Dear Kid,

Listen my child and you shall hear
Of a meal we ate when you weren’t here.

I thought of writing the whole blog in poem, but by the third line of my attempt I’d gone from Paul Revere’s Ride to A Visit From St. Nicholas (Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!) and the scan had gotten hopelessly mixed up in my head. Back to narrative.

Last night we went out to dinner. Turns out you need to make reservations more than 20 minutes in advance if you want to take 6 people to dinner on a Saturday night at a trendy spot. We went to Bonefish Grill (which I like very much but I’d been to before and I’d hoped to try one of the new restaurants in town. Apparently so did a lot of other people.).

Puppy: You didn’t take me
Me: You had dinner at home
Puppy: I could have eaten if you’d taken me
Me: You were napping
Puppy: Only after you left me at home!
Me: (I am not going to mention they don’t let dogs in. I am not going to mention they don’t let dogs in. I am not going) Want to play with a toy?
Puppy: I love toys!

I had planned to take photos of dinner and share our culinary experience that way. It was a perfect plan except for the part about me remembering to take photos which I forgot. Completely.

So imagine, if you will, hummus and potsticker appetizers, delightful salads (for some of us), warm bread, delicious entrees, and sparkling conversation. I wouldn’t have known how to photograph the sparkling conversation anyway.

Puppy: Do I have sparkling conversation?
Me: ummm…
Puppy: Scratch me
Me: Yup, that sparkles
Puppy: See? You should have taken me

All in all, a lovely evening.

Puppy: Except for the part about me not going.
Me: I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it was still a lovely evening.
Puppy: Except for the part about me not going.

Except (according to some) for the part about Booker not going.

Hope your day is sparkling.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

I have a new favorite dish and its name is Shakshukah.

This is how you make Shakshukah.

Since it’s a tomato based dish, the first thing to do is go outside and see if there are any ripe tomatoes. It turns out there are several that are almost ready but prefer to remain on the vine for a while so you add to your plans a stop at the farmer’s market to get tomatoes.

Once you have tomatoes and have decided that the rest of the ingredients are as assembled as they are ever going to be, you begin.

Boil a pot of water that’s big enough to hold all the tomatoes. Get distracted, forget about the pot, and eventually realize that half the water has boiled off. Sigh. Once you have an actual pot of boiling water, put the tomatoes in and turn off the heat. After some number of minutes (“I think maybe a few more minutes would be good” says Tal), scoop the tomatoes out. Try not to burn yourself. The skins will peel right off. They are even easier to peel when someone else (Tal) peels them.

Chop a couple of cloves of garlic. Better yet, have someone else (Tal) chop several cloves of garlic while you see about cleaning up some of the dishes that have been left in the sink.

Heat some oil in a large pan. Watch Tal add the garlic and stir. After a few minutes, watch her add the tomatoes and mash them up. Add about “that much” from a can of diced tomatoes. Add 2 heaping tablespoons of tomato paste. Watch Tal stir.

Season the mixture with some of the spices that Tal brought. (We added two tablespoons of spice and some salt and pepper. After the whole thing cooked for about 15 minutes we tasted and added more spice. Then we congratulated ourselves on being smart enough to taste before moving on.)

Get out the eggs. Consult about how many eggs are necessary. The recipe said 8 eggs, Tal said 5, and the pan said 6. We went with the pan’s idea. Break each egg into a bowl and gently slide the egg on top of the well-stirred tomato mixture. Cover the pan partway and let the eggs cook about 5 minutes. Check the eggs and decide they definitely need more time than that. Give them another 5 minutes or so and decide they’re done.

Serve with bread. You put the Shakshukah on your plate and then pile it on a piece of bread and YUM!

If you are a very good child, I shall make it for you sometime.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Friday night, Pi had a bunch of friends over for s’mores. That was the plan anyway.

She sent text invitations so we knew we’d have 8-10 people.

Then one of her friends asked if he could arrive a little early so we invited him for dinner. Then the dinner friend asked if another friend could come for dinner (since that was his ride). No problem. When they arrived, I put the boys to work stirring and slicing (new recipe—delish) and making salad.

As we were making dinner, Pi got a text from another friend who was coming to have s’mores but needed dinner. Sure, come early. We-Feed-People R Us. I found a new recipe: Gnocchi with Zucchini and Carrot ribbons. To be Slightly More Accurate, I found a recipe for Gnocchi with Zucchini Ribbons and then modified it in several directions. Yum.

The next problem we had was that it was raining. Not monsooning or even downpouring, but raining enough so that the idea of sitting outside was highly unattractive. So I did what any enterprising mom would do—we set up candles and let everyone cook s’mores on the porch over candles. Not quite the same, but no seemed to mind.

Some of the s’mores were the traditional toasted-marshmallow-chocolate-graham cracker variety. Others were a little more creative. There were Reeces and peanut butter and various other ingredients involved.

Here’s to innovation.

Love, Mom

Dear Kid,

Turns out fish think better in groups than individually. I am not making this up.

It’s not that the fish copy each other’s answers (they’re in school after all). It’s more that fish live something of a meritocracy.

A male emperor angelfish lives together with up to five female mates. If the emperor angelfish dies, one of the females turns into a male fish and becomes the leader of the group.

The fish seem to figure out whose summa is the laud-est and they follow that fish. This is the opposite of lemmings who (according to legend) follow whatever fuzzy tail is in front of them.

Scientists figured out the fish thinking thing by giving individual fish choices about which way to swim and then giving groups of fish choices. Turns out individual fish are more likely to pick the “Become a filet o’ fish” lane and groups of fish are more likely to pick the “This way to the plankton pool” path.

Human children do not necessarily behave this way. Human adults do not necessarily behave this way.

Which leads me to wonder if perhaps fish are smarter than humans…

This is an odd thing to wonder since fish have pretty small brains compared to their body size (compared to other animals) which may have something to do with why they rely on the fish with the most smarticles.

Jellyfish aren’t fish. I don’t think very highly of jellyfish. But you knew that.

Fish in the middle of the school control the movement of the school. Think of them as the principal or the most popular teacher.

The term “fish” is used when referring to one species of fish (e.g., 10 salmon are 10 fish). The term “fishes” is used when referring to more than one species (e.g., 10 salmon, 3 trout, and 1 angel fish are 14 fishes). The term “fishies” is used when talking to a small child. The term “dinner” is used when referring to fish found in the supermarket.

Here’s to a day that’s not fishy.

Love, Mom