Posts Tagged "friend"

Bunny Beyond Belief

Dear Kid,

It’s that time of year again. Yes, the rabbits are out. This thrills the Puppy who is eager (and by “eager” I mean desperate) to make a friend. It is less thrilling for Dad who is not eager to share his garden bounty.

This year, the rabbit likes hiding under the holly bush in the morning and foraging in the backyard in the evening.

For reasons that seem fairly obvious, the holly bush with its prickly leaves feels like a safe place for the bunny. For reasons I don’t understand, the rabbit does not seem to be bothered by the evening mosquitoes. Which is good because I doubt the rabbit would hold still for hydrocortisone.

Turns out that rabbits have just about three-sixty vision (the better to see predators while you’re picking lettuce). Their only blind spot is right in front of their nose. Which leads to a certain irony when they misplace something.

With the exception of the rabbit in The Secret Life of Pets (we saw the movie this weekend) and possibly Peter Rabbit, rabbits are affectionate little dudes. Snowball, the psycho rabbit in Secret Life (definitely one of my favorite characters), was determined to eliminate all humans. Most rabbits (a la Peter) spend their time plotting to eliminate Dad’s garden. (Seriously, there are rabbit seminars on the specific topic of your father’s garden.)

Jackrabbits, which belong to the genus “Lepus,” have been clocked at speeds of 45 miles per hour. Jillrabbits, which belong to the genius “Of course I know the answer,” have been watched (get it? watch? clock?) even faster.

New word of the day: crepuscular. As in “rabbits are crepuscular.” Which means they are most active at dawn and at dusk and when being chased by an overly friendly puppy.

WHAT? I would never eat my own poop. Yeah. That's it. Never. It must have been somebunny else.

Rabbits can’t vomit, even after a night of raucous drinking. This is important because they eat their food twice. Like cows, except grosser. Cows burp up their cud and rechew it for digestive purposes. Rabits poop their first attempt at the food, then “reingest” (which means “eat their poop”) to be sure they’ve gotten all the nutrition they can from that particular lump of grass. Or clover. Or whatever.


On the plus side, they are dang cute.

Love, Mom

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My Friend the Internet Turns Sulky

Dear Kid,

It probably will not surprise you to learn that Dad is watching a bio-ecology-ocean-fish TV show (especially when I tell you there aren’t any major sporting events on air at the moment).

It probably will stun you to learn that I am watching too. And I hope you don’t fall over when you learn that I haven’t started commenting about the plot (non-existent), the dialog (non-existent), the narration (monotone), or the music (snore).

I am completely and utterly transfixed by the videography.

My Friend the Internet has turned sulky. Really, really sulky.

My Friend the Internet has turned sulky. Really, really sulky.

How do they DO that? How do they hold the camera steady when the ocean is busy moving and there’s no place to put a tripod? How do they get stunningly clear pictures when all the oceans I’ve ever seen are muddy and have seaweed floating in the way? How do they manage to have air-based video, surface video, and underwater video all at the same time? How do they get the fish and turtles and dolphins and sharks to cooperate? I can’t even get the Puppy to pose—even when I try copious bribery.

So I turned to My Friend the Internet for information.

Me: How do they DO that?
MFtI: Can’t tell you.
Me: What do you mean you can’t tell me?
MFtI: Trade secret.
Me: What do you mean “trade secret”? The whole point of the internet is to share all information, secret or not.
MFtI: Possibly not the whole point.
Me: Close enough.
MFtI: Yeah. Except in this case.
Me: Who decided this?
MFtI: I did.
Me: You’re putting our friendship at risk.
MFtI: Sorry to disappoint you.

I don’t know where this new internet came from, but I am seriously disappointed.

On the other hand, the probability of me taking up underwater videography is not good. So perhaps a bit of mystery is a good thing.

Love, Mom

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Happy Best Friend Day!

Dear Kid,

It’s Best Friend Day—Happy BFD. Wait, that didn’t exactly sound right.

Olympic friendship DearKidLoveMom.comBest Friend Day brings up the question How Many Best Friends Can a Person Have?

The orthodox grammarians among us know that the answer is One! Only One! Are you kidding me? I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation. “Best” implies One!

The orthodox grammarians among us need to chill a little.

