Dear Kid,

It was a difficult weekend for Pi. Over the course of two soccer games she got the general complement of bangs and bruises and a very messed up shoulder.

We went to Children’s Hospital on Saturday to have someone look at her shoulder. [Remind me to explain to her that it is not a goal of mine to visit every outpost of Children’s.] They didn’t see much on the x-rays, but said we should see an orthopedist.

Mom, I already got the medical report. I know. Hang on. We’re getting to the point of the story.

On Monday, we went to a closer location of Children’s to get copies of her x-rays to take with us to the orthopedist appointment. As we were waiting for the CD, we noticed two young girls (they looked like twins to me) waiting for what we guessed was a round of chemotherapy. The two girls were bald, ultra-thin, and seemed quite happy.

As we left the hospital, Pi told me that it put things in perspective seeing those two girls. “I almost feel bad that I am only here about my shoulder,” she said, “when there are people with cancer.”

I said I thought it was a good reminder that no matter how bad things get, there are always people who are in worse situations. And that it was good to remember that the two little girls seemed very cheerful. Because, just like us, there are people in the world who don’t have it as good as they do.

So as the end of the semester approaches, and professors seem to feel the need to load on the work and raise up the expectations, remember that there are people who don’t have the luxury of being in college at all. There are those who would love the opportunity for higher education, who would relish every moment of stress and studying and writing papers.

Even when it seems “eh,” you’ve got it pretty good.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, you had a job you didn’t love. Once upon a time, we’ve all had a job we didn’t love.

In the here and now, approximately 70% of Americans are in a job they don’t love. Or even like.

Staggering figure, isn’t it?

Forbes had an article last week called 3 Surprising Benefits to Staying in a Job You Hate (quite a title, huh?).

It got me thinking that there are all sorts of situations we find ourselves in that might be somewhat less than ideal. There might be required class that is (fill in evil adjective here). There might be an event at which you’re required to make an appearance but you’d rather be hung upside down by your toenails than go. There might be a concert you’re excited to go to but when you get there it doesn’t live up to expectations and you’re stuck in the center of the row, unable to leave.

The list goes on. The point is at one time or another we all find ourselves wishing there was an easy way to escape our immediate situation.

Note: There rarely is. Because if there was an easy escape route you’d already have taken it.

The point of the Forbes article was (more or less) that you might learn something about yourself in that situation. You certainly have a choice to wallow in the unpleasantness of the situation or to find a way to make your life better.

Important: I did not say to make the situation better. We can’t always do that. And presumably if there was a way to do that you’d already have done it.

A True Story
One thousand three hundred fifty-six years ago (exactly) I worked at a fast food franchise. I was in high school at the time and it was a typical part time job. I remember one night in particular being assigned to wash dishes. Not my favorite job as the pots and pans were big and proportionally dirty. I was in the back, by myself, being miserable, explaining to myself how miserable I was, and generally multiplying the miserable-ness exponentially. Then things got busy and I was called to work the drive-thru window. This was back in the days before we were expected to be rude and so I made An Effort to be cheerful and pleasant. Within minutes I actually Was cheerful and pleasant. Cue music for “I Whistle A Happy Tune.” Extra points if you get the reference.

We can’t make every situation better. But we can almost always work on our attitude about the situation.We can decide not to punish those around us with a (fill in evil adjective) attitude. We can challenge ourselves to find something good in the situation and lock onto that. We can figure out a way to turn the situation into a fun blog (see 12 Really Good Things About Winter Weather for an example).

We really are in charge of our own happiness. We really can control how we handle a less-than-wonderful situation. It’s a good lesson for all of us.

Love, Mom

Love DearKidLoveMom? Why not sign up for delivery? It’s a magical experience.

“I Whistle A Happy Tune” is from The King and I (video from the movie included for your viewing pleasure). The relevant part of the lyrics included too.

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I’m afraid.

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows
I’m afraid.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well!

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, I had a different blog. Don’t be upset, that was long before you ventured off to college and I began this blog (which is clearly more important to the survival of the Universe). I occasionally wrote good things on that blog (and by “occasionally” I mean “usually”.) I don’t know that many people ever read that blog. I’m almost positive you never read that blog.

The following is one of the blogs I wrote back in 2010. It seems like an appropriate reminder as we start 2014.

I am in charge of my own happiness. And I have plenty to spare if you need additional happiness in your life.

I am in charge of my own happiness but Booker is in charge of licking my feet.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Under no circumstances am I in charge of housecleaning.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Which is why my children have learned to close the doors to their rooms.

I am in charge of my own happiness. My paycheck does not define my joy or my reason for living. It is, however, a nice plus.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Smiles from friends, relatives, and affectionate children only add to my happiness.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Not the color of my hair which I pay someone else to be in charge of.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of all the diets in the world because if I had my way there wouldn’t be any calories in chocolate.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of my mother-in-law. I’m sure she would agree.

I am in charge of my own happiness. My editor is in charge of capitalization and spelling.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of the weather.

I am in charge of my own happiness. And the remote control. Definitely the remote control.

I am in charge of my own happiness. And my own jewelry. Except the paying for it part. Someone else can be in charge of that. Any volunteers?

I am in charge of my own happiness. And my husband’s. When Mama’s happy, everyone else is more likely to be happy.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Hence, my frequent shopper cards at places like DSW and Macy’s.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Having wonderful friends and great kids makes it that much easier to be happy.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Comments on my blog do not define my happiness. But they certainly don’t hurt (feel free to add your comments below).

I am in charge of my own happiness. What about you?

What makes you happy? What are the things you do to be in charge of your own happiness?

Hope 2014 is treating you well so far. Love you kiddo.

Love, Mom

I’d love to read your thoughts about happiness. Please feel free to leave your comment below. Need an idea for increasing happiness? Why not Like DearKidLoveMom on Facebook? I can’t guarantee it will make you happier, but it can’t hurt.