Dear Kid,

Puppy: Woof. May I have your attention please? I woofed. Pay attention.
Ok. October is National Adopt a – what is this word?
Me: Shelter
Puppy: Adopt a Shelter Dog Month. It is important that –what does “shelter” mean?
Me: In this case it means dogs that don’t have a home of their own
Puppy: WHAT? Excuse me, I’ll be right back.
What do you mean “Dogs that don’t have a home of their own”?
Me: Not all dogs have their own people
Puppy: You’re joking
Me: No, I’m not. There are lots of puppies that live in cages at a shelter hoping someone will adopt them
Puppy: This is terrible. We have to do something! Let’s go do something!
Me: Well, we adopted you
Puppy: What. Do. You. Mean. “Adopted you”?
Me: When we were looking for a dog to be part of our family, we looked at several shelters. We found you at the Cincinnati SPCA and we adopted you.
Puppy: Don’t be silly. I’m part of this family
Me: Now you are. Before, you were a shelter dog
Puppy: Me?
Me: You
Puppy: Was a shelter dog?
Me: You were
Puppy: And you rescued me?
Me: We did
Puppy: But I thought you were my Mommy!
Me: I am your mommy. But we adopted you
Puppy: This is very confusing
Me: It’s important that people know about adopting shelter animals. How about you go on with your announcement?
Puppy: Are. You. Kidding. Me? This is a Major Revelation and you want me to make an announcement as I struggle with my identity?
Me: Your identity is the same as it was 5 minutes ago. You’re part of our family. But you used to be a in a shelter.
Puppy: Did the Kid and Pi come from shelters too?
Me: No
Puppy: You didn’t rescue them?
Me: No
Puppy: WHY NOT?
Me: They didn’t need to be rescued
Puppy: But I needed to be rescued?
Me: I think maybe you were just waiting for us
Puppy: Well, then why did you take so long?
Me: We were looking for you. We adopted you when we found you
Puppy: Do all dogs come from shelters?
Me: Not all dogs, no
Puppy: Where do other dogs come from?
Pi: Uh-huh. How are you going to answer that one, mom?
Me: Thanks for helping, Pi. Come here little boy.
Puppy: I’m here
Me: You know we love you very much right?
Puppy: Yes, and I love you
Me: Good. And you know you’re part of our family right?
Puppy: I’m people
Me: Sort of
Puppy: So where do other dogs come from?
Me: Do you think we should get you a treat?
Puppy: I LOVE treats! Let’s get a treat! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!
Pi: Nice wiggling, mom
Me: Read the announcement, Pi
Pi: October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month. In the US there are almost 3 million healthy cats and dogs waiting to be adopted. Even if you can’t adopt or foster a pet, please think about supporting the wonderful shelters that care for these animals. And if you know of (or even suspect) animal cruelty, be sure to contact authorities immediately.
Puppy: Cruelty? What does that mean?
Me: It means you get a tummy rub
Pi: You’re just protecting him
Me: You bet. Nicely read by the way.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside, Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid, Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer, Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness, Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning, Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?, Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party, Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of, Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope, National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say, Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal, and The Puppy and The Cricket | Wildlife in the House

Dear Kid,

I bruised my wrist yesterday, which is making typing dificu diffff difac hard. (Don’t ask. Let’s just say it was a Genius Move Typical of Your Mother and leave it at that.)

Pi: Do you want me to type for you?
Me: Don’t you have homework to do?
Pi: Yes, but I’m offering to help you
Me: Very kind, but I’m still trying to figure out what to write about
Pi: Fine, I’m just offering
Puppy: I can help
Me: That’s sweet, but I don’t think you know how to type
Pi: I know how to type. That’s why I offered to help
Me: Thank you. Homework
Puppy: I can type
Me: You can?
Puppy: Of course
Me: You got a nose print on my screen
Puppy: See? I am terrific at this
Me: You have to press the keys to type
Puppy: OK
Dad: What am you doing? Since when is the Puppy allowed to touch your computer?
Puppy: All done
Me: I don’t even want to know what “njkm” means…
Puppy: It means I pressed the keys.
Me: That it does
Pi: Should have let me help
Me: Fine. You’re right. Can you come help?
Pi: Nope. Doing homework.
Tal: What is all the noise?
Pi: Don’t look at me. I’m doing homework
Puppy: I typed!
Me: I’m trying to write a blog. It’s not going well
Tal: I think I will make coffee
Puppy: I will help because I love you
Tal: Good morning, Boo-ker
Puppy: I love you I love you I love you!!
Me: How did I lose control of the situation?
Dad: What makes you think you had control?
Me: I didn’t?
Dad: Not this morning, lady
Pi: I’m going to football practice
Puppy: I love Tal
Pi: And after practice we can go dress shopping
Puppy: Can I go dress shopping?
Pi: No baby, not today
Me: I still need a blog topic
Pi: And shoe shopping
Tal: I will like to go shopping too
Me: Perhaps I’ll go back to bed until then
Dad: I thought you had a blog to write
Puppy: I will write the blog! What’s a blog?
Me: Coffee. Maybe I just need more coffee

