Dear Kid,

As someone (like me) may have mentioned, there is a Significant Football game this weekend. You can tell it’s significant because Katy Perry was all dressed up like a cross between a football and a cheerleader for her press conference.

And as you doubtless (without a doubt) remember, there are people who will be betting on the game. Not just the boring who is going to win and who is going to lose kind of bet, and not the typical I’ll wash the dishes all week kind of bet.

I’m talking about the prop bets. The crazy, cheese-cake-or-strudel type bet (extra points if you get the reference) that makes you smile while you lose your cash.

If you were the betting type, you could bet on whether Tom Brady will throw a TD before he throws an interception (or vice versa).

In good news for kickers, you could bet on whether one of the kickers will win MVP. (I suggest not taking that one.) There is also a prop bet on how many FGs the Seahawks will kick.

You could bet on what type of Bill Belichick’s hoodie, or what Katy Perry will be wearing (I’m absolutely sure she won’t be wearing the aforementioned football outfit and that her boobs will be covered—beyond that, I’m not making any bets).

There are bets that have to do with it being Groundhog Day and bets about what the announcers say and how they say it.

There are no bets on whether I will be blogging about the Super Bowl afterward. There are no bets available about what you will be eating during the game. And to the best of my knowledge there are no bets on whether it will be a good game, since the one thing no one can agree on is what “good” football is.

Love, Mom

In Guys and Dolls, Nathan Detroit tries to get Sky Masterson to bet on whether Mindys sells more cheese cake or strudel.

Cider.