Sports

This Little Piggie Went to the Marathon

Dear Kid,

Today is the Flying Pig marathon.

I have a thing for all those flying piggies.

And I don’t object in the least to other people running or walking or marathoning.

In fact, I’m quite impressed with all that.

The first time a friend of mine ran a marathon was in grad school when the fab Karen ran her first 26.2 miles. I remember showing up in couple of places along the route to cheer her on.

Cheering is a very important part of marathoning, so to everyone participating in today’s events Oink! And Go For It! You Rock! Keep on Keeping On! Great Job!

In 1896, the first modern marathon was run as selection race for the Athens Olympics.

It wasn’t until 1984 that the Olympics added a women’s marathon. This was probably longer than it should have taken. The amazing Joan Benoit (she was the Boston University track coach in case you were wondering) won that year.

The Flying Pig ends at the Finish Swine.

Love, Mom

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Big Hats, Mint Juleps, Horses, and Roses (It’s Kentucky Derby Day)

Dear Kid,

If you thought today was just going to be Another Saturday you’d be Oh So Wrong.

Think horses, big hats, betting, and mint juleps, and yes, it is Kentucky Derby Day.

And if you thought Kentucky Derby Day means watching 2 minutes of horse racing, you’d be right—but only partially so.

If you’re a horse, you can’t just wake up one morning and decide you want to be a contender. You have to qualify by earning points in a series of 35 races. The top 20 point earners get to compete in The Derby and run for the roses (roses first appeared at the Kentucky Derby in 1896).

If you’re planning a Kentucky Derby Party (it’s a little late at this point, but it’s good advice for next year), be sure your venue has more than the traditional party allotment of square footage per person. This is because hats are a big thing on Derby Day. And by “big thing” I mean important to the event as well as brim size. Because Kentucky Derby Hats are BIG. Some are even bigger than the jockeys. All the jockeys put together. Side Note: Horses are not required to wear big hats.

For those heading down to Louisville for the races, there is a highly civilized schedule (and by “highly civilized” I mean mint juleps are available from 8am to 7pm).

This is how the official Kentucky Derby site says to make mint juleps. (Check your license for age appropriateness, please.)

  • Make a simple syrup by boiling sugar and water together for five minutes. Cool and place in a covered container with six or eight sprigs of fresh mint, then refrigerate overnight. Make one julep at a time by filling a julep cup with crushed ice, adding one tablespoon mint syrup and two ounces of Old Forester Kentucky Bourbon. Stir rapidly with a spoon to frost the outside of the cup. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 cups water
  • Sprigs of fresh mint
  • Crushed ice
  • Old Forester Kentucky Bourbon
  • Silver Julep Cups

Since the recipe takes 24+ hours, you’re out of luck if you didn’t start yesterday.

You can go out to the infield to see what’s happening inside the track (anytime today), you can watch the Military Armed Forces swearing in ceremony (2:15), or you could go crazy and watch one of the 13 horse races that will be running.

Events run all day, but things get serious around 5pm when Josh Groban sings the National Anthem. Following this seriousness, the Derby is trying to set a Guiness World Record by having “The World’s Largest Champagne Toast”. Not sure how that relates, but what the heck.

Then the horses parade out (it’s now probably about 5:55) to lots of commentary and last minute betting. At 6:15 comes the Rider’s Up call.

At 6:20pm, everyone becomes instantly sober for the most important moment of the day—the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home.” Did you notice how much closer to race time this song is compared to the Anthem? There is room for much commentary here, but I’m skipping all that today.

And at 6:34, the race begins.

Happy Kentucky Derby Day,

Love, Mom

 

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World’s Most Amazing Soccer Player You’ve Never Heard Of

Dear Kid,

I played soccer yesterday. And I was awesome.

Now before you begin thinking up snarky responses, let me clarify.

Pi, Dad, and I went to the soccer field yesterday. Pi wanted to practice tricky moves and needed two live bodies to practice around. Guess who provided one of the bodies.

This is exactly what I didn't look like playing soccer. DearKidLoveMom.com

Turns out I am a natural for standing where I’m told to stand on a soccer field.

Seriously, you would have been crazy impressed.

I even managed to get the ball away from her. Once.

I celebrated. Dad and Pi laughed. I did not get a yellow card for excessive celebration.

Then I was promoted to ball-kicker. It was my job to kick the ball to Pi and her job to get it around Dad.

Once again, I executed my athletic duties with accuracy, timeliness, and amazing modesty.

Finally, it was my job to throw the ball in the vicinity of Pi’s feet. I say vicinity since there was a lack of clarity on the part of the direction-giver. But I finally got the hang of it. And then Pi kicked the ball in Dad’s face.

Fortunately, she didn’t kick it hard, so there were no emergency room runs.

I plan to announce my retirement from soccer later today amid great fanfare, a major press conference, and sobs from Pi. At least when she isn’t laughing at me.

