Dear Kid,

Have I told you how much I love my Fitbit?

Not only is it purple (win!), and data-ful (win!), and mine (win! win!), it has encouraged me to make some small but important changes in my life.

For example, I now go to either the first or third floor to use the restroom (I work on the 2^nd floor). Not only does this give me all those lovely extra steps (win!), I get an extra flight of stairs (win! win!) each time I have to pee.

Between my bladder (tiny) and my coffee habit (large), this has added an extra 1,000 steps a day to my step count which amounts to (exactly) 11.5 calories.

If I had taken the same amount of time to sit, Jabba-the-Hutt-like, I would only have burned 10.2 calories, so you can see how this is changing my waistline dramatically.

Not only am I bounding (gazelle-like) up the stairs, I’ve taken to walking through this door rather than that door on my way to the restroom. By taking this door, I add 27 steps (win!) and I walk right by the candy bowl (it would be rude not to help myself to a piece [or two] as I walk by).

So by becoming more fit I have gained 6 pounds, worn out three pairs of shoes, and developed a small but insistent blister on my left foot.

You might think I blame my Fitbit. But I don’t. Not at all.

Because it’s purple (win!).

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Speaking of technology (and that’s what I was talking about yesterday), things have now gotten completely out of hand.

Science (I like thinking about the entire field as a single entity. I know it isn’t but knowing and liking are two entirely different things) has invented Nadine.

This would be a good time to “ooh” and “ahh” in appreciation. Science likes oohs and ahhs and appreciation.

Nadine is a robot full of piles (that’s the technical term) of lovely artificial intelligence. She talks, she shakes hands, she takes coffee breaks, she gossips (not really on the coffee and gossip), and she costs about 2 zillion times what a live receptionist costs.

Here’s the video. You should watch the whole thing, especially the part where he explains why she’s kind of creepy. Very interesting.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s a weird thing with technology. Size matters.

From the deep scientific study I’ve conducted, it seems that when a new technology is introduced it is medium sized. Then bells, whistles, frills, lights, buttons, and sequins are added (just kidding about the sequins) and the size grows. Bigger is better. Bigger means more horsepower, more features, and more testosterone needed to carry the device. Think boom boxes in the late 1900s. If your boom box was big enough to require its own zip code, it was big enough to generate sound waves that loosened building foundations throughout the country. That was good.

It may have been a plot by the Builders and Foundation Reinforcement Committee of America. It certainly wasn’t a musical improvement.

It seems that once technology reaches a certain size, it begins to shrink. Smaller is cooler. Smaller is more compact and petite. Smaller costs more so it must be better.

Then – because Newton said so – for every action there is an equal and opposite technological trend. So technology gets bigger again. Think TVs and cell phones.

This cycle is known as the apple-coaster even though it pre-dates The Steves.

Speaker technology is busy riding the ‘coaster. Once upon a time, personal speakers the size of mountains were envied. Over the years, they’ve shrunk even as sound quality has improved.

Now it’s not only getting smaller, it has a voice.

You’ve probably heard of Amazon Echo. I hadn’t, but I’m not a trendy college student. Echo is a small, artificial intelligence speaker. With an artificially intelligent voice named Alexa.

Because not everyone in the universe has an Echo, Amazon is introducing a smaller (and by “smaller” they mean cheaper) version. The new one is slightly less slick than the original version, but you still get Alexa (just an Alexa who doesn’t listen as much as the original).

I’m waiting for an even smaller (and by “smaller” I mean cheaper) version. I figure I’ll be about ready for it when it’s the size of a fingernail. Of course, at that size I’ll lose it. So maybe not.

Love, Mom

Don’t forget to share DearKidLoveMom.com. You’ll feel better.

Dear Kid,

With the new year (you remember that we’re in 2016, right?) comes the traditional March of the New Year Trends. Specifically, resolutions, people flocking to the gym, the launch of new diets, and the Prediction Articles.

The prediction articles tell us All We Need To Know for the coming year. It really doesn’t matter if they are correct or not; no one ever goes back at the end of the year to check. There are no grades for prognostication accuracy. Whether you get your prediction article published next year has nothing to do with how well you predicted prior years and everything to do with how many people read your article last year. Also most writers couch their insight with words like “probably” and “in the next few years” and other wishy washy phrases that inevitably translate to “maybe.”

For years (and years and years) most of these articles have focused on technology. Yes, there are also articles about fashion, paint colors, and makeup, but those are actually reasonably easy to predict since everyone in those industries has already agreed about the style trends.

The tech world is a little different. In the tech world, no one agrees on what’s going to happen, only that a LOT is going to happen and that it will be ABSOLUTE.

Apparently, in 2016, all TV remotes will become obsolete, passwords will be replaced with biometric keys, and paper will disappear.

Before you rush out to sell your stock in TV remote companies, let me assure you that not ALL TV remotes will disappear, plenty of passwords will remain, and there is no way we will get rid of paper. You heard it here first.

Do I believe that remotes will be replaced with smart phone wizardry? Eventually, sure. Do I believe that sooner or later biometrics will replace the 8-letter-and-at-least-one-character password? Absolutely. Do I think paper is going away? Um, no.

First of all, pundits have been predicting the demise of paper since I was a little girl, and as far as I can see we use more paper today than we did back then. (Maybe it’s just my perspective.) Digital is good (you’re reading this digitally, which proves that digital is good) but I’ve never had a paper file crash and need the support team’s assistance.

There is something wonderful about the tactile experience of paper. You don’t have to turn off your paper when an airplane is taking off. You don’t lose paper reception when you’re going through a tunnel. You don’t have to pay for more data when you use an extra sheet of paper. And paper interfaces don’t change (do you have any idea how many outdated cords and plugs and whatnot we have?).

I can’t wait to see what wonderful things the tech world will bring us in the next few years. But it won’t be the end of paper.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

The Thanksgiving weekend is officially ending today. Which is good, because even while we enjoyed every minute of visiting and eating (and eating and eating) we (the collective we) need time to slim back down before the next holiday feast arrives. Which it will. Sooner than my waist will be ready.

Unofficially of course the weekend continues. The shopping, the football, the leftovers (well, not so much in the way of leftovers), the shopping, the traveling, and did I mention the shopping?

Tomorrow is Cyber Monday, but many retailers are offering online deals starting tonight. You should ignore all of them because you are a college student and therefore you should be A) studying and B) hoarding your pennies to pay for things like food.

Some of us have eaten enough wonderful food in the last several days to last us a while. You, however, are a metabolic machine and need to be fed on a regular basis. By not shopping online you can stretch your budget further (more about that tomorrow from our special guest blogger) and avoid all the malware that is expected to hit the web tomorrow.

It’s been wonderful having a few days to spend with you. You are a Most Wonderful Child Adult Child and it is always good to have time to visit.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you heard about real-life auto-driven buses? Yep. Happening in Switzerland. About to happen, anyway.

Launching next spring, a small fleet (and by small, I mean 9) of buses will take to the streets in part of the city of Soin. The buses work just like regular buses—minus the driver. Which may seem like a problem to some of us, but the bus people feel it will be just fine.

The public transportation company there is called CarPostal, giving new meaning to “mail it in.” (Yeah, I know it’s really “phone it in” but I couldn’t make that work.) The buses are adorable (although not made out of chocolate—which should cut down on people licking the cushions).

Turns out four U.S. states have granted “autonomous driving permits”. Who knew? I don’t think there are any self-driving cars yet, but the concept is most wonderful.

I’d be delighted to have a happy little computer drive me around. I’m already taking suggestions for what to name it. Thoughts?

Love, Mom