Dear Kid,

My body and I are arguing a lot these days.

Body: Let’s eat cake!
Me: No.
Body: Let’s eat cookies!
Me: No.
Body: Let’s eat chocolate!
Me: No.
Body: Remind me again why I hang out with you?

Me: Tell the fat cells to go.
Body: Not so much.
Me: This is an eviction notice for the fat cells.
Body: But they live here!
Me: That’s the point. They are no longer welcome.
Body: I think I’ll keep them anyway.

Me: Get up and get moving.
Body: I got up and got moving yesterday.
Me: We have to do it again.
Body: I beg to differ.
Me: It’s not really optional.
Body: Yeah? Just try moving without me.

Body: I hurt.
Me: You don’t hurt. We went to the gym yesterday.
Body: I hurt.
Me: You feel energized.
Body: I think we’re using a different dictionary.

Body: It is time to eat.
Me: We just ate.
Body: It is time to eat again.
Me: It is time to clean the kitchen.
Body: My idea is better.
Me: True. But…
Body: So we eat!
Me: No.
Body: The cookies are tempting….
Me: Yes, but…
Body: We could just have one.
Me: Now I know you’re toying with me.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Just in case you haven’t checked the calendar, today is March 8^th. It’s also Change the Clocks Day, which seems like a royal rip off because it means you get an hour less to celebrate your birthday.

On the other hand, since we’ve been celebrating for several days, I’m willing to bet you’ve gotten a fairly good dose of Happily Celebration.

So for you (and anyone else celebrating today) and for our Happy Birthday Bunny (and anyone else) celebrating tomorrow

Happy Birthday, Kiddo!

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Today is the 600^th DearKidLoveMom blog. This has exactly no historical significance. There is no need to applaud unless you really want to. In which case, who am I to object?

Once I realized that it was the 600^th blog, I immediately turned to My Friend the Internet to see what interesting information I could find about the number 600. MFTI was—as usual—most helpful.

The Coca-Cola 600 is the longest NASCAR race (at 600 miles). The race takes place in May at the Charlotte Motor Speedway (just in case you were thinking about buying tickets).

600 “represents the Karma of the microcosmic individual.” I have no idea what that means. If anyone can explain it, I would be delighted to listen. Unless it’s a bunch of drivel in which case I will forgo the education.

Noah was 600 when the flood began. One would assume he aged significantly while afloat with all those animals. I’m guessing one measures time in dog years when one is aboard the ark.

The number 600 is pronic as it is the product of two consecutive numbers (in this case 24 and 25—aren’t you glad I figured it out for you?). Turns out there are a bunch of other classifications I’ve never heard of (like cake and pizza numbers.  I kid you not. I thought I understood the definitions of those, but when I looked at the examples, it turns out I don’t. I shall consult my fave mathematician and baker.).

The head of Goliath’s spear weighed 600 shekels of iron. This is about half what my purse usually weighs.

The number 600 is used 25 times in the Bible. I’m not sure which Bible or who counted, but MFTI says it’s true, so there you have it.

In the year 600 CE Pope Gregory the Great decreed “God bless You” as the religiously correct response to a sneeze. This is probably my favorite fact about the number 600. What’s yours?

Alfred, Lord Tennyson, immortalized the six hundred in The Charge of the Light Brigade.

The Charge of the Light Brigade

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
“Charge for the guns!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

and so on

According to Japanese lore, when the crane (or stork) turns 600, it ceases to eat and is satisfied with drinking.

600 basketballs were available to use during the London Olympics.

On average, you will take 600 million breaths during your life. I advise living long enough to far exceed this number.

The odds of being struck by lightning are about 600 thousand to one. Of course, if you get hit by lightning, you might not get to take all 600 million breaths, so listen to your mother and don’t play golf during a lightning storm.

There are 600 pain censors in each square inch of skin. Unless you get a papercut in which case there are 600 x 600 pain censors per millimeter of skin.

It takes (about) 600 cows to make enough footballs for a single NFL season. Cows typically do not volunteer for football making duty. I should really write a blog about footballs.

There are approximately 600 ingredients in cigarettes. None of them are good for you. If necessary, I can provide 600 reasons you shouldn’t smoke. Not for you, but you might know someone who can benefit.

And once I sign off, this blog will have 600 words. Just exactly 600.

Love, Mom