Amazingly, I have a rather tolerant stance on the subject of BFFs. I think a person can have (if they are sufficiently lucky) many BFFs. Because, like genres of TV, not all friends fall into the same category.

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. quote. Best Friend Day. DearKidLoveMom.comThere is the Will Agree With Me No Matter What BFF, the Loves The Same Movies I Love BFF, the Will Force Me To Face The Issue BFF, the Workout BFF, the Tells Me The Truth BFF, the Likes Cool Video Games BFF, the Work BFF, the I Can Call In An Emergency BFF, the Out On The Town BFF, and – perhaps most importantly – the Puts Up With Me At My Worst BFF.

There are others, but I picked some of my faves in the interest of space.

If you are lucky, you have a friend who falls into more than one category (also known by friendship scientists everywhere as the Super BFF). If you are extremely lucky, you have a friend who falls into several categories (known as Ultra BFF).

Did you say Best Friend or Beast Friend? Happy Best Friend Day!Happy Best Friend Day! How will you and your bestie celebrate?

Love, Mom

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Having Drinks with the Author of Crash!

Dear Kid,

Some people are energy-suckers. When you read one of their emails, talk to them on the phone, or (heaven forbid) meet them in person, you can feel your mental and physical energy drain. These encounters can leave you feeling like a pile of week-old lettuce. (You need a recovery plan for dealing with those people, but that is a different topic for a different day.)

Some people are energy-infusers. When you see that they’ve sent an email, you grin. When you finish talking to them on the phone, you want to do cartwheels (mentally if not physically). When you get to meet them in person (heaven be praised!), you feel energized enough to power the city lights for a week. Or more.

Asking ourselves the tough questions... DearKidLoveMom.comMy friend Carla is one of the energy-infusers of the world. She’s amazing and I was lucky enough to grab some time with her last night (she’s in town for a few days and chose to spend some of her time with me–Yay!). Here’s a link to her website and her soon-to-be-published book. If you ever get a chance to hear her speak, go. Have a root canal planned? Cancel it. Graduation? Not as important. Exam? OK, go take the exam so you can graduate. But be sure to catch her next time.

We met for drinks at Carlo & Johnny (where they may have the best restrooms in southwest Ohio–the lighting in there is designed to make even the most tired of us look great). By the time she left for dinner, my brain was abuzz. Partly with all the fab things happening in her life (did I mention the book?) but partly because she makes me THINK.

Carla is an author, a speaker, and a coach. As a really good coach, she asks questions that require insight (hers) and introspection (the person she’s working with). Last night the person being asked to instrospect was me, and self-diagnosis is not one of the things I do really well. Not taking my B.S. is another one of the things Carla does really well.

So instead of just “getting together for drinks” (which would have been good), I left feeling like I could tackle the world and with homework assignments (which was even better).

I hope you have a friend like Carla who can totally make your day an A+. Gotta go do my homework now.

Love, Mom

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Hope You Had a Great Labor Day Weekend

Dear Kid,

I hope you had a great weekend. I know you were spending time with friends and that has a way of making a college weekend better than not spending time with friends.

I spent part of the weekend with friends too (even though I’m not in college).

The big news is that the amazing Girlfriendology is moving closer.

This has the dual advantage of having her not be as far away as well as having her be closer. See how that works out?

So I went over to their new house to help them move in (and by “help them move in” I mean get the grand tour, deliver toys for the puppy, and visit for a few minutes. I am a huge help to my friends.).

Wishing them many happy and healthy years in their new digs.

I also spent some time hanging out with Sue at her community pool before it closes for the season.

H20: two parts Heart and one part Obsession. Author Unknown.

Sue’s pool has the distinct advantage of having shaded areas and Sue, so it is a good place to visit on occasion (and by “on occasion” I mean once a year or so). I’m not a huge hanger-outer-at-the-pool these days but it was good to spend some time catching up.

The thing about being friends is knowing when to be blindly loyal to a friend’s POV (Point of View—if you watched enough bad reality TV, you’d know that) and when to share your own.

Sometimes you get luck and they are one and the same.

Like, “There’s that girl with the perfect body and I don’t think she does anything to keep her looks. And she’s really sweet.” “Hate her.” “Exactly.”

It’s why Sue and I are friends.

Love, Mom

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