Love, Mom

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The One Thing You Have to Know About Soccer

Dear Kid,

Soccer is a ridiculously easy game. (And by “ridiculously easy” I mean more complicated than you might think.)

Because it is easy, I give Pi the same advice before every game: The ball goes in the net.

Sometimes she even takes my advice. Easiest thing ever.

But there are things that make soccer more complicated. And I’m not talking about understanding the plays. (People who know what they’re talking about when it comes to soccer insist that there are plays and set pieces and other preplanned events. The rest of us are pretty sure the ball just gets kicked around a lot.)

kitten-soccer-ball-college-humor

Even I can play soccer.

Opponents. Of course, soccer is made slightly more complex by the other team who sees it as their job to keep the ball out of the net. Or at least have it go into the other net.

Teammates. Teammates do not always play perfectly. This can tend to cause inconsistencies on the field. And groaning on the sidelines.

Rules. Then there are the complications because of the rules. (The rules work better when they’re enforced—looking at you, referee who decided that calling fouls was for wimps and he was darn sure not going to be a wimp.)

Traffic. Traffic is another complication, made worse on Tournament weekends when everyone and their brother is going to a soccer field that is just on the wrong side of the field you’re trying to get to.

Do you think medieval tournaments (think jousting and other fun sports) had parking issues?

Kettle corn. Kettle corn really isn’t a complication. At least not until the little boy next to you spills his and sets up a wail suitable for replacing all the emergency sirens in a six mile radius. I’m quite sure knights in shining armor didn’t have to deal with kettle corn spillage. They might have had to deal with loud children.

Port-a-Potties. Complication. And by complication, I mean “ick.” Especially if you’ve been sitting in the sun. And by “sitting in the sun,” I mean drinking a lot of water while sitting in the sun. And the port-a-potties have been sitting in the sun. Double ick.

And yet, with all the complications, soccer is ridiculously easy. The ball goes in the net. The crowd goes wild. The player have fun. And eventually we go home.

Love, Mom

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Penn State Visit and The Coolest Thing Ever

Dear Kid,

A few days ago we had the opportunity to wander Penn State. Here’s what I know:

  • It rains there.
  • There are a lot of buildings, some of which are newer than others.
  • There is a lot of construction (see “newer” above).
  • There is a lion statue.
  • The name “Nittany” comes from the mountain lions that used to roam near the school and to Mount Nittany a local landmark which we didn’t see.
  • But we did see the statue.
  • There is a lot of ice cream. Dad and Pi helped make sure there was slightly less by the time we left.
  • Really nice first floor of the business school building.
  • It is a big campus.
  • It seems bigger when you’re walking in the rain.

The Spirit of Penn State DearKidLoveMom.comWe wanted to see the Rec Center but it is not easy to get into that building. Dad finally found an unauthorized door for us to sneak in. We wandered around not finding the rec center and a very nice man said, “Are you looking for lacrosse?”

It was a reasonable questions since I was wearing the lacrosse jacket I inherited from Samara. I smiled, I’m that kind of a mom, and said, “No, the jacket was my niece’s. This is my soccer player.” I said this because I had deduced he was with the soccer organization since his t-shirt said “Soccer.”

Turns out, he’s one of the coaches with the women’s soccer program, and he kindly invited us in to his office to talk about Penn State Women’s Soccer. Crazy cool. Also it wasn’t raining in his office.

He did not spontaneously offer Pi a full scholarship, but that’s probably because he’s new to the school. I’m sure not having ever seen her play wasn’t even part of the equation.

Love, Mom

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Solitaire | Done and Done

Dear Kid,

Do you know where the phrase “done and done” comes from? Neither did I until I turned to My Friend the Internet to fill me in.

And I quote:

A finalization between two gentlemen’s agreement. Usually to do with a wager or bet. era:~1800s~

first man: is it a deal?  second man: done!  first man: done!  third man: done and done between two gentlemen is enough

Do you know who invented solitaire? Neither do I. Amazingly, MFTI wasn’t all that clear on the subject either (then again, I only looked at one website, so perhaps I can’t condemn the entire webisphere).

Do you know who invented solitaire? DearKidLoveMom.comI did find out that solitaire (the original kind with actual cards) may have started as a form of fortune telling.

The first known written description of solitaire is from 1783 where it was described in a German book of games as a competitive card game where people took turns or played with separate decks of cards. This flies in the face of solitaire being a solitary game. MFTI thinks the idea of playing alone came because people enjoyed practicing (alone) for competitive games more than they enjoyed playing with other people.

Which is certainly food for thought.

In the second half of the twentieth century, most modern games of solitaire (also known as “Patience” but without the melodies) were created and there are now more than 100 “distinctly individual solitaire games, with that number reaching more than 1,000 when you consider minor variations.”

Done and done.

Love, Mom

 

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