Dear Kid,

Have you ever really listened to one of the commercials for a specialized medication?

Near the end of the commercial (in rapidly read fine print), the voice over says, “Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions.”

Well, duh.

The voice over also says, “Don’t take if you are allergic to [insert name of medication being advertised].”

Really, I shouldn’t take it if I’m allergic to it?

Most importantly, do not – under any circumstances – accept diagnosis by proxy by TV commercial. DearKidLoveMom.comI’m confused about why they’re advertising to me in the first place. I’m not annoyed that they’re advertising for a product that treats a disease I don’t have; there are commercials for all sorts of things I have no intention of needing/using/trying. But while I might not want to try SuperSugarLoadedSugarCerealwithExtraSugar, I feel perfectly capable of making that decision.

I don’t think I’m qualified to make decisions about what medication to take. Especially if I have to be told not to take it if I’m allergic to it.

Why don’t the drug companies focus on advertising to the medical professionals? (I know the answer is because some patients will come in and ask for the specific drug and doctors will give it to them and so they will sell more, etc., but that only partly answers the question.)

Mom’s Rules of Medicine:

  1. If you are qualified (and by “qualified” I mean breathing) human being, feel free to apply Band Aids (in any quantity or design) to non-serious, non-life threatening wounds.
    1. If you are under the age of 6, “wounds” include any bump or bruise including the invisible ouchies.
  2. If you are a qualified Mom or the child of a qualified Mom (and by “Mom” I mean mom-type caregiver), feel free to prescribe soup, rest, a kiss on the forehead, and ibuprofen.
  3. If 1 and 2 don’t take care of what ails you, ask your mother. If you’re still not fixed, go see a qualified medical professional (one with an actual degree in something medicinal) and allow that person to diagnose and prescribe solutions.
    1. Tell them all your medical stuff.
    2. All of it.
  4. When necessary (and by “necessary” I mean if your mother or your gut tells you to) get a second opinion from another qualified medical profession.

Most importantly, do not – under any circumstances – accept diagnosis by proxy by TV commercial.

Unless the diagnosis is you haven’t eaten enough sugar-enriched cereal. Then go for it.

Love, Mom