Dear Kid,

It’s Cinco de Exhausted.

Turns out the World’s Most Wonderful Children kept me out past my bedtime last night. The good news is I adore my children and adore spending time with them (even if we really only associated with each other on the drive to and from the movie). The bad news is The Avengers is not a movie to sleep through (especially since it cost a mortgage payment to buy the tickets and 2 bottles of water).

And while you—as a college student—can probably manage on a few seconds sleep, Moms of college students, not so much.

So while I’m contemplating wearing extra mascara to give my eyelids a nice resting place, most of the world is celebrating Cinco de Mayo (or Cincobration if you’ve been reading DearKidLoveMom for a while).

Which means people everywhere are eating tacos, drinking margaritas, swinging at piñatas, and other cinco stuff.

Except for the people eating hoagies because it is also National Hoagie Day.

The people in charge of marketing Cinco de Mayo have done a much better job than the people marketing hoagies since absolutely no one knows it is National Hoagie Day.

As far as I’m concerned it’s National Take Five More Naps Day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It’s Cinco de Mayo and there is a lot to celebrate.

In 1260, Kublai Khan became the ruler of the Mongol Empire. It’s not clear that fair and democratic elections were held (and by “not clear” I mean they weren’t). But for Kublai and his campaign team, taking over meant no more door-to-door campaigning which probably bummed out Kublai, but undoubtedly made Mrs. Kublai pretty happy.

In 1494, Christopher Columbus spied Jamaica mon. He did not pick up a native accent.

In 1762, Prussia and Russia signed a peace treaty ending the Seven Years War. Putin’s predecessors ignore the terms.

In 1809, Mary Kies becomes the first woman issued a US patent for weaving straw. If she had figured out how to weave straw into gold more people would know about her.

In 1865, the first train robbery in the US took place in North Bend Ohio. This was not a banner day for North Bend, but the robbers probably felt pretty good about it.

In 1891, Music Hall (later renamed Carnegie Hall) opens giving birth to the joke “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice, practice, practice.”

In 1930, Amy Johnson took off on her flight from England to Australia (the first woman to make the flight solo). In other flying news, Jesse Owens sets the long jump record at 26’ 8 ½” in 1935. And then in 1961, Alan Shepard became the first American in space. Extra points if you know the name of the craft he flew in.

Continuing with spacey events, the Iridium-1 ( of the Delta 2 program) launched successfully on May 5, 1997, and in 2000 there was a conjunction of Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and our Moon (which means they all lined up and which is therefore pretty rare).

Hope you have a high flying day.

Love, Mom

Riding in the Freedom 7 space capsule, Shepard was the first American astronaut to travel into space. The suborbital flight, which lasted 15 minutes, reached a height of 116 miles into the atmosphere.

Good idea for outdoors. Not a good idea for a dorm room.

Dear Kid,

We are coming up on Cinco de Mayo (“coming up on” being a euphemism for “it’s tomorrow”). If you haven’t planned your CincoCelebration (Cincobration?) yet, it’s not too late. And I am here to help. (Am I a good mother, or what?)

Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for “5^th of May” and American for “I’ll have a fifth too please.” Like many good holidays, this one has a battle or two in its history but has become an opportunity to celebrate Mexican heritage more than to remember the battle.

According to the Official Site for Information on Cinco de Mayo (www.foodnetwork.com), there are many ways to enjoy the day. Áaron Sanchez (please roll your ‘r’ when you say that) believes that brownies are better with Mexican cinnamon & chili powder. Must admit, I’d never have thought of that, but it sounds delish. One of these days, I will have to try it. Seriously. I’ll keep you posted. Stop laughing.

Also on the food network site are four b’dillion, 9 hundred gazillion, and forty-two (I counted) other recipes for CincoCelebrations. But here’s the catch: they all involve kitchens.

I know that you are quite capable in the kitchen (you are a very good cook). But I also know that dorm rooms do not typically come with the cooking equipment to make authentic Mexican food. Or even inauthentic Mexican food. You can probably unwrap something from Taco Bell, but I’m not sure that really counts. And having a pinata in your room is probably not the best idea of the day.

So here are my dorm-safe ideas for celebrating Cinco de Mayo.

1.       Say “si” a lot during the day. Throw in any other Spanish you can (but since you studied French, not Spanish, I’m guessing that’s not a lot).

2.       Go out for Mexican. Let someone else (who should probably be with his or her family celebrating this holiday) cook and clean up.

3.       Wait until you are of legal drinking age and have a margarita.

4.       Wear a sombrero. Be prepared to be ridiculed.

5.       Decorate your dorm room with taco shells. Be prepared for multi-legged guests.

6.       Locate Mexican jumping beans.

7.       Spend a few hours searching the web for ideas about celebrating Cinco de Mayo.

If all else fails, maybe the cafeteria will serve Mexican.

Let me know what else you come up with.

Happy Not Quite Cinco de Mayo,

Love, Mom