Dear Kid,

New ideas can be tricky.

Sometimes a new idea seems great from the very beginning.

Sometimes an idea starts out seeming like a bad idea but then turn out to be great once we get used to it.

Sometimes an idea starts out seeming to be a bad idea but then gets sufficiently refined to be a good idea.

So it’s important to give new ideas a chance, to give them a chance to become more familiar, to give them time to grow on you.

But sometimes new ideas are just not good ideas, and if they grow on you at all it’s more like mold than anything you’d want to cut and put in a vase.

Case in point: the Curling Iron Scrambled Egg.

I like eggs. I like scrambled eggs (as long as they’re made with real eggs and don’t have weird stuff cooked into them). But there is really nothing good about scrambled eggs made with a curling iron except being able to say you did it. (Besides, it looks a little obscene.)

Making eggs with a curling iron doesn’t save time, money, or the all-important number of things to be washed. You still have to buy eggs, you still have to have a dish to mix the eggs in, you still have to open a drawer to find something to mix with, you still have to find a plate to eat on, AND you ruin your curling iron.

Seriously.

Why would someone think this is a good idea?

Cosmopolitan seemed to think it was a good enough idea to film it (here’s the link if you want to watch it yourself). I’m not sure why; I had the sound off for most of the video. But there’s a reason professional chefs don’t include “curling iron” among their kitchen must-haves: it’s dumb.

The only dumber idea I can think of at the moment is using curling iron to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Ick.

Happy Breakfast.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Well, the To Do is still staring me in the face and the elves haven’t shown up to help get any of the work done. One of these days I am going to find good, hardworking, loyal elves and I will have a clean house and finished tasks. Until then, I have a house and unfinished tasks.

Dad and I spent part of this morning cleaning in the kitchen. Yesterday, he and I went to a home remodeling show where we saw lots of things we like and pretty much nothing we can afford. Shocker, I know. We decided cleaning the kitchen would be an excellent place to start. We managed to get the center island clean and the dishes in the sink dealt with before we lost steam and interest.

The good news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is annoyed with the other about not cleaning any more.

The bad news is that we lost steam and interest at about the same time so neither of us is still cleaning even though there is a great deal more to do.

Sigh.

I’m giving away a giant hug to anyone who can teach me how to make perfect medium boiled eggs—every time. I keep having the problem of the white sticking to the shell so that I end up with only half an egg. Life is tough.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Nobody does banana pudding like southerners. And last night for dinner we went to a BBQ place that excels at banana pudding (and brisket and BBQ and crazy good side dishes).

As far as I can tell, the recipe for their banana pudding is to gather all the Yum in the world, mix it with banana pudding, bananas, ‘Nilla Wafers, and probably Cool Whip.

Yes, I had seconds.

Prior to the World’s Best Banana Pudding, I had BBQ chicken (which meant half a bird), corn bread (with jalapenos), and a baked potato the size of Montana. Meanwhile, other people in our group were doing the All You Can Eat approach to BBQ.

My conclusion so far on this trip is that there is a lot of food in Dallas.

Certainly, a great deal of food has literally thrown itself in front of me in the last 24 hours or so. (Did I mention the seconds on the banana pudding?)

A person in our group came up with the term “pre-redundancy” last night. As in to be redundant but before the thing you’re being redundant about has happened or been said. It is an excellent term that should certain work its way into the lexicon of everyone (but probably won’t).

Last night it was used in conversation around the idea of teaching (adult learners do well with repetition and therefore pre-redundancy is useful).

Today, breakfast is pre-redundant.

Doesn’t mean I won’t be helping myself to a lovely start of the day (and coffee).

Unfortunately, there probably won’t be any banana pudding.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Once upon a time (my favorite way to start a story), there was no such thing as brunch. The first meal invented was dinner (although it was called Feed Me I’m Starving). Then Moms were invented and they unionized to create breakfast (known as It’s the Most Important Meal of the Day Now and Forever).

One day, however, Mrs. Joe Neanderthal decided she didn’t feel like making breakfast (The Most Important Meal of the Day). Not only did she not feel like cooking, there was nothing in the Neanderthal cupboard. No leftover sabretooth tiger, no soggy vegetables, and definitely no Fruit Loops for small Neanderthals to snack on.

Now, as I have mentioned, Mrs. Joe Neanderthal was one smart lady—especially for a Neanderthal.

Therefore, as all the little Neanderthals started clamoring for food (breakfast being the most important meal of the day), and Mrs. J. N. rolled over and pulled her fur blanket up around her ears, she grunted, “Brnch s bttr.”

Mrs. Joe Neanderthal wasn’t big on using vowels first thing in the morning.

Once she got up, Mrs. J invented a new meal, proving that “Brunch is better.”

The thing about brunch is that it’s not available most days. So when we have brunch, it’s something special.

Brunch is about the event as much as it’s about the food. It’s about taking time and savoring the meal (there is nothing rushed about brunch). It’s about who you’re dining with. It’s about friends or family (or both if you’re lucky).

But let’s be honest: brunch is also about the food.

Brunch food is luxuriously rich. It’s food you don’t make for breakfast because who has the time? Brunch is creamy eggy deliciousness and extravagant bagel toppings and extraordinary brunchy pastries. Brunch is mimosas and bloody marys. Brunch is seconds and thirds and even fourth helpings.

Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but I’m pretty sure brunch is the best meal of the month.

What’s your favorite brunch food?

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Have you heard about the Great Egg Shortage hitting the US? It’s a real thing, not a new Dr. Seuss book or (just) a bad intro line for a blog.

Having finished with Ebola, the Universe has decided to hand out a second place epidemic called Avian Bird Flu targeting egg-laying birdies in particular.

Which means that while the price of your chicken wings will stay relatively stable, the price of your egg McBreakfast is skyrocketing.

And that’s not really the problem.

The issue isn’t just that the cost of eggs is going up. The issue is that there aren’t as many eggs to be had. Hence the Great Egg Shortage.

So far, the average person (and by “average person” I mean me) hasn’t really seen a big impact. Most of the chain restaurants are still serving eggs and most of the bakeries have been able to keep up. Some restaurants are cutting their breakfast hours or pushing non-eggy food like bagels and lox (not really suffering too much here, are we?). And at least one grocer is rationing eggs. But at a limit of 3 dozen per visit, it doesn’t feel like a huge problem.

Yet.

So far no one has managed to come up with a great way to treat the avian flu. The best medical advice appears to be “this will all go away once it gets warmer.” Which is relatively good news in that it’s already June and presumably it will get warmer one of these days. (Mother Nature–that was a subtle hint.)

On the other hand, guess what I had for breakfast while they’re still available?

Love, Mom