And another morning is off and running.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Puppy: Mom. Pssst, Mom.
Me: Hmmm?
Puppy: Don’t look now, but we have company
Me: Huh?
Puppy: I said don’t look! There is Someone Here
Me: I haven’t had coffee yet. Go chew on a toy.
Puppy: PSSSSST! We have A Visitor
Me: Ok, what are you talking about?
Puppy: Look!
Me: The floor moved! Where are my glasses…..you found a cricket. In. The. House.
Puppy: Yes! Yes! Yes! I am such a good boy!!!
Me: Crickets don’t belong in the house
Puppy: I didn’t bring it in. I just found it. Can I keep it? Can I? Please?
Me: Wildlife belongs in the wild. Not inside.
Puppy: Can I keep it? It’s my new best friend
Me: Put the cricket down!
Puppy: Buh I wuv him
Me: Don’t talk with your mouth full. Put the cricket down
Puppy: Let’s play
Me: You may have drowned him
Puppy: Let’s play!
Me: I don’t think he’s moving
Puppy: Let’s- WOW!
Me: He moved. Not yet drowned in love
Puppy: Where did he go? Let’s go find him! Hunt! Sniff! Search!
Me: I think I’ll leave that to you.
Puppy: This is Very Important
Me: So is caffeine
Puppy: Can I have some?
Me: No
Puppy: Then I’ll search for my best friend. I’ll sniff everywhere! I’ll find him! I’ll rescue him! I’ll….Mom?
Me: Hmmm?
Puppy: What am I looking for?
Me: Oh, sweetie. Let’s go for a walk, ok?
Puppy: I love walks! Let’s go for a walk! And then breakfast, right?
Me: And then breakfast
Puppy: YAY! Mornings with breakfast are Wonderful! They are my favorite! They are the best! Let’s go!

Somewhere in the house, there is a cricket. Or possibly the remains of a cricket. Or possibly the cricket has escaped. I’ll keep you posted.

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside, Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid, Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer, Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness, Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning, Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?, Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party, Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of, Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope, National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say, and Puppy Conversations | Completely In Love with Tal

Dear Kid,

Listen my child and you shall hear
Of a meal we ate when you weren’t here.

I thought of writing the whole blog in poem, but by the third line of my attempt I’d gone from Paul Revere’s Ride to A Visit From St. Nicholas (Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!) and the scan had gotten hopelessly mixed up in my head. Back to narrative.

Last night we went out to dinner. Turns out you need to make reservations more than 20 minutes in advance if you want to take 6 people to dinner on a Saturday night at a trendy spot. We went to Bonefish Grill (which I like very much but I’d been to before and I’d hoped to try one of the new restaurants in town. Apparently so did a lot of other people.).

Puppy: You didn’t take me
Me: You had dinner at home
Puppy: I could have eaten if you’d taken me
Me: You were napping
Puppy: Only after you left me at home!
Me: (I am not going to mention they don’t let dogs in. I am not going to mention they don’t let dogs in. I am not going) Want to play with a toy?
Puppy: I love toys!

I had planned to take photos of dinner and share our culinary experience that way. It was a perfect plan except for the part about me remembering to take photos which I forgot. Completely.

So imagine, if you will, hummus and potsticker appetizers, delightful salads (for some of us), warm bread, delicious entrees, and sparkling conversation. I wouldn’t have known how to photograph the sparkling conversation anyway.

Puppy: Do I have sparkling conversation?
Me: ummm…
Puppy: Scratch me
Me: Yup, that sparkles
Puppy: See? You should have taken me

All in all, a lovely evening.

Puppy: Except for the part about me not going.
Me: I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it was still a lovely evening.
Puppy: Except for the part about me not going.

Except (according to some) for the part about Booker not going.

Hope your day is sparkling.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

As you know, we have a new family member. Her name is Tal and she is from Israel. And Booker is completely in love. The second night Tal was here, we put him in his crate for bed. When he realized Tal was sitting here with us, he began to fuss and cry. Eventually, I let him out (yep, I’m a sucker). He was very polite as he ogled her. Then he began, ever so slightly, to lean toward her. And lean a little farther. And then lean a little farther still. After a few minutes, she got down on the floor and snuggled with him. You have never seen such a happy boy! He is head over tail in love.

Here are some of their recent conversations.

Puppy: You smell new
Tal: Hi Puppy
Puppy: You’re new and I’m so excited! Excited! Excited!
Tal: You are very cute
Puppy: Yes, I am. You are too
Tal: I’m glad to meet you. You seem to have a lot to say
Puppy: I do have a lot to say. I can tell you all about our house. Except the upstairs part because I’m not allowed to go upstairs.
Tal: It sounds like you are very good at following the rules.
Puppy: Of course. I always follow the rules.
Me: Excuse me?
Puppy: Most of the time.

Puppy: Want to scratch my tummy?
Tal: I’d love to scratch your tummy
Puppy: You are very good at this.
Tal: Thank you

Tal: You’re very smart
Puppy: Yes, I am very smart
Tal: I am very impressed
Puppy: I am very impressive
Me: Your modesty is underwhelming…

Puppy: That chicken smells dee-li-shus…it smells really, really good…I think I might like some…can I please have some of the yummy chicken?
Tal: No, no table food for puppies
Puppy: What?! She knows the rules?! This is a disaster.

Puppy: You know what we do in our house?
Tal: What?
Puppy: We tell people we love them
Tal: Well, I love you
Puppy: And do you know what else we do?
Tal: What?
Puppy: We show them we love them
Tal: Oh, I see. And how do you do that?
Puppy: With tummy rubs, and ear scratches, and treats
Tal: Ahhhh
Puppy: So can I have a treat?
Tal: You just had breakfast!
Puppy: I could still have a treat
Tal: No, I don’t think so
Puppy: You know that rule too? Catastrophe!!

Puppy: I’m very glad you’re here
Tal: Thank you for letting me be part of your family
Puppy: I take very good care of my family. They are my pack.
Tal: I see
Puppy: You can be part of my pack. I’ll take care of you, too
Tal: That would be very nice
Puppy: I am very good at taking care of people
Me: You are. But right now you need to clean up your toys
Puppy: Snuggling Tal
Me: And that is lovely, but it’s time to clean up your toys
Puppy: But. I’m. Snuggling.
Me: But I’m the Mommy
Puppy: Point well made. I have to go clean up my toys
Tal: Yes, you do
Puppy: I love you, Tal
Tal: I love you too, my new puppy friend

Love, Mom

For more puppy conversations see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside, Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid, Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer, Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness, Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning, Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?, Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party, Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of, Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope, and National Dog Day | Puppy Has His Say

Dear Kid,

Last night the puppy climbed into my lap, put is paws on my chest, and stared at me with huge eyes.

Puppy: You blew it.
Me: Undoubtedly. What are we talking about?
Puppy: National Dog Day
Me: Yes
Puppy: On August 26^th
Me: Yes
Puppy: You didn’t write about it
Me: True
Puppy: You. Blew. It.
Me: I’m sorry
Puppy: Do you know that dogs are important?
Me: Of course
Puppy: There are working dogs and cuddling dogs and dogs that work at cuddling, and you FORGOT to write about their day!
Me: I didn’t forget. Not exactly
Puppy: There are LOTS of dogs that need to be rescued
Me: You’re a rescue puppy
Puppy: And adorable
Me: And adorable
Puppy: And in charge of security
Me: And adorable
Puppy: And you missed our Day.
Me: Wait a minute. I’ve written about dogs that work for Guiding Eyes for the Blind and Diabetes Dogs and K-9 Dogs and International Dog Assistance Week and Rescue Dogs. And I write about you.
Puppy: You do?
Me: I do. Besides, isn’t pretty much every day National Dog Day?
Puppy: Not bath day
Me: Not even when the bath is over?
Puppy: Every day is Dog Day?
Me: Especially at the end of summer
Puppy: Huh?
Me: Never mind
Puppy: So, if every day is National Dog Day…
Me: Yes?
Puppy: I should get a treat
Me: You should, huh?
Puppy: Yes
Me: I thought you might say something like that. Come on!
Puppy: TO THE KITCHEN FOR A TREAT!

Happy National Dog Day August 26^th and Every Day

Love, Mom (and Booker)

For more puppy conversations see Puppy Conversations and Food Observations, Spring Puppy Conversations, New Puppy Conversations, Winter WonderPuppy | Baby It’s Cold Outside, Puppy Conversations Translated for the College Kid, Puppy Conversations and FIFA World Cup Soccer, Puppy Conversations and the Joy of Quirkiness, Puppy Conversations| In the Beginning, Puppy Conversations | What’s In a Name?, Puppy Conversations | Puppy Plans a Party, Puppy Speaks Foreign Languages…Sort Of, and Summer Puppy Conversations | Speaking of Hope