I played soccer yesterday. And I was awesome.
Now before you begin thinking up snarky responses, let me clarify.
Turns out I am a natural for standing where I’m told to stand on a soccer field.
Seriously, you would have been crazy impressed.
I even managed to get the ball away from her. Once.
I celebrated. Dad and Pi laughed. I did not get a yellow card for excessive celebration.
Then I was promoted to ball-kicker. It was my job to kick the ball to Pi and her job to get it around Dad.
Once again, I executed my athletic duties with accuracy, timeliness, and amazing modesty.
Finally, it was my job to throw the ball in the vicinity of Pi’s feet. I say vicinity since there was a lack of clarity on the part of the direction-giver. But I finally got the hang of it. And then Pi kicked the ball in Dad’s face.
Fortunately, she didn’t kick it hard, so there were no emergency room runs.
I plan to announce my retirement from soccer later today amid great fanfare, a major press conference, and sobs from Pi. At least when she isn’t laughing at me.