Dear Kid,

It's hard to believe the FCC doesn't consult me about what commercials to allow DearKidLoveMom.comIt’s amazing that I’m not consulted on more things.

Like which commercials should be allowed and which should be banned forever.

For example, any commercial that features insects (real or CGI): should be banned.

Diet Coke commercials: allowed.

Any commercial, no matter how well-intentioned, that shows sad and/or harmed and/or mistreated animals: definitely banned.

Car commercials: meh.

Any commercial that includes the words, “But wait!” or “easy payments” shall be limited to 30 seconds.

Commercials for fresh fruit and veggies: approved.

Commercials for breakfast cereal: perfectly fine—after 9pm.

Commercials for cell phones: whatev.

Commercials for coffee: um, of course they’re ok.

Commercials for stupid television shows or movies: um, duh, no.

Commercials for restaurants: depends on my mood.

Commercials for pistachios: absolutely—love those. Both the commercials and the nuts.

See how much better the world would be?

What commercials would you allow? Which would you ban?

Love, Mom