singer: Tear jerker back story. Sings well and goes through ending the evening on a high note.
This has the potential to be a great, great season. Still want that 9 year old back.
P.S. Mel B. had AMAZING boots.