In honor of the fact that finals are soon to be upon us (and by “us” I mean you), I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit by providing topical humor. Specifically, Chemistry Jokes.
Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out? OMG they’re a couple.
I didn’t say they were brilliant, just that they are chemistry jokes. Because chemistry jokes are sodium funny. (I didn’t make that up, but I kinda wish I had.)
No reaction to chemistry jokes so far? I’ll keep trying.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
Is funny, is funny.
Helium walks into a bar, and the bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.” Helium doesn’t react.
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe
Come on. How many moms do you know that look up chemistry jokes for her Kid? Especially when she only understands about half of them.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.” The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies “I’m positive.”
Is silicon the same in Spanish? Si.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
You should feel free to smile rather than rolling your eyes at me. I know you are, even if i can’t see you.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
That one I like a lot. I might even try to remember it…
(Fe)male: Male with iron added for greater strength, ductility, and magnetism.
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
Little Timmy took a drink, but he will drink no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
(It’s funnier once you look up H2SO4 and discover it’s sulfuric acid.)
Hope today is full of giggles. But don’t overreact if it isn’t.