Dear Kid,

As I may have mention once or twice or twelve thousand times, electricity is a wonderful thing.

Do you know what happens in a really, really bad storm? A storm so bad that the Puppy (who usually ignores weather unless it is directly getting him wet) starts shivering and hyperventilating? A storm so bad that it throws rain AND hail? A storm so Right Here that the lightening doesn’t even wait for the thunder before hitting again? A storm so loud that it drowns out the TV?

I’ll tell you what happens.

Anger.

Scientifically speaking, this is called an Angry Storm. Its mother probably called it Bob or something but its scientific name is Big Honkin’ Angry Storm. And BHAS looked in the windows of several houses and realized people were watching TV and not paying Proper Attention to the weather event. And BHAS got even angrier.

Do you know what happened then? I’ll tell you.

Out go the lights. Everyone looks up at the lights as if staring at them will bring back the electricity. Amazingly it does. On go the lights (and all the other appliances that had been running thirty seconds earlier). We all go back to what we were doing.

Zap! Out go the lights. Since it worked so well the first time, we all stare up at the lights again. And once again, the staring seems to do it. Zipp! On go the lights.

Then Snap! Crackle! Pop! Out go the lights. This time the staring does not intimidate any of the electrical appliances and they remain stubbornly dark. And silent.

Cue action for living beings.

Our resident 16 year old began to squawk like a stranded monkey. Dad started yelling to me, “Do not move! Do Not Move a Muscle! I am coming to bring you a flashlight! Do not move and start banging into things before I get there!” I’m not quite sure what he banged into on the way to bring me the flashlight but I’m pretty sure it didn’t break. At least not completely.

Pi transitioned from stranded monkey to hyperactive banshee. There wass much loudness.

Is it any wonder the Puppy freaked out?

Guess what else? I only had 38% battery on my phone, so I had that going for me.

Did you know it is not possible to charge a phone from a candle? No matter how many candles you light, none of them have plugs.

Did you know it is not possible to wash dishes by candle light? No matter how many candles I lit, I still didn’t want to wash them. (Not possible, didn’t want to, potato, potahto.)

Did you know that it is most assuredly possible to break a nail by candle light? But finding a nail file? Nope, not possible.

Sometime during the night pop! elkcarc! naps! the electricity came back on.

Science lesson of the day: Both staring at the lights and sleeping can sometimes cause the electricity to return.

Science lesson of the day #2: The dishes do not wash themselves during a blackout.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you ever noticed that traveling looks wonderful and invigorating in television commercials and magazine ads?

I can only assume that this is because the actors have a) all traveled first class to get to their destination and b) have had several days to rest from said travels.

Or because the ad was filmed on a sound stage which required a commute time of 27 minutes.

Or because there is something magical about the hats the actors wear (you know, the huge brimmed hats that make the women look like movie stars). Of course, the magic called “retouching” and “photoshop” help too.

Real life travel is not advertisement-quality travel. Unless by advertisement-quality you mean it’s flat and tasteless.

Real life travel is tiring. It may mean delayed (or canceled) flights. It may mean driving through rain and hail in places like East Nowhere, PA. It generally involves meals that sit awkwardly in your stomach like a misplaced bowling ball (looking at you, Cracker Barrel). It inevitably means (for me) too much caffeine and too little sleep.

Also it does bad things to my hair. You don’t have this problem, I know. But I do. I don’t know how some women manage to travel with their own cadre of hairdressers, but they look fabulous while I look like mice found lodging near my scalp.

The good news is there is often good stuff at the other end of travel. Like family. And borrowed puppies. And sometimes warm weather.

And travel, no matter how wonderful, always makes us appreciate home just a little bit more.

Love, Mom