Dear Kid,

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as fathers. There were Mothers Who Did Everything and Dudes Who Tried Not To Get Killed On The Hunt.

Mrs. Neanderthal (being the enlightened woman that she was) decided this was a terrible division of labor and that DWTNTGKOTH could also bloody well help with diaper changing. Thus, fathers were invented.

(Isn’t it a good thing you have me around to help with history?)

Fathers are an important part of our world today. They traditionally do husband-like things like grilling, taking out garbage, and removing wildlife from the house. They also do father-like things like removing splinters, grilling boyfriends, and teaching kids to throw balls.

To resume our history lesson. Once upon a time there was no such thing as Father’s Day (Mrs. Neanderthal didn’t think Joe Neanderthal needed any more reasons to celebrate).

Then Sonora Smart Dodd founded Father’s Day to recognize her father, a Civil War veteran and single parent who had raised 6 children. She suggested June 5^th as Father’s Day (it was her dad’s birthday) but her pastor didn’t have enough time to write a relevant sermon and so they celebrated on the third Sunday of June.

Father’s Day was not an immediate success. Especially because people thought that Father’s Day was just an attempt by retailers to increase business. The retailers denied this, especially because that wasn’t how it started, but no one believed them. Beginning in 1913 there were several attempts to make Father’s Day a national holiday all of which failed. In 1966, President Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, but it didn’t become a permanent holiday until Nixon signed it into law in 1972.

Bet you didn’t know all that.

The most important part is that Father’s Day is this coming Sunday. Today would be a good day to get a quick letter into the mail wishing your papa a happy day.

Love, Mom