Dear Kid,

Last night for dinner, I had half a pouch of mini Oreos, a packet of Belvita, some chips, and two diet Dr. Peppers. Why such a gourmet feast? We were driving through the mountains of South Carolina, Tennessee, and Kentucky.

Do you know what mountains means? It means no internet, no cell service, no radio, and no restaurants. In fact, there were several questions about car travel that interested me and (being the kind of Mom I am) I decided to investigate.

I contacted OFFAL (Official Food Fans and Lumberjacks) to inquire about the lack of healthy food and why travelers tend to eat so much junk. According to their tireless research efforts, it turns out that Pilot Travel Centers do not serve grilled salmon.

I then called DRIVER (Drivers and Riders In Vehicles Exercising Regularly). They encourage their members to stay in shape by doing isometrics (I tried it. Not bad.). Sit-ups are not recommended in moving vehicles and they assured me it is not possible to get cardio done while traveling in a car.

I was also curious as to why I couldn’t get the song “On Our Way to Grandpa’s Farm” out of my head. Singers Harmonizing InterRelational Acoustics (SHIRA) had no idea, but they happily joined in a rousing chorus (followed by a verse in barbershop harmony).

The National Association of Parents (NAP) was able to conclusively confirm that moving vehicles encourage sleeping, and my own little eyes confirmed that gasoline is about $.75/gallon cheaper in the Carolinas than in Ohio.

Now you know.

Love, Mom