Dear Kid,
There is dew on the grass this morning.
And it is cold.
I discovered this because I was wearing flip flops to walk the Puppy this morning and he decided to venture onto the grass (apparently the dew didn’t bother him at all).
Since I didn’t have much choice in the matter (given the business he took care of on said grass), I took an innocent step forward.
Let me preface this by saying I hadn’t had any coffee yet.
My eyes flew open a few heartbeats above the speed of light. The shock went right through my sleep-addled brain straight to the WTH section without stopping in any of the rational thought centers. (Yes, it’s a given that Rational Thought Centers are easy to avoid in my brain, but still.)
Dew looks so fresh, inviting, and innocent. This of course is patently false advertising. Dew is actually zillions of teeny little droplets of water lurking with evil intent to shock the unwary into awake-ness. They work together having each agreed to the latest union terms.
It’s not supposed to be cold on flip-flop days.
Clearly, this is a failure on the part of Mother Nature, not any kind of misjudgment regarding my footwear.
Just so we’re clear.
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