Dear Kid,

Poof!

Another weekend disappeared as if Dumbledore had pointed his wand and said an incantation.

Time is weird. Some days seem to take forever, some take forever to get here, some go by at a normal pace, and sometimes – blip! – it seems as if you blink and they’re gone.

For us, this weekend wasn’t really anything spectacular. In fact, it was the plainest of the plain, the most routine of all weekends.

I can’t remember a single thing we did (except registering Pi for classes for her senior year. That was an Adventure in Creative Scheduling and Rationalization. Turns out she wants to take far more than there are slots in the day. Add in sports and work and being Pi and….we decided she needs to talk to her counselor.).

Monday is named for the moon (Moon Day). In this part of the world, the moon is hiding behind clouds. In the northeast, the moon took one look at the storm, decided it was being upstaged, and went to visit Jupiter for a few days.

Stay safe if you’re in Marcus’ path!

Today is Clean Out Your Computer Day (you’re supposed to get rid of old files and whatnot). That seems to fall under the “Yeah, Right” category. My computer will have to remain cluttered for another year.

Hope you have a memorable day.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

You’re safely back at school (thank you for letting us know you arrived before the weather started) and I miss you already. So does the Puppy. By the way, he’s not completely better, but he spun around at dinner time, so I take that as a very good sign of healing.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things today.

Like:

Why is it that most girl athletes with long hair wear their hair in a ponytail when they’re playing but most men (and by “most men” I mean NFL players) just wear their long hair down during games?

Why is it no one will pay me to play solitaire all day on my computer?

Who decided it was a good idea to keep running the really creepy Old Spice commercials?

Why do adults have to work on school snow days?

What impact do we think drones will have on professional football?

Why does time go so quickly from 4pm Sunday to 11pm Sunday?

What would it take to train the dog to bring me another serving of potatoes?

As you can see, it’s been a very busy day.

If you find the answers to these—or any other important questions—don’t hesitate to fill me in.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

It snowed the other day here.

That’s not big news since it snowed pretty much everywhere including on several tropical islands.

Tal was absolutely beside herself (which is difficult) seeing snow for the first time. She loved seeing the puppy’s paw prints in the snow—too cute.

Speaking of the puppy, he went nose first. During the early morning hours, a deer had crossed in front of the house and gone down the driveway. Booker stopped to sniff each hoof print, run a DNA analysis, and file the information. I’m sure it was all very accurate, but there were a lot of hoof prints, so the process took a while.

I wonder what he thinks when he does all that sniffing.

“I wasn’t just sniffing. I was securing the perimeter.”

I thought about asking how his nose could secure the perimeter, but then decided perhaps it was better not to inquire.

By this morning, most of the remaining snow had turned to ice (due to the melting and refreezing action of pressure from tires—see the things I remember from high school physics?). The ice did not please our furry friend who attempted to solve the problem by walking without any of his feet touching the ground.

Of course, trying to levitate took most of his attention so he wasn’t getting around to doing the things a puppy goes outside in the morning to do.

Finally we discovered an actual bit of grass where said business could be attended to and the Great Blockage of 2014 was avoided.

Hope you’ve thawed somewhat by now.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

April 15^th has gotten a bad rap. Yes, it’s Income Tax Day, and Lincoln died, and the Titanic sank, and Anna Boleyn and George Boleyn Lord Rochford were accused of adultery and incest, and there was the horror of the Boston marathon, and yes it’s snowing this morning which is a mistake on a whole new level, but is that any reason to condemn 1/365 of the year?

So, being the kind of mom that I, I decided it was time to set the record straight and share some of the fabulous things that happened throughout history on April 15^th.

Unfortunately for me, that would involve some fabulous things actually happening on April 15^th.

At first, I thought finding fab things for the 15^th would be easy. Then I realized I was looking at events for May 15^th and I had to start all over.

Some pretty good things happened on April 15^th. The first US school for the deaf opened (1817), the first telephone was installed (1877), insulin became generally available (1923), the NFL changed the penalty flag from white to bright gold (1965), and billionaire Leona Helmsley was sent to jail for tax evasion (1992).

But none of that really qualifies as “fabulous.”

Sigh.

And it’s snowing. In April.

Plan B: Advice For April 15

• Avoid the post office (everyone who isn’t e-filing is mailing their taxes).
• Avoid “unsinkable” ships. Even in the bathtub.
• Call your mother (which you already did, but you can certainly do again).

Hope you manage to have a day that qualifies as fab.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Pi and I were spending a little time together before she left for school.

“Thanks for the boots, by the way,” she said. I looked confused. To cover my confusion, I said, “Huh?”

“The boots,” she said pointing to her feet. “Thanks for letting me borrow them.” Since it had worked so well for me the first time, I repeated, “Huh?”

Obviously deciding I wasn’t awake yet, she broke it down into little words. “Thank you,” she said signing at the same time so that I’d be sure to get her meaning, “for letting me” pointing to herself “borrow your” pointing to me “boots.” She finished with a dramatic flair as she pointed to her feet.

“Those are mine?” I asked.

She burst out laughing. “You didn’t know that?”

Errrr… “I thought I’d bought a new pair of winter boots last year but I thought they were more like my old ones. And I kept seeing those on your feet…” I trailed off lamely. Pi was laughing too hard to respond. Finally she caught her breath.

“They’re yours. Haven’t you notice I don’t keep them in my room or anything?” For a smart chick, that is not a brilliant statement–neither of us are very good at corralling our shoes, so there is often pedal attire multiplying in the kitchen, family room, laundry room, or any other convenient corner.

“So those are mine, huh?”

“Yup.” She started giggling again.

“You mean I’ve been freezing my toes off in this weather when they could have been warm in your, I mean MY, boots?”

“You could have worn them any time. Well, any time I wasn’t.”

I gave her a look meant to quell the giggles. It didn’t work. If anything, it ignited another round of guffaws.

This is embarrassing. I love shoes. I love my shoes. I forgive myself for forgetting because these are winter boots meant more for functionality than fashion. And hidden away with other winter outerwear for 6 months a year.

On the other hand a 15 year old was wearing them. They can’t be hideous or she’d never have appropriated them.

Yesterday I wore her my new newish boots. Even with the snow, my toes were happy.

Stay warm, kid,

Love, Mom