Dear Kid,

Today is Groundhog Day. And today’s favorite rodent, Punx Phil, predicted that the day will end with a lot of people overeating at Superbowl parties*. (Rumor has it he plans to do his share of eating then return to hibernation.)

The Math
East Rutherford, home of the Met Life Stadium, is expecting approximately 400,000 people to descend for the Main Event. (Governor Chris Christie asked me to remind you that that’s New Jersey.)

The stadium has graciously provided 12,000 parking spots for the 82,500 game attendees. No word on overflow parking or on why the other 320,000 people are going to New Jersey (and Christie isn’t saying).

The prize awarded to the winner of the Super Bowl, the Vince Lombardi Trophy, is made by Tiffany’s. It has its own Brinks truck and armed guard to take it to the Stadium. No word on whether they get a parking space.

On the off chance you were worrying about weather, the stadium has 1,600 workers ready to shovel in case of snow-maggedon.

The Security
Homeland Security, the Coast Guard, the FBI, a bunch of police departments (and for all I know the Girl Scouts) have a big day of Security Enforcement planned. Planes will by flying with infrared and night vision systems (true), and even the players will be frisked before taking the field (not true, but not a bad idea). There is a rumor that Snoopy will be on the lookout for the Red Baron. It’s not a good day to be a football-hating terrorist.

The Game
There will be a football game (it can be hard to remember that, what with all the other hype). This is Super Bowl XLVII, Seattle Seahawks vs Denver Broncos. Quite enough has been said about the teams being from the only two states that have legalized marijuana so I am going to show some class by not talking about it.

Blitz is the Seahawks’ mascot and Miles (as in Mile High stadium) is the Broncos’ mascot. Presumably neither were named for marijuana effects.

Many people have opinions on which team will win. I have an opinion, which I will not be sharing so that I can’t be proven wrong.

EA Sports ran a Madden football video game simulation (as they do each year) to predict the winner (they’ve been right 8 out of the last 10 Super Bowls). They are predicting Denver winning in overtime. More about OT later.

The Commercials
Many people tune in just for the fab ads. This year, 43 advertisers will compete (total competition time 32 minutes 30 seconds spread out over many hours) to be the coolest kid on the block.

The Betting
While there will be lots of betting on the game (in which I hope you will not participate) there will also be lots of betting on other stuff (ditto). The other stuff bets are known as prop bets. Here are some of the best I found (and by “best” I mean “ones I like the most”).

  • Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech? (Teammates, God, Fans, Coach, Other Team)
  • How many times will Peyton Manning say “Omaha” during the game? (Over/Under 27.5 times)
  • What color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team? (Orange, Clear/Water, Yellow, Red, Blue, Green)
  • Will any members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers be shirtless during their halftime show performance?
  • How long will it take Renee Fleming to sing the National Anthem? (Over/Under 2 minutes and 25 seconds)

The Entertainment
There will be much entertainment in addition to the actual football game.

The Band Perry and Phillip Phillips will perform for the pregame show. Then SuperOperaStar Renee Fleming will sing the national anthem (my prediction: she will sing it beautifully).

Queen Latifah will sing America the Beautiful.

Somewhere in there will be a coin toss. In 47 Super Bowls, the coin has shown heads 24 times, tails 23 times. For the last three games, heads has shown so if one were to bet (which I sincerely hope you are not) one might suggest that tails would be ever in your favor.

The halftime show will star Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And probably no wardrobe malfunctions.

The Outcome
Someone will win (remember, you heard it here first).

I’m hoping for a good game, excellent commercials, and to continue the no OT tradition (no Super Bowl has ever gone into overtime). After all, while we might like this to go on forever, Monday is a school day.

Love, Mom

*Phil saw his shadow, so six more weeks of winter. Told you we should have blindfolded him.

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