Dear Kid,

We’ve discovered a new program. By “we” I mean Pi and me, and by “new program” I mean World’s Largest Pets on Animal Planet.

I thought World’s Largest Pets would be things like pet hippos or elephants. Pi thought we’d be watching Great Danes.

Instead, we found ourselves watching a HUGE Burmese Python, a capybara, a big rat, and wolfhounds.

The python probably should have been in a zoo or left in the wild. It was big huge enormous. And by “enormous” I mean the size of Montana. The state, not the Hannah. According to the show, it was one of the largest snakes in England. And it was not happy about going to the vet for a checkup. One-of-the-largest-snakes-in-England knows how to make its displeasure known.

The capybara was adorable. His owner spends more on food for him than on food for herself. She got him a swimming pool. She gives him full run of the house even though one of a capybara’s favorite things to do is roll around in the mud. We never found out how he feels about veterinarians.

The wolfhounds were cuter than cute if a 7 foot dog can be called cute. (I have no trouble calling a dog of any size a cute puppy.) The couple in the profile breed wolfhounds and they are very careful about who they give puppies to. If the puppy-adopter-to-be doesn’t fit with their notion of how a puppy-adopter-to-be should interact with the adult wolfhounds, the p-a-t-b goes home without a puppy.

Yes, I skipped the rat. I think it was a rat. I’m really not sure because there was big discussion about whether our Puppy should be getting up off his favorite pillow and going for a walk. Dad was in favor of the walk before the rain began; Puppy was in favor of sleeping. Guess who won?

Love, Mom