Speaking of colossally bad ideas, my friend Sue pointed out our next contender in the Are You Kidding Me? category.
Naked Gardening Day.
It’s a thing. It’s a thing on the first Saturday of May.
It is not a thing we will be doing at our house.
I am so appalled at the concept, I don’t even know where to start: Sunburn? Mosquitoes? Mulch and grass in places mulch and grass shouldn’t go? A poorly aimed weedwacker? Embarrassed petunias? People showing too much winter paleness?
The possibilities are horrifying and horrifyingly endless.
Although just because you are unclothed does not mean you are a hoe.
I talked to the Puppy about Naked Gardening Day.
Puppy: Fur. You need fur.
Me: It’s summer. Why do I need fur?
Puppy: Sunburn. Mosquitoes. Mulch and grass. Embarrassed petunias. Skin that’s blindingly pale. Fur solves the problems.
Puppy: Yep, fur.
Me: And the weedwacker?
Puppy: Run. In your fur.
The first people to participate in Naked Gardening Day were Adam and Eve. Even the snake was unclad according to most accounts of the story. They enjoyed N G Day right up to the point where they discovered the joy of custom fit fig leaves.
Not sure what you’re going to be doing next Saturday. But I know what I will not be